Russian Blue
by Yuvia
Summary: A love story about two men... a love story that almost seems like a dream... a love story that started in a nightmare. After losing the love of your life, would you have the courage to carry on? FAKE Fanfic. Please Read and Review!
1. Mentira Lies

Russian Blue

by Rainy  
edited by Nariel

AUTHOR'S NOTE (2): Hello. This is my first attempt at a FAKE fic. And even though it has received about 111 reviews (thank you very much) I have been lured into editing it and making it pretty by the edit lady posted here (Nariel). So, without further ado, here you go…

DISCLAIMER: I do not own FAKE. This is creation of Sanami Matoh, published in the US by Tokyopop. ALSO, take note that THIS IS NOT A SONG FIC, o though a song plays a major part of this chapter. The song in question is called "Mentira" (Lies) and it's by Gilberto Santa Rosa.  
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Que me digas que ahora el amor sabe mal

Que me digas que el sol no dejara de alumbrar

Es querer renunciar, a los sueños de ayer..

That you tell me that now love tastes bad

That you tell me that the sun won't ever quit burning

It's wanting to give up to yesterday's dreams...

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Chapter 1

Randy Ryo Maclean sat on one of the chairs of NYC County Hospital's waiting room, his hands clamped together, hiding his lips between them, his eyes fixated on the hallway that lead to Trauma Room 1. He stopped noticing the presence of the entire precinct there, or the presence of Carol and Bikky right next to him, looking gloomy and worried, or the fact that JJ had been walking up and down like a caged animal, unusually quiet. Most of the people there where asking questions (oh so many questions!) about the bank held-up, about the hostage situation, about the robbers and the shoot-out... and, of course, about Dee.

He - Ryo - felt as if his entire life was being sucked right out of him when the doctor finally came out and spoke to them. All the words where extremely unnecessary, no matter how sugar-pumpled they seemed to make the doctors and nurses feel good about themselves and make the patient's family believe it too. They where nothing more than bullshit explanations about how life and death are separated by mere split seconds.

The bottom line was that Dee was dead.

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Es mirar la montaña y decir no podré

Superar esta prueba, que puede matar

Cuando estás justo ahí de poderla alcanzar

It's watching the mountain and saying I can't

Overcome this obstacle that can kill

When you're just right there ... able to reach it...

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It was the need to see for himself that they weren't kidding that drove Ryo to that trauma room just as some med students were finishing stitching up Dee's chest. Gauzes and blood covered the floor. The machines were off now, as there was nothing else they could do. The students where talking to themselves in a competition sort of way, making Ryo feel sick to his stomach - to have so little respect for someone who had meant everything...

A gunshot and a scream made him turn around and see the next scene. His precinct companions where now helping out doctors and nurses, but it's a little too late when the bullet hits the brain and splatters it all over the walls, isn't it?

... He guessed JJ was serious about that after all: he always said that if anything happened to Dee he would die along too...

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Yo si creo que mal nos podría caer,

Olvidarnos que aún este amor puede ser.

_I do believe that it might be wrong for us _

_To forget that still this love can be...  
_  
Mentira, que el amor se nos fue de la piel, es mentira

Que los besos no saben a miel, es mentira

Que mi cuerpo te enfría,

Que la magia termina,

Me sabe a mentira.

Mentira, que lo bueno algún día se acaba es mentira,

Que el adiós es volver a nacer, es mentira..  
Que tus ojos se olvidan,

Que la fe es como un barco tirado en la orilla.

Juro que es, mentira.

_Lies, that love has gone from our skin it's a lie _

_That kisses don't taste like honey it's a lie _

_That my body turns you cold _

_That the magic is over to me _

_It tastes like a lie...  
_  
_Lies, that all good things end one day it's a lie _

_That good-bye is to be born again it's a lie _

_That your eyes can be forgotten _

_That faith is like a ship that's still on the beach _

_I swear that's a lie...  
_  
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"Dee! Nooo!"

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Que me digas que ahora es cuestión de olvidar

Y que por una vez no podemos pensar,

Es querer renunciar a los sueños de ayer.

That you tell me that now is a matter of forgetting

And that for once we cannot think

To want to quit to yesterday's dreams...

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Ryo woke up in the middle of the night, screaming and panting to a nightmare he just had (or was it a memory playing the sick pathetic role of a nightmare? One can never tell exactly), all sweaty and shaking. It took him a couple of seconds to get a hold of himself. 'No one around,' he thought, running a hand over his face. Not Carol. Not Bikky...

... not Dee...

He opened a window and sat on the balcony, looking at the neon-light sky of New York City: the city that never sleeps, he heard a news-anchor man said once, a long, long time ago, when he was still a kid.

"The only good thing about this town is that it's the kind of place everyone wants to be at," he heard Dee said once, looking at the streets with those eyes that could not lie. Dee loved the city, even though he complained about it once in a while... well... almost always. Ryo sighed as he looked over the street corner, thinking a million thoughts of Dee in all his patterns: the hard-headed Dee he came to meet the first day at the 27th precinct, the loosey-happy-go-goosy the chief always told him he was, the straight-forward, honest-to-God Dee he'd always admired, and, of course, the sweet, tender, loving, passionate Dee he'd fallen so hard for. Of all those memories he didn't quite know which one hurt the most, but he was coming to a pretty close conclusion that all of them had their own particular way of showing him just how much he missed him. Dee. A year ago he'd be fighting with Bikky on the sofa while Ryo would be in the kitchen making a midnight snack and smiling to himself at the sound of _his_ family.

But then... he could still hear the gunshot as clearly as if it had been shot just a couple of seconds ago...

The fact of the matter was that he missed Dee... His lips missed kissing Dee's; his skin missed being touched by Dee; his eyes missed watching Dee sleep; he missed his name being called out by Dee's voice. And then, Ryo noticed that he had been crying. He hadn't cried ever since the funeral, and even then he forced the tears back, trying to be strong for Carol and Bikky's sake. He stood up and walked over to the bed, where he sat and lied down, his head pounding. He turned over to the nightstand, where he kept a picture of Dee and Bikky on their last summer vacation together. They where on a beach resort in Mexico, with Bikky holding to a surf board on one side, Dee on the other, with his dark glasses on, both of them with a big, wide smile... and Dee's smile was one that said "I love you" in oh-so-many ways. He looked at that picture for hours until he finally decided what he needed to do...

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Es abrir en el alma una herida sin fin,

Es caer a un abismo mirarte partir.

Es nadar contra el mar

Esta vida sin ti.

_It's an opening in the soul a wound with no end _

_It's to fall into an abyss to watch you leave _

_It's to swim against the sea _

_This life without you..._

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"Are you sure you don't want me to go?" asked Bikky, obviously worried as Ryo packed his suitcases with the same care he'd always shown. Ryo shook his head softly and with a polite smile he replied, "I need to do this by myself. Besides, you have school to worry about and a girlfriend to take care of."

"Ryo..."

"Don't worry, Bikky. I'll be fine, honest. Call you when I get there?"

"'Kay..."

The trip to the airport was nice. Bikky kept insisting if he needed him to tag along, Ryo kept telling him that it wasn't necessary. Carol would meet them at the airport, but somehow she never showed up. No time to wait for her now... Bikky and Ryo said their good-byes with a hug and a hair-toss, and then again, waving good-bye from the plane's gateway. Bikky stood by the big window that made it possible to look at the runway, wondering if this feeling he had inside was going to cease any time soon.

(Tappiti - tappiti - tap!)

"BIKKY!"

He turned around. Carol came running up to him.

"Carol!"

"Where's Ryo?" she asked a bit out of breath, looking around, "Did I miss him? Oh please tell me I didn't miss him!"

"If I did, I would be lying. You missed 'im, you missed 'im good" Bikky replied pointing to the about-to-take-off plane in the runway.

"Oh rats!" she sounded disappointed, "I really wanted to say good-bye..."

"He knew. He told me to say good-bye to you. Besided, he'll be back in two weeks. You can welcome him back with much more energy and maybe a big bash of balloons and flowers..." he placed an arm around his girlfriend and she leaned over towards him, embracing him as well.

"If he _does_ come back," muttered Carol, looking away at the plane. Bikky turned surprised to see her, but just as soon, he too turned away.

So... he wasn't the only one who felt it too?

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Yo si creo que mal nos podría caer,

Olvidarnos que aún este amor puede ser.

I do believe that it might be wrong for us

To forget that still this love can be...

Mentira, que el amor se nos fue de la piel, es mentira

Que los besos no saben a miel, es mentira

Que mi cuerpo te enfría,

Que la magia termina,

Me sabe a mentira.

Mentira, que lo bueno algún día se acaba es mentira,

Que el adiós es volver a nacer, es mentira..  
Que tus ojos se olvidan,

Que la fe es como un barco tirado en la orilla.

Juro que es, mentira.

_Lies, that love has gone from our skin it's a lie _

_That kisses don't taste like honey it's a lie _

_That my body turns you cold _

_That the magic is over _

_To me it tastes like a lie..._

Lies, that all good things end one day it's a lie 

_That good-bye is to be born again it's a lie _

_That your eyes can be forgotten _

_That faith is like a ship that's still on the beach _

_I swear that's a lie...  
_  
-- Gilberto Santa Rosa "Mentira"

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	2. English Tea

Russian Blue

by Rainy

edited by Nariel

DISCLAIMER: I do not own FAKE. It is property and creation of Sanami Matoh. Other characters are my own creation. The song here is called "Lost in You", and it's sung by Chris Gaines.

I would like to thank Nariel for being such an ortography nazi. I am the same when it comes to Spanish, so... don't worry. You are not alone...

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Chapter Two

London weather wasn't exactly the kind of thing you would want if you would want to get over depression, even though it's very soothing and at some point relaxing. When Ryo got there it _was_ raining, the sky was a dark gray shade that expressed his exact sentiments at this particular moment in his life. He felt a little guilty about leaving Bikky and Carol behind, but they were old enough to be on their own for a little while (and besides, it wasn't as if they couldn't take good care of themselves, you know?) Meantime, Ryo thanked the clerk and carried his bag up the stairs of that nice little hotel in London.

Nothing fancy. It was more like a vacation location where people could spend some relaxing time. Ryo though the place was just what he needed to get some things straight in his mind. He needed... a walk...

The streets of London resembled those of New York in ways Ryo couldn't put in exact words, yet knew well enough not to go and experience the full length of them. He stopped at a little pub where he find it hard to hear himself think over the loud TV that showed the soccer game and made people there go rowdy every time someone touched the darn ball.

"You alright, mate?" the bartender asked him.

"Yeah... fine," Ryo muttered, standing up and walking out without even touching his beer, but paying for it nonetheless.

Gods! This being alone thing wasn't really working out as he expected! All he was doing was thinking of Dee. At least at work he had something to distract him for a while - and at home, Bikky and Carol made sure he had little time to start feeling as shitty as he felt as he sat down at the park bench.

The man standing on the street light just a couple of feet from where he was and he caused an immediate reaction in Ryo. He'd noticed him when he arrived, he just didn't _noticed_ him well enough to see that this guy had the exact same height as Dee...

He was wearing a long black-leather overcoat that seemed to be dragging at his feet. He was leaning against the light, his head slightly down, smoking his cigarette as the soft smoke came out and made imaginary-like figures in patterns unknown still. His hair was tied back in a little ponytail, black as night itself when there is no moon. Ryo just sat there, looking directly at this stranger. For a minute he wanted to believe that it was Dee, looking mockingly cool as always. But Dee had been dead for a year or so - more, if you count the seconds he'd gone, like Ryo did. Just as he got up and was going to approach this stranger - for unknown reasons, even to him - the guy threw his cigarette to the floor and walked away. Ryo tried (oh god he tried!) to follow, but the stranger walked to the street and called out for a cab. Ryo was left there, alone, staring at the direction the cab took, wondering if his intuition, as well as his heart, was lying to him once again.

No. This had been real. Ryo'd have sworn that when he took the cab his face was exactly as he remembered Dee´s. But then again, heart and fate have that nagging little thing of making you see ghosts when you most need it and somehow this ghost was almost telling him it was time to let go. At least that's how Ryo felt when he got to his hotel room and stared at the ceiling from the comfort of his own bed.

Tomorrow - he told himself - he would go out... and buy some tea...

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The store was little, yet was nice to the eyes. One of those "you can only get it here" stores where there are a lot of things you don't really need but you just got to have (like those knifes that never rust or that thing where you put the egg in and then you put it in the microwave and it makes perfect eggs? Yeah, those kinds of things) and among those lots and lots of things there were tea boxes, all flavors, all brands. There where green, cinnamon, five flower... all the tea that you little heart could desire.

How did Ryo came to this place? Funny you should ask. The hotel manager was very helpful in that aspect: convinced that Ryo needed to get out more (he´d been locked up in that room for two days now, and if you´re going on vacation you might as well go and enjoy it, not be cooped-up in a tiny little room) and so he made the comment that a nice big little store was located just a couple of blocks down the road from the hotel, and it was maybe a good idea if Ryo would go down there, walked a little, get some fresh air...

Ryo thought it was a good idea too...

Granted, he had told himself he would go out and buy some tea (Carol had been nagging him about the subject right before he left and right after he announced he was going to London aka Tea Capitol of the World) the next day after he saw Dee´s so-called ghost... but he hadn´t been just in the right mood to go, you know?

It felt good to feel the air touching his skin, to see the people. He even felt cheery after a while. The store made it all better once he was in. His only thoughts at the moment were if to get the all cinnamony one or to get a more classical tea, like the one that had a very cheesy box with the England flag and a portrait of the Queen drinking the stuff. At the end, he decided to take both. There wasn´t a single person at the cash register, which, you had to admit, was a pretty darn old one, but in a sense it made it all the more cozier.

"Jus´ a minute!" said a male voice under the counter. Ryo leaned foward to see who it was all stuffed in there and was a little surprised when the guy just popped right up and was just a couple of inches from his face. The more surprising thing was that this guy was the same one he saw at the park that night. This... _guy_...

... looked _exactly_ like Dee...

"´Alo?" the other one said, looking strangely at Ryo, who was looking pretty much shocked and took a while before reacting, "Will tha´ be all?" the nice man asked when Ryo handed over the two boxes of tea. Ryo didn´t realize whether he nodded or just looked stupidly at the guy, but one thing was certain of and this was that he guy started to feel a little harassed by the blond.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Ye-yes... yes... umm... ho-how much?"

"Tha´ll be twenty pounds..."

Ryo paid up and the transaction was completed. He had his two boxes of tea nicely in a white plastic bag, and as he turned around, he wondered...

"Excuse me..." he said. The cashier looked up at him.

"Umm... Hi... Umm... Will... Will it be alright if I could ask you your name?"

"My name?" the other looked puzzled, "My name is Gaiev..."

'Gaiev, not Dee' thought the blond as he nodded and headed outside. He didn´t even noticed the streets as he made his way back to the hotel... or at least he _thought_ he was going back, because the truth of the matter was that he´d taken the wrong way, and he only took notice when he realized he´d been walking waaaay too long...

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	3. Back to Good

Russian Blue by Rainy

Edited by Nariel

Comments: This chapter is another one Nariel has edited for me… Hah! I have never realized how many grammatical mistakes I had up until now. Okay, on with the story. The song here is "Back to Good" by Matchbox 20. Fake and all its characters are creations of Sanami Matoh. Other characters and situations are created by me.

Chapter 3

Ryo never thought the sky would look so peaceful. Not like the one he found the last day he spent in England. He almost felt sorry to leave, now that he found the peace in his heart he'd come here to seek. It was as if Dee had given him permission to live his life once more (or at least he felt like that, not as if it was actually true) and Ryo was now on the edge of a new awaiting - especially when tea was so damn good.

Yeah, right -- tea... 

"Oi," the cute cashier had said when he looked at the tea Ryo took on the second day he arrived at the store. It was about five or six boxes of it, "You like English tea?"

Ok, so it wasn't _exactly_ the tea. The cashier had found it a bit odd that Ryo came in to the store three times in the last two days just to buy tea. He figured that he had to be some sort of loony who really _really_ enjoyed his tea (much like his uncle Berny really, _really_ enjoyed watching those pictures of naked ladies, but we won't get in to that now, will we?) The store owner (a small man with long nose and a voice that could easily be mistaken by that of a twelve-year-old girl) had offered Ryo a discount card, yet the half Japanese-American man declined the offering with a polite smile and a slight blush that was not at obvious as him returning that same afternoon and being disappointed when Gaiev - the cashier - was not there.

"This morning was 'is last shift," the girl behind the counter said with a very nice English accent, "He said something 'bout him and his sister getting a new flat somewhere -- never said where... or maybe I just wasn't paying attention to what he was saying. He annoys me, to be honest."

At that moment he felt as if he'd lost Dee for a second time. Well, not really. Hard to explain. He _knew_ it wasn't Dee, but he looked so much like him - almost as if Dee has a long-lost twin brother who was waiting for an Oprah reunion show or something... you get the idea. Either way, he felt bad. He felt bad because he felt as if he was betraying Dee's memory in some way. He felt bad because he was now making comparisons between the two when in fact they had nothing in common. He felt worse when he saw that the only reason he kept coming back was to see this guy and that there was a probability that this guy (Gaiev) had gotten freaked out by the loony American boy who kept staring at him. And then he felt embarrassed when he saw he'd been standing there for an hour, and the girl behind the counter was probably calling an ambulance for the insane asylum.

He just ran.

He felt silly when he closed the door behind him, and half laughed at himself for being such a ten-year-old who pulls the pony tail of the girl he likes and then runs. Yet his laughter stopped when he realized that he couldn't see that boy again and was now left with the (void?) knowledge that there was a "Dee-double" out there...

What was with his obsession with this guy!

It was a sight for sore eyes to see Bikky and Carol again. Ryo never thought just how much he'd missed them until he saw them there, at the airport, with banners that said "WELCOME BACK, RYO" and all. Caron seemed especially happy with the tons and tons (well, not TONS, but one gets the idea) of tea Ryo brought back. Bikky just seemed happy to see him again, so fresh and renewed. All the way home he kept talking about how nice the hotel was, how nice the city was, how nice the tea store was, how nice...

How nice...

"We have new neighbors," Carol commented as they were unpacking when they got home.

Home.

"Really?" Ryo asked politely. He really enjoyed the idea of new people in the building.

"Um-hum. They're not from around here. I've only met the girl. She's quite nice. Her name is Ericka and she moved here just a few days ago, from England as a matter of fact..."

"England? What's she doing all the way here?"

"She says she works as a consultant for some company. I really never got it. But she came here with her brother and a friend - I think it's her boyfriend... But I haven't seen them..."

It was late now. The streets**'** bright colors reminded him that New York never slept, and so he didn't feel too guilty when he walked out of the apartment to smoke a cigarette on the steps and see the nocturnal life that crawled out after ten. Bikky and Carol had begun to be lead that kind of life and so they went out for a movie. Nothing fancy. Ryo wondered when was the last time he'd smoked as peacefully as of this moment - in fact, when did he start smoking! He gave a smirk suspiciously close to laughter at the thought of his mother if she found out that her son was smoking. He wondered what his parents would be like if they had lived to this day. He wondered what that rancid smell was, coming out of the corner of the trashcan in front of the steps. He wondered if he wanted to know. Not really.

"Pardon me, bu' do you have a light?" he heard a voice behind him. He turned around and stood in shock. He was speechless as Gaiev looked at him in wonder and waved a hand in front of him, "'Allo? Did you hear me? DO - YOU - HAVE - A - LIGHT?" he paused every word. Automatically, Ryo gave him his cigarette and Gaiev took it fast, wanting to light his own smoke as fast as he could and get the hell away from this nut job before something odd or bad happened, "Thank you," he said as he walked by, returning the cigarette. Ryo only watched him walk when all of a sudden, he heard a female voice screaming from the third floor...

"GAIEV! DON'T FORGET TO BRING MILK FOR ALEX!"

"I WON'T," he heard Gaiev reply as he walked away along the streets. So... He lived in the same building? He moved THERE!

Ryo's heart could sing...

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	4. Dorian

Russian Blue

by Rainy

edited by Nariel

Comments by adorable writer: Yes, I am adorable and you know it! Okay, this is chapter 4, as edited by Nariel who BTW has been doing a great job at this. The chapter's title is Dorian, as I did not think of any song that would actually go with it. Sanami Matoh is the owner of Fake, a manga that this fic relates to. I am the owner of other characters and my own little piece of room emporium.

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Chapter 4

Returning to work was a bit harder than he thought after the long absence. But his friends seemed sympathetic when they saw him again, mostly welcoming him back and giving him pats on the back in a manner of manly comradely. He was grateful for this. But then again, it did seem a bit lonely, his desk now.

Nothing had been touched. It was as if they were expecting him to show up any given day. Ok, so he was being overdramatic – he'd only been away for a couple of weeks… But somehow he'd expected a drama, kind of like the one he saw on that Mexican movie, when these people's life turned around a car accident and there was this big dog that this guy fought in illegal dog fights so he could get his brother's girl…

"You're a lose cannon, Randy!" Berkeley would have screamed at him, "You go away all these days and still expect to have a job? Get the hell out of my office!"

Oh gods, he was turning delusional… 

"Yo' Ryo…"

He turned. Drake was half-stepping in to the little office, "Rose wants to see us, A.S.A.P." Everyone at the precinct was there. There were some snapshots of people projected on the wall as Berkeley spoke.

"We have a new threat, kiddies," Rose spoke in his usual undertone, "The group is called The Choir. This is a band of organized crime operating in most cities in the US and now they have come here. We've managed to get some inside info about them, but nothing is certain yet. These are some of the people that we presume are in The Choir, not head honchos, but we can sense that they know something from the inside... Look at them closely, people: we're gonna be hearing about this bunch for a while..."

They were all so young! Ryo couldn't help but to feel some sort of paternal anguish just to think that maybe the eldest of them was about Bikky's age. He thought of all the times he'd scolded Bikky for mischievous behavior, like when he used to steal bike wheels or when he organized the young thieves and thug-wannabes for the "five finger discount" at the local stores run by elderly people. He half felt glad that he found Carol and that he was now - you could say - a man of good.

Then, his attention was drawn elsewhere…

"Good day to you all," said a very polite male voice with a soft accent that wasn't very clear from which part of the world it was. Ryo's eyes collided with those of the young man standing in front of the staff, violet eyes that seemed to be digging deep in to his soul as they too found Ryo's and stayed there for as long as they could. He was a bit taller than Ryo, with short reddish hair that looked silky and shiny. He had two piercings, one of them being a golden earring hanging from his left lower ear lobe, and the other in his right eyebrow, smaller than the ear one. His skin was freakishly white, with fine and delicate features as if he was drawn by an animation artist. He looked thin, skinny you could say, wearing baggy clothes that did nothing to hide this fact; long-sleeved white shirt that had its sleeves pulled up, a tie that was half made-half hanging loose, casual black pants with black shiny shoes, and his badge was hanging from one side of his pants, along the edge.

... and then, Berkeley spoke again...

"He'll be joining our little party from now on. Mclean, this is your new partner..."

Partner? Ryo's eyes widened towards Berkeley as the others started to leave the office. Rose pushed his glasses upward in that cynical, know-it-all attitude he always carried around,

"Something wrong, Ryo?" he asked with that stupid little smirk.

"Partner?" Ryo's voice sounded as if somebody else was speaking in his behalf (his heart, his subconscious not wanting another partner who wasn't Dee maybe?) and Ryo himself felt ashamed once the words came out, but it was too late to back them down now.

"Of course. You didn't think I would leave you solo, now did you?" Rose said, crossing his arms in front, expecting any reply from Ryo.

Well, yeah... "No... I guess not." Liar!

"Good. Show the newbie around, keep him up-to-date with everything going on here... If you have any problems you know where to find me..."

They were left alone. The two of them. Ryo felt like this guy was an usurpation, wanting to get into Dee's place. Ok, so maybe it was about god-damned time he got over Dee's departing, but still... still... you know?

"Awkward silence..." the other spoke in a soothing voice. Ryo's attention was brought back to him.

"Indeed... Umm.. sorry, I didn't catch your name..."

"Dorian Reeve... Mr...?"

"Randy... well, actually everybody here calls me by my Japanese name, Ryo; Ryo Mclean..."

"Ryo..."

"You from around here?" Ryo asked as he opened the door to lead the way out. They where soon walking along the precinct's corridors, Dorian walking along side of Ryo.

"No. Actually I'm from the port of Arcangues, northern Russia..."

"Funny, you don't sound Russian," said Ryo with doubtfulness in his eyes.

"I lost most of my accent after living here for twenty years, comrade." he said in a phony Russian accent that made both men smile, "I get that a lot... Gets a little tiresome after a while, everybody asking 'why don't you have an accent'... I moved to the States when I was a child... It's not that big of a deal. So I'm not your typical Russian boy with a funny accent and the funny fur hat... so what? I'm still a darn good cop..."

I bet you're not as good as Dee though...

"I hear your former partner got shot a year ago..."

They were now outside, with their shift ending just about ten minutes ago. Dorian took out a cigarette and proceeded to smoke as Ryo looked at him with upset curiosity. The snow covered the New York scenario as winter was refusing to go away still, making it as cold as Dorian's attitude.

"A year and three months coming this week, yes... He did. He was... he was a very good man..." he said pulling on his jacket and his breath could be seen thanks to the freezing cold weather. Dorian was wearing a long black coat that didn't seem to bring much protection against the cold, but that didn't seem to be bothering Dorian and maybe this cold attitude was the thing bothering Ryo at that particular time, "Well, see ya' tomorrow!" he said before taking a few steps to walk away.

"A very important man if his memory gets that fire burning in your eyes... I bet dear Dee was more than just your partner, _a_?" Ryo stopped cold and turned to see him, surprised by his comment, this lovely shade of doubtfulness in his face. Dorian smiled wickedly, looking straight ahead as the smoke drew patterns that just made him look even more eccentric, "Yes, I bet he was. He always preferred them blonds..."

"How do you -- Did you know Dee?"

"If I told you that I didn't I would be lying." Dorian gave a smoke and sounded nostalgic as he seemed to be carried away by his memories, "Yes, I knew lovely, hard-headed, sincere-to-God, passionate Dee..." he looked at the half-burned cigarette with this look in his eyes that said more than the words he spoke, "I knew that bastard well enough not to be sorry that he's dead..." then he threw away the cigarette and began to walk away. Ryo just stood there, half in shock, half in anger, and by the time he wanted to go after Dorian, he'd already vanished.

Dee had known Dorian? Ryo was well aware that Dee had had a few lovers before him, but he spoke of them in some point of their relationship... yet Dorian... He never heard Dee speak of Dorian in any of their conversations... ever... And if Dorian was a cop that meant that maybe him and Dee had worked together before... or maybe met at the academy... No matter... He was going to see Dorian next day at work and he was gonna have a nice long conversation with the newbie boy.

And as his mind was busy thinking through all these scenarios, he noticed the snow flake that had landed on the tip of his nose and turned up to see the rest of them drop down in a soft and quiet symphony.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow…

-----------------------------------

Thank you Nariel for the Russian tip! And thank you for all your little snips of good fortune all over this edition!  I am keeping the best ones for myself!


	5. Love Song

Russian Blue

by Rainy

AUTHOR's NOTES:  Hi! welcome to a new chapter. Ok. So -- so far the reviews have been good. Happy go joy joy! What's gonna happen? It's for me to know... and you guys to read on. I am now at this point in my life in a very "ñya!" mood. Happy joy joy.

DISCLAIMER:  Fake belongs to Sanami Matoh. Other characters and story line is my own twisted creation. The song is called "Love Song", as performed by Tesla.  I hope you enjoy.

-----------------------------------

Chapter 5

Hello. My name is Randy Mclean. Well, actually everybody at the precinct calls me Ryo because that's my japanese name. I'm part japanese. Not like, half japanese, just - just part. You can tell because my eyes are pitch black... or at least that's what everybody else tells me...

I'm here because Berkeley told me to be here. Berkeley Rose is my immediate boss, so I kinda' hafta' obey what he tells me, for my own good, even though honestly I don't know why I'm even here. I guess is one of those things that are way out of your control and there is nothing else you can do about it because -- well, just because life is like that, you know? A series of random events that you cannot control, no matter how hard you try...

I guess Bikky must me rubbing in on me... 

Bikky? He's my son. Kind of. He's not really my son in the strict sense of the word, but I love him as one, nonetheless. His girlfriend, Carol, is also what I call "one of my children". Twisted, hum? It's a long story, but it can all be summarized in to the fact that I love the both of them and I wish them the best life can offer. They're living together; they got a nice little place in Queens. Yes, I know, "It's Queens!" but it's nice. At least it doesn't smell like a dog died there and was left to rot, like so many other places I know. It's even in a nice neighborhood... so rare now a days. I dunno. Maybe the fact that I'm a police officer has made me skeptic about lots of things, being having a nice neighborhood one of them. Or maybe.... maybe is the fact that I just don't seem to find "nice" anywhere these days...

Dee would of made a sarcastic comment by now...
    
    _So you think that it's over,_
    
    _That your love has fin'lly reached the end._
    
    _Any time you call, night or day,_
    
    _I'll be right there for you if you need a friend._
    
    _It's gonna take a little time._
    
    _Time is sure to mend your broken heart._
    
    _Don't you even worry, pretty darlin'._
    
    _I know you'll find love again. Yeah._

Dee? Dee Laytner was my partner, in all sense of the word "partner". I met him the first day I began working at the 27th precinct and haven't looked back since. Is as if there was nothing before that day and everything came afterward... up until they shot him. Dee. He got shot. Life hasn't been quite the same after that. Not that I'm one of those depressive people who sit in their room, hugging something tightly and crying, and rocking myself to some sort of comfort zone. I try to go on but it's very hard. I miss Dee. I miss him very much. I loved Dee. Very much so, yes. He was the point and after, if you must say something about him. I remember that he used to hum this little tune every time he saw me depressed or down, trying to lift my spirits up - and you must admit, it's very funny to listen to a grown man humming the Sponge Bob song just to make you smile. Funny and sweet at the same time. But he got shot. Life hasn't been quite the same after that. It's like waking up one morning and realizing that the one person you revolve your entire life and love around is no longer there, and no longer will be there... ever. It's a hard pill to swallow. Look at me: it has been over a year since Dee left... 
    
    _Love is all around you. Yeah_
    
    _Love is knockin' outside your door._
    
    _Waitin' for you is this love made just for two_
    
    _Keep an open heart and you'll find love again, I know._

I took a trip to England. Nothing fancy, I just wanted to get out of the ordinary life I lived. So I took the trip to England to relax and think about stuff -- LOTS of stuff. Ended up with nothing but another bag to add to my excess baggage I was already carrying. No - wait. I did find something very _very_ interesting on my trip there. I found a boy. A very nice boy. He looks exactly like Dee. Well, maybe not - his hair is darker... and his eyes are a bit more clearer... and he's a bit shorter than Dee... just s itsy bitsy tinny thingie. And his voice is deeper. Just a tad deeper. He also has an accent. And he's paler than Dee. Maybe it's the London weather. His name is Gaiev. He worked at a tea store that was near the hotel I stayed in. I saw him by casualty on a park. I was just there, you know? And it was as if the ghost of Dee had come back to give me a ray of hope. And then I found him the next day, on the tea shop... I don't know, I've must of look totally off when he asked me what was wrong... but... I just couldn't stop thinking that he was Dee, and that he had come back in a way - a sort of twisted, sick, pathetic way, but a way nonetheless. He told me his name because I asked him when all I really wanted to ask him was if he wanted to spend the night back at my room (giggles) yeah, that desperate.  

I got back to the States, back to work, back to re-build my life, or at least try to. Bikky and Carol where there to support me, I have people who care about me, see? And I returned to work. Everything was as I've left it. It was hard, returning to the place I knew Dee, the place where I fell in love head over heels for that man. But it was a step that I had to take in order to get my life back, you know? So I did. And the first day back, Berkeley tells me I have a new partner... 

Dorian...

His name is Dorian... And apparently he knew Dee... MY Dee... I mean, I know Dee had his past and all, but... MY Dee... and Dorian seems to hate Dee. It's been a week and I already hate that bastard. Don't get me wrong, he's a pretty good cop, but when it comes to talking about stuff he always brings up the worse in me just by mentioning Dee's name. I don't like Dee's name on his lips. I don't like what Dee's name means in his soul. I don't want to know what Dee and Dorian did or didn't do, what they said or they didn't say.... I don't -- I don't care. All I care is the Dee I knew, the Dee I loved, the Dee that got shot and got torn out of my life forever; the Dee I need at nights when I feel so alone; the Dee that still comes and whispers sweet-nothings in my ear, in my dreams, where he's still there, where nothing has changed, where we're still together, in love, sharing a life that we built for eachother based on the love we had for eachother...

...and sometimes I wonder... 
    
    _Love is all around you._
    
    _Love is knockin' outside your door._
    
    _Waitin' for you is this love made just for two_
    
    _Keep an open heart and you'll find love again, I know._

I wonder if he ever knew just how much I loved him; if I was everything he'd always wanted or always expected of me; I wonder if he ever knew just how many things he represented for me - love, friendship, loyalty, passion, lust, moondance, romance, tenderness, torment, dreams... everything he meant inside and outside my soul, in my life...

_Love will find the way!_

_Darling, love is gonna find the way_

_Find its way back to you!_

God!

I wonder if...

I was wondering if you could tell Dee... just how much I miss him...

_Love will find the way!_

_So look around, _

_Open your eyes and see that..._

"Ryo?" he heard Carol's voice calling from the other side of the door, "Are you okay in there?"

Ryo stood up from the bed and looked in the mirror. He'd been crying and it was just now when he'd noticed it. Gosh! Call the puffy-eyes patrol! He opened the door and there stood a very worried Carol. He smiled.

"Thanks," he said in a soft voice, "I must of dozed off for a while there..."

"Are you okay?" she asked walking right beside him, "You look as if you've been crying, Ryo..."

"I'm okay Carol, don't worry. Where's Bikky?"

"He's got late classes. I told him I would be here... How 'bout tonight we order a pizza and stay in? Sounds good?"

"Sounds good..." he said as he walked over to the coat hanger and took off the coat under a very worried Carol look.

"Where are you going? It's snowing and freezing outside!" she squealed.

"I need to go out and walk a bit", said Ryo putting on gloves, "Don't worry. I'll be back by the time the pizza is here... tell Bikky I don't want fish on my side, ok?"

"Ok... I'll come with you!"

"It's okay," Ryo spoke as he tried to look natural, a thing that was failing miserably, "Don't worry... Stay here in case Bikky shows up, m'kay?"

And with this said, he stepped out.

_Love is gonna find the way!_

_Love is gonna..._

_Love is gonna find the way, yeah!_

As Ryo walked along the snowy streets, he gave few notice to what exactly was going on around him. He kept thinking about that afternoon's visit to the psychologist and how good it was supposed to be feeling after saying all those things he'd been keeping inside, but somehow he felt as if nothing had changed. At least that would keep Berkeley happy for a 

while. Right? 

_Love will find the way!_

_Love song find the way back to you... yeah..._

He wasn't okay, no matter how hard he tried to convince people that he was, he knew deep inside that he was missing  a big part of himself, as if he wasn't finished or something. Something inside him felt empty and that emptiness was the thing that was making him lose edge on the things that really matter... and he knew it stopped mattering when Dee was taken from him, when Dee's life slipped through his fingers and in the process he took his life as well! 

'Dee got shot... and life... hasn't been quite the same since.... he...he never even got to say good-bye...'

_I know... _

The moment was like a slow motion movie... Soft snow came down just as the wind blew a bit harder... Ryo looked up at the exact same moment as the person walking towards him did... 

... Gaiev...

_I know..._

Seconds that just froze... Both souls stood there, facing eachother, lost in eachother's gaze, as if their silence was enough to speak volumes about their life, about their loneliness, about their love. And before they both knew it, their hearts had painted a very peculiar scene:  a scene where they both embraced and kissed eachother, and this heartache's imagination. They – the bodies...

_I know... _

...on the other hand...

_I know..._

... had long chosen to walk away, leaving the empty space behind them untouched....

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Ta-dhá! Likey new chapter? The song was a real inspirational tool... I like it very much and as I was riding the bus on my way home from school (I am a biology teacher now too!) I was listening to it and the final scene came to my head... and yesterday, as I was burning in fever (I have a cold!) I figure out the entire thing... Funny what delusion comes from sickness... 

------ Review Alert!! ----------

I want to thank all of you who have been nice enough to post a comment on the reviewer. These comments cheer me on like you have no idea. So, I exort you people to keep on posting them (good, bad, cheers, flames, whatever is good!)

Megamie: Hah! Ok. It's better. I'm glad you're liking the story so far... This newbie guy IS going to stir things up, very, VERY much so in deed... Stay tooned!

Mistress of the Darkness: Well, he had to die in order to get this story going, nee? I like Dee, I do. Dee is one of my favorite Fake characters, and yes, you are correct, they are both very cute, aren't they? I hope these updates are keeping you happy. 

Eeyatoe: I laughed so hard at the "DEATH TO DORIAN!" line. It was a nervous – cracking smile. This means you like it! And as you can see now, Gaiev is around... and maybe more than you'd expect him to be. Yes. Gaiev is an S.O.B. 

Cole's Lover: Yes. Ryo does need somebody to love and to love him back if Dee is no longer there. 


	6. Unforgetful You

Russian Blue

by Rainy

AUTHOR's NOTES: Hi! So, all day I've been plotting Russian Blue. I tell you, this would be a whole lot easier if I had someone to chitchat the plots with other than myself. I've started to look weird walking around town just blabbering things to myself in english (for those of you who still dunno, I live in Mexico) – not many people know english around here, so they think I'm being possessed by some evil demon... or something... it's actually really funny...

DISCLAIMER: Fake belongs to Sanami Matoh. Other characters and story line is my own twisted creation. The song is called "Unforgetful You", as performed by Jars of Clay (got it from the "Drive me Crazy" soundtrack... never actually seen the movie, but the soundtrack is cool)

-----------------------------------

Chapter 6

"'Allo... got a light?"

Ryo offered Gaiev a lighter so that the English boy would light up his cigarette. It was beginning to be a custom that every afternoon, around six or seven o'clock, Gaiev would come out of the building and find Ryo smoking in the stairway, he'd ask him for a light and then he would carry on. Alexeyena – Gaiev's sister – told Ryo that her brother worked at a pub somewhere in town and that was his usual leaving time. So today, Ryo just figured Gaiev would be on his way to work...

But, alas, Gaiev sat next to Ryo as he gave him back the lighter.

"Thanks," he said. They sat quietly for a couple of minutes. 

"You'll be late," Ryo heard himself say at last. He left like that old lady who lives in a shoe and felt embarrassed to feel Gaiev's surprised look.

"Pardon me?"

"Your job. You'll be late" (for the love of God, shut up! Just shut the hell up!!)

"Oi' Oi'... what's this? Are you keeping tags on me now?" Gaiev sounded almost teasingly.

"N-no... No! Is just that... at this time you always ask me for a light..." (Great! Now you're officially a stalker!) "...and then you go... on to your business, I assume you go to work, right?" Ryo was now officially turning all shades of red. Gaiev took another drag off the cigarette as he was observing Ryo's every move. Ryo shamefully turned to see him, "Right?"

"Aye... I do. But turns out tha' today 's my day off... Tha' and Alexeyena doesn't let me smoke near Alex..."

"The baby?" Ryo sounded more relaxed now.

"Yeah, 'im too..." Gaiev replied with another puff.

"Oh... Not very friends with your sister's husband, hum?"

"Care-taker," Gaiev corrected him properly, "'s very different than the hole husband thing. And no; me an' Ivan aren't the world's greatest friends. Bu' I guess if my sis' loves 'im an' 'e loves my sis' back, I have nothing to complain 'bout... An' you? Livin' with someone?"

"Nope... I live alone, actually..."

"Really?" he seemed surprised, "Hum! I though you lived with tha' blond girl... the very perky one who visits Alexeyena..."

"Oh! You mean Carol? No... no.. She.... err... She's my son's fiancée..."

"You 'ave a son? You're married then?"

"Errr.. no... It's... It's complicated... Bikky... the-the blond kid with dark skin? Yeah, he's my adoptive son... and Carol... well, Carol is kinda' my adoptive daughter... she always looked up to me as a father figure... it's..."

"Complicated..."

"Exactly..."

"But you live alone then? Not married or anythin'?" asked Gaiev as a faint smirk crossed his lips.

"No! No...." Ryo smiled innocently.

"What you do?"

"Excuse me?"

"Your work. You must work to afford a flat like this one...."

"Oh! Yeah... I'm a cop, actually..."

"Ah! A Police officer! Nice! You get good pay 'ere in the States or is it the same crummy job as in Britain?"

"I don't know... Haven't really put much thought in to it..."

"Must be crummy... 'elping all those people an' still not get good pay... Can... Can I ask you something? I mean, if it's not much bother..."

"Not at all..."

"Ok... ok, two questions. First, what's your name?"

"Oh... Randy... Randy Mclean... But you can call me Ryo..."

"Ryo... nice name. Japanese?"

"Yes... middle name, actually... Next question?"

"Well… I don´t ´spose you would want to go out for coffee or tea... or even a pint sometime..."

"Su-sure..."

"Sure what?"

"I would love... to go out... sometime..."

Gaiev stood up, "Well then, let's go!"

"What?! Now!" Ryo sounded almost frantic, making Gaiev laugh.

"Well bloody yeah! I know this great place..." he said as Ryo got up, "A friend of mine works there, maybe you've met 'im... 'i's name's Gaiev..."

"You're taking me to your WORK to drink coffee..."

"'ey! It's the best bloody coffee you'll 'ave... Besides, I know all the staff – you're guaranteed a 100% piss-an'-spit free coffee..." Gaiev gave a mischievous smile and a wink.

"Wow... They spit and pee in your... coffee?!..." Ryo looked at him with non-believer eyes. Gaiev turned silently.

"Come now..." he said. Ryo walked right beside him (God... remind me NEVER to drink coffee in a public place EVER again...)

The Lemon Tree was a small café where chic people tended to meet and gossip about their favorite celebrity or their least-favorite person. It was a place where retro and modern art collided in harmonious collages of music, paintings and very little tables with very little chairs that made your ass look gigantic in them (RAINY'S NOTES: Don't you just hate these places??) But you could smell the coffee a mile away. That delicious aroma of pure grain coffee just being served hot, melting every evil doing away... The sight for poor musicians who made an ends meat by singing latin-american trova music that went a little something like Pablo Milanés or Silvio Rodríguez, heck! Even Oscar Chavez once in a while. A guitar and a mike, that's all. Private booths where in the back, away from all the gossiping, away from the little chairs. These booths had wide ample spaces with not too wide (but enough to place coffee mugs and beer bottles) where one could spread at everything one has (RAINY'S NOTES: Or as we say in Mexico, "Donde uno se puede estirar a sus anchas"!) very comfty... indeed...

"Hi, welcome to The Lemon Tree..." the waiter said in a very cheesy english accent before seeing Gaiev waving at him with a big smirk on is face and Ryo just looking around in awe, "Gaiev! You dog! I though it was your day off!"

"Cut the bloody accent, Devon, you make my people fall in shame!" Gaiev scolded him playfully.

"Sorry," Devon said dropping the British accent, "So, what'll be?"

"We want a booth"

"Ok... Yo'!" he shouted to another waiter, "Number 37 here!"

"What?! You're not giving me that shitty booth, Devon! I want number 32..."

"It's gonna cost ya'..."

"Name the price..."

"Shift... Friday AND Saturday night..."

"Done!"

"Yo'! Rodney! Never mind!"

Devon took them over to a very nice booth, the farthest one from the crowd, and was about to leave the menu when Ryo said, "Just-just coffee, thanks..."

"Oh... you?"

"Same as always..."

"Ok, so coffee and.. coffee..."

Devon left. Ryo frowned. "Mr 'aikes is british," Gaiev explained, "And so, 'e wanted to 'ire only british waiters... bu' that was kind of impossible, so 'e instructed 'is staff to speak in a british accent that just... it gets in my nerves sometimes... Devon is one o' me closest mates..."

"Oh.... It's... nice... very... chic..."

"I like the music, though. Can't understand a bloody word they're sayin' bu' I like the way it sounds..."

"Yeah..."

At that moment, Devon brought one gigantic cup of coffee and a bottle of beer for Gaiev. "Enjoy," he said before leaving to tend another table. Ryo wasn't quite sure how to drink that gigantic cup but eventually he got the hand of it. 

"So…" Gaiev spoke after taking a sip of his beer, "Can I ask you another question?"

"You know, this makes three to you, none for me…"

"You can ask me anything…"

"You go first, since you seem so eager to know things about me…" smiled Ryo taking a sip of his coffee.

"Why are you always sad?" Gaiev asked with a quiet, soothing voice. Ryo looked at Gaiev with wide eyes but immediately looked away, biting his lip.

"Sad?" he asked.

"Well... The firs' time I saw you... you where sitting on that park... looking so sad..." Gaiev began to speak, making Ryo look up to see him again. Gaiev was looking down on the table, playing with the bottle´s tag, looking for more courage to say what he wanted to say, "An' I though something really bad must o' happened to you to look as sad as you looked that day... I wanted to talk to you... bu' I just couldn't bring myself up to do it.... and so I left... I was amazed to see you again at the tea shop, and even more amazed when you asked me name... bu' that sadness hasn't disappeared at all, has it? It's still there, an' I was wonderin' what was it..."

Ryo smirked delightfully, "Gaiev..." and at the sound of his name, Gaiev turned to face him, drawing a nice smile. God! He had a beautiful smile! "I – I was going through a rough time.... I... I still am..."

"Want to talk 'bout it?"

"I lost my partner... Dee... he was my partner..."

"Oh..." Gaiev frowned, "He was a police officer too, then?"

"Yeah. He was. He was also my lover..."

"Lover?" Gaiev's eyes widened.

"The first one I seriously had..." said Ryo thinking back, "My first experience with another guy... and for a while I thought it would last forever but... well... he died..."

"Oh... Good reasons to be sad... How long was this?"

"A year and a half ago," Ryo half laughed at how pathetic that sounded.

"Not long, then..." Gaiev said.

"Not long."

"So I guess I would be very inappropriate if I where to tell you..."

"Tell me what?"

"That the first time I saw you I thought you where adorable..."

"Really?" Ryo smiled and blushed slightly, "And...I'm not anymore?"

"No, you're not adorable anymore..."

"How come?" he sounded almost disappointed to hear this.

"Because you're bloody gorgeous..." and the lustful way he said it made Ryo go from red to magenta in one second. He looked down on his coffee and giggled softly.

"Thanks," he managed to say.

They spent the rest of the evening talking about small stuff like why Gaiev despised his brother-in-law ('es such a whinny lit' american boy… no offense…), why Ryo despised his new partner (He's so cocky!) and how much the both of them found that Devon's british accent only made him sound gay-er… if that was possible…

"Never though it was, bu'… it is…"

It was already about 11:30 when they decided to call it and return home. They walked slowly, as if wanting to make the evening last longer than it should. Gaiev told him about his life in England: about his first boyfriend and how a pathetic break-up that turned out to be; about Loreen, his first girlfriend, and how this girl only made him decide that he was definitely sticking to boys; about his school days and how he'd wish he'd finished high-school before he came to the States for the first time to reunite with his mother, a move that was very much a mistake since the woman didn't want anything to do with him once she found that he was dating a nice boy instead of a nice girl (you know, like a "normal" kid) Ryo on his behalf told him about his parents and how they died when he was 18; about the time when he decided he wanted to be a cop and about his first day at the 27th precinct, when he met Dee, and his life changed forever.

As they approached Ryo's door, Gaiev sighed, "I jus' figured out something…"

"What?"

"This 'as been our first date…"

"No," Ryo laughed softly, "I think this was more as a reunion to talk about times gone by… not a date…"

"No, you're right. It takes more for it to be a date, right?"

"Right…"

"Let's make it one, then…" Gaiev said, reaching out to touch Ryo´s chin with this fingers, as delicately as if he were to touch a flower, raising Ryo´s head to face him, to meet with the lovable blond´s eyes and kiss him without permission, without hesitation, leaning forward, pressing Ryo's body against the wall and his own, and it was Ryo who broke it, turning his head to one side.

"S-sorry," Gaiev apologized, steping back and turning his head towards his own appartment door, feeling almost embarrased for what he did.

"It's getting late," he murmured with a shadowy expression on his face. Gaiev nodded.

"G'night…" he said before walking over to his apartment, without even looking at Ryo's face again. Ryo stood there until Gaiev dissappeared behind his door. As soon as he did, he slipped down to the floor, touching his lips briefly, still half in shock for what just happened with the kiss…and Gaiev…and his heart throbbing…and his lips burning…

… and smiled…

-------------------

Next chapter! Dorian comes back! (yes, I know you love to hate the guy) Look it over! Please review!!!

al36662@alumnos.uacj.mx


	7. I'm Moving On

Russian Blue  
  
by Rainy  
  
AUTHOR's NOTES: Cool! People are really starting to get in to this story. This   
  
is good for me! It's really exciting that people are actually leaving reviews!   
  
To tell the truth I've had this idea for a while but I always said, "Naaa! It   
  
ain't no good!" Thank you guys for proving me wrong! I try... This chapter is   
  
based on a dream I once had... kind of... I just adapted the characters. Hope   
  
you enjoy!  
  
DISCLAIMER: Fake belongs to Sanami Matoh. Other characters and story line is my   
  
own twisted creation. The song this chapter is inspired upon is called "I'm   
  
moving on", as performed by Rascal Flatts (a country band). Enjoy!   
  
-----------------------------------   
  
Chapter 7  
  
He could still feel it...  
  
The heat on his lips, the pounding of his heart. It was as if the seconds had   
  
frozen in time and Ryo was left with this... this feeling of Gaiev still there,   
  
kissing him deeply, making him feel things he hadn't felt since... well... since   
  
Dee.  
  
He felt badly for this. He felt he was betraying Dee in some way. It was not a   
  
happy feeling, I can tell you that. It's a feeling of emptyness but at the same   
  
time fufillment of this regreat that maybe. maybe it's all a dream and that   
  
you're gonna wake up and find that you're still as loyal as the dog next door.   
  
It's kinda' weird, I know - but it's the truth.  
  
He couldn't allow himself to fall in love.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
Ryo turned to see the figure who was sitting in the desk in front of him. He   
  
realiced he was at the precinct, day-dreaming, but he never expected to see Dee   
  
there, looking at him with this I-know-what-you're-thinking expression. Ryo was   
  
shocked, yet there was a sense of soothing that he couldn't get rid of.  
  
"Dee?"  
  
"Well, I'm not Mother."  
  
"What--? You're dead!"  
  
"Sheah! You're telling me! First day here and I find out I have to do some kind   
  
of social service to the community so I can get my wings! I tell you - heaven is   
  
becoming as burochratic as Earth. The worse part is that you can't smoke up   
  
here."  
  
"What_are_you_doing_here?"  
  
"I came to see you"  
  
"Me?"  
  
"I'm sick and tired of this vibe I'm getting from you ever since I kicked the   
  
bucket" Dee leaned forward and twisted Ryo's nose in a playful manner, making   
  
Ryo twich and giggle, "Seriously man, what's up?"  
  
"Nothing, it's just that."  
  
"Nothing? How about that guy. the English one." Ryo turned to see Dee with a   
  
face that doesn't hide guilt while Dee was looking at him with a wicked smirk,   
  
"He is cute, ain't he?"  
  
"He looks like you."  
  
"No he doesn't! I'm cuter! I'm drop-dead gorgeous!... Of course, I did drop   
  
dead, but heck." and Ryo laughed softly.  
  
"You're right. He doesn't look at all like you. He's taller. and thinner."  
  
"So you likey-likey, hum?"  
  
"I - I don't know. I just. Dee. Your body is not even cold yet!"  
  
"Not even --?! It's been a year, Ryo. One year and a half already. I think my   
  
body can't get any colder"  
  
"Don't you think I know that?" Ryo snapped back, regreating doing so   
  
immediately. Dee walked to him, knealing in front, taking his hands, touching   
  
his face, "Why you had to die like that? All of a sudden? I - I. I miss you."   
  
Ryo said, his voice choaked with tears that began to roll without him noticing   
  
it untill Dee started to wipe them away with his fingers.  
  
"I miss you too, doofus. But I don't want you to be miserable for the rest of   
  
your life either. I want you to be happy - you deserve to be happy! Alright, I'm   
  
dead, but that doesn't mean that you have to be dead too, you know?" he said in   
  
a very soothing, very consoling way, "Promise me, Ryo; promise me that you'll be   
  
happy? Please?"  
  
"I'll try."  
  
"No. I want you to do it."  
  
"I will, Dee." Ryo smiled painfully.  
  
"Promise?"  
  
"I cross my heart."  
  
"Ryo?"  
  
He woke up. Dorian had just walked in to the office, papers in hand, looking   
  
doubtfully at Ryo, "You okay?"  
  
"Ye-Yeah, yeah.. I'm okay. What's up?"  
  
"We've got a murder at 7th and Row Ave. The chief wants us to check it out -   
  
looks like our Choir boys have begun to strike."  
  
"Let's go then."  
  
I've dealt with my ghosts  
  
And I've faced all my demons...  
  
Finally contempt with the past I regreat  
  
I found you find strength in your moments of weakness  
  
For once I have peace with myself...  
  
I've been burden with blame,  
  
Trapped in the past for too long...  
  
... I'm moving on...  
  
I've lived in this place and I know all the faces  
  
Each one is different, but they're always the same  
  
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it -  
  
They'll never allow me to change...  
  
But I never dreamed home would end up wh 


	8. Bachata Rosa Rose Song

Russian Blue By Rainy  
  
Author's Notes: Ok. New chapter now. I'm sorry about the shortness of the last one, but I can guarantee that this one is gonna be longer. Yes! Longer! I'm also working on a web page. Why? Because eventually this fic is gonna get some scenes that can be a little kinky and Fanfiction.net will not tolerate NC-17 rated stories anymore. So you'll get the "tone-down" version here. but you can get the director's cut over the page. along side a few other surprises I have there. So, as soon as I have a hosting, I'll let you know 'bout it, 'kay?  
  
Disclaimer: Fake belongs to Sanami Matoh. Dorian and Gaiev belong to me. The song lyrics belong to Juan Luis Guerra, and the song is called - yup, you guessed it! - "Bachata Rosa" (Rose Song). Enjoy!  
  
----------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 8  
  
As they traveled to the crime scene, Ryo sat silently on the passanger's seat of Dorian's black Camaro, looking through the window at the rushing streets that seemed to pass as a blur before his eyes. Dorian, at the wheel, turned every once in a while to take a peek at Ryo's absence expression. There was something odd about the silence they both chared: it was like when you're alone yet you know there's something there with you - your guardian angel, your guardian demon. God. something. Dorian laughed softly at the thought of Ryo being a guardian. something.  
  
"So, this is what it sounds like when there's a quiet spell between two people, hum?" Dorian spoke, making Ryo snap out of it and turn to see him.  
  
"Hum?"  
  
"You're too quiet," Dorian smiled softly, "I feel ackward in quietness between two people who are in the same car."  
  
"I was just thinking."  
  
"About Dee, right?"  
  
"N-no, not exactly."  
  
"Oh my God!" Dorian exclaimed in a very hurtful, cynical way, "Stop the presses! The boy has finally realized that there are some things not worth wasting time on!"  
  
"Oh, stop it Dorian!" Ryo growled, "You're not the pick of the litter yourself, you know?"  
  
"True," Dorian replied, "But at least I'm not Dee."  
  
Ryo turned away again, grunting. Dorian sighed, "Sorry," he said, "Look, maybe we started on the wrong side here. I really don't want this hostile environment between the two of us, I mean, you're my partner for Christ sake! We should be able to get along. right?"  
  
"You're right." sighed Ryo with a polite smile, "Just as long as there's no mention of Dee, right?"  
  
"Seems to me that subject is the only one keeping us from having something close to a friendship, yeah."  
  
"Ok. No Dee then."  
  
"Deal. We're here."  
  
Dorian parked next to a police car at the crime scene. An alleyway. A young man was found dead among some trash bags by a woman who claimed to be just passing by. The young man had to be no older than 26, brown hair, light skin. His clothes where torn, and you could clearly see the bruices and cuts all over his body.  
  
"He's pretty messed-up," Derreck said once Dorian and Ryo got to the scene and started asking questions, "Looks like they've beaten him to death or something. pretty rough. He has a marking on his left hand, as if something burned him - The Choir leaves that mark, it's like a signature of some sort. we're gonna look in to that."  
  
"Who is he?" asked Ryo.  
  
"He had this wallet with him," Derreck pointed to a wallet inside a plastic bag, "Says here his name is Michael Jordestein, lives up in 78 Bellmont Street, Apt. B-12. We're checking him out to see if he has a record that might lead to suspicion."  
  
"Anything else?"  
  
"Just that. no weapon in sight. no witnesses to see who dropped him or killed him. just the old lady who found him. poor bastard."  
  
"Alright, thanks."  
  
Ryo walked over to Dorian, who was now inspectioning the body wearing his forensic gloves. There was blood all over the floor and walls of the buildings colliding the alley. It was messy, but still.  
  
"No finger prints," Dorian said taking off the gloves, "No trails of who done it, no nothing. I did find a lesion in his right arm, but I think the pathologist should have a better idea of what that is."  
  
"You think it's drug-related?"  
  
"Possibly. The Choir is - after all - a drug operation.Did you see that?" he said pointing at the body's hand as the forensics where carrying him in a stretcher, "He had a burned thing on his hand."  
  
"Yeah; a signature or something."  
  
"Not just any signature," said Dorian lighting a cigarette, "It's Sariel's signature."  
  
"Sariel?" asked a puzzled Ryo.  
  
"Hmm-hum. Sariel is one of the top angels according to the Book of Enoch. So, if The Choir works like the angelic choir. then this guy was wacked by one of the top guys in the association."  
  
"How you know that?"  
  
"I've done some research," Dorian shrugged his shoulders, "Of course, I could be wrong."  
  
They headed back to headquarters to proceed with the proper paper work and analysis of the forensic report. Drugs. Heroine to be exact, where found in this guy's system.  
  
"He didn't died of the beating, o though it was a very nasty one at that," Ryo reported to Berkeley in the staff meeting held later on that afternoon, "Blows to the head, neck, legs, back and chest, some broken bones, internal bleeding. but the thing that's peculiar also is the fact that he had a high level of heroin in his system. It's as if he drugged himself up before getting the crap beaten out of him."  
  
"Or maybe somebody did it for him," Berkeley said, lost in his thoughts, "It wouldn't be the first time The Choir acts this way."  
  
"We could hit the streets and find out if there's any word there," suggested Dorian, "I mean, lowlife atracts itself, right?"  
  
"You do that."  
  
After the meeting, Ryo was soon caught by Dorian, who had been acting nicer ever since that little talk in the car. The guy wasn't a total jerk, unless the subject of Dee floated around; otherwise he was a pretty much decent guy.  
  
"Yo' Ryo! You off?"  
  
"Yeah. I'm heading home now."  
  
"Hey, you wanna get some coffee or something? We could talk about the sad state of our lifes and maybe gossip about the precinct. What do you say?"  
  
"Sure. Ok" Ryo shrugged his shoulders but was intrigued by the invitation. At that particular point in time, Dorian's cell phone rang. The redhead anwered immediately, "Hello? Oh, hi! Yes!... Ok, ok. no problem, sure!... Have fun!... Say, humm. if you're doing that, then I'll go with my new partner to drink a cup o' coffee and maybe eat a doughnut. yeah, police stuff. (giggles) I know! So? Ok? C'ya later hun. Love you too, dear."  
  
He hung up and smiled widely at Ryo, who looked at him with doubtful eyes, "The wife," he said showing the cell and waving it a while.  
  
"You're married?!" Ryo seemed surprised. Somehow he never pictured Dorian as a married man, but when he saw the ring in his finger he felt a little stupid for not noticing it before: he always pictured Dorian as a bitter homo guy who didn't get some and that's why he acted like he did, but. married?!  
  
"Ten years," the other smiled, "N' proud of it too. I luv the gal."  
  
Ryo blinked a couple of times before getting out of his surprise. Dorian rubbed his hands together in an anxious display of excitement, "Now then, coffee. I need my coffee. Hand't had a cup since this morning. cafeine is running low.And I know this great place."  
  
"Ok."  
  
As soon as they parked, Ryo's heart started to pound harder than a drill.  
  
The Lemon Tree.  
  
"It's soo good you can actually taste God's lips in every drop," Dorian was saying, but Ryo wasn't really paying attention, "Besides, they have little booths where you can sit peacefully without being interrupted by harrasing people. We can talk calmly there. Ryo?"  
  
"Oh? Yeah. yeah. booths."  
  
The door was opened and Gaiev looked at Ryo half in shock, half in disbelief to see him there with another guy. Dorian was all smiles and Ryo was all nervous shakes. Gaiev tensed his lips, trying hard to smile.  
  
"'ello. Welcome t' the Lemon Tree. You want table 'r booth?" he asked in the greatest effort not to show upsetness in history.  
  
"Booth. We want to be able to chat in peace, if you don't mind. weitor..." said a very cocky Dorian, taking Gaiev's tag to read it up close, "Mr. Gaiev."  
  
"Right. Come this way please." Gaiev walked in front of them and lead them to the same booth he and Ryo had chared not long ago. Ryo felt enourmously uncomfortable.  
  
"I'll have the Capuccino Cinnamon, in a big cup. and you Ryo?"  
  
"Coffee. just. coffee."  
  
"Right," Gaiev was writing everything down, not looking at either one of them, "I'll 'ave them over in a bit." and left.  
  
"Nasty manners these English folk have," Dorian complained looking at Gaiev's leave, "You think they'd be more nicer. Oh well. So, word around the precinct is that you have a kid?"  
  
Gaiev got to the counter and slammed the notepad so hard it scared Devon, making him jump up.  
  
"Jesus, Gaiev! Never ever do that again to a guy who is under the counter table!" and to see his friend's expression, "What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothin'. I want a number two and a number seven. and pee on the number seven if you can."  
  
"Gaiev! Not in front of paying customers!" he murmured at the sight of a disgusted old lady who had approached the counter and immediately left.  
  
"Like I bloody care."  
  
Devon leaned forward and was able to see Ryo and Dorian sitting at the booth. "Hey. What's your boyfriend doing with that other guy that's not you?"  
  
"'es not my boyfriend," Gaiev growled, "An' 'urry up with those coffees, will you? I don't 'ave all bloody day."  
  
"Sheesh! Calm down, girl!" Devon giggled as he turned around to tend to the order, "I'm not the one stealing your lover boy!"  
  
'es not my lover boy, Gaiev thought looking at the table. He felt something suspiciously similar to pain just to see them laughing together.  
  
A kiss is just a kiss.  
  
"Holy shit! Look at the time! It's ten-thirty already!" Dorian exclaimed after the third coffee, looking at his watch. They asked for the check and payed up by the counter. Ryo was trying to get a hold of Gaiev's eyes, but he wouldn't even turn to look at him - he actually avoided them for the entire evening, spending only the necessary time in their table, taking orders, bringing coffee.  
  
"Do you want a ride home?" Dorian asked Ryo once they where outside.  
  
"Nah! My house is just a couple of blocks away from here," said Ryo pointing to the east, "I can make it okay."  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Positive."  
  
"Okay then. See you tomorrow, partner."  
  
Ryo waved Dorian good-bye and actually stood there until he saw Dorian's car drive away in to the night, feeling relieved at the sight of him leaving, o' though they had a pretty good time talking about family, friends, ex-school mates, and all those little things that make life worth telling about. And as soon as Dorian was out of the picture, Ryo headed back in to the café. First, he needed to talk to Gaiev; second, he needed to call a cab because there was no way in hell his house was "just a couple of blocks away".  
  
Excuses, excuses.  
  
Gaiev was busy busing a table when Ryo came up to him. He felt his stomach give a tug, as if the entire world rested all of a sudden in it. Gaiev turned to face him before he could even speak, and Ryo saw that surprised look in Gaiev's eyes for the second it lasted.  
  
"You forgot something?" was the cold, cold question.  
  
"No. no. Actually, I wanted to talk to you. can you?" Gaiev looked at him for a couple of seconds before he nodded and headed to the counter, where he dropped off the dishes and told Devon he was going out back to take his ten minute cigarette break.  
  
"Ten? I thought it was five." said Devon looking puzzled, but as soon as he saw Ryo walk behind Gaiev, he gave a comprehensive "Ooooh!" and returned to his duties.  
  
The little alley behind the coffee shop was perfect for lonleyness and cigarette breaks. Sure, there was also the stinky dumpster, but Ryo had smelled worse in all the years he'd been working for the police department and Gaiev didn't seem to mind. He took out a cigarette and before Ryo could speak, he blurted out, "Got a light?" Ryo gave him his lighter.  
  
"I wanted to talk to you about."  
  
"Look," Gaiev interrupted blowing some smoke and returning the lighter, "I'm sorry 'bout the other day, with the kiss an' all. Really. Didn't mean anything by it."  
  
"Oh. No. I. It wasn't about that. Well, yeah, it kind of was, but. no."  
  
"Make up your mind."  
  
"I. I was wondering if you would like to. go out some. time."  
  
Ryo was unbelivably red by this point, looking at the floor for some confidence, and peeking up to see Gaiev's eyebrows arch up and give this lovely expression of a person who just got lost in the conversation. "Pardon me?" he asked.  
  
"Well, is just that. I really like you and. well, I can't stop thinking about that kiss and. I was just wondering."  
  
"Won't your boyfriend get mad?" Gaiev asked, upset at the memory of Dorian. Ryo immediately turned up.  
  
"He's not my boyfriend!" he replied, "He's. just my partner."  
  
Boy, did Gaiev felt stupid.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Then."  
  
"Then. you. would like to go out some time, right?"  
  
"Yeah, that was the basic idea," Ryo smiled. Gaiev knew that that smile was contagious because it made him laugh softly and blush at the same time.  
  
"Never been asked out by a boy before," he looked down to the floor, totally embarrased. Ryo laughed.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah. I'm usually the one asking the dates. Bu' okay. 'ow's Saturday for yeh?"  
  
"Saturday night? Sounds great!"  
  
"Good. We can go to a lil' place up north, real cute and real cool."  
  
"Not another café."  
  
"Nah! This' one's a beach pub. or somethin' like tha', you'll see. So. go by your door around eight?"  
  
"It's a date!" Ryo smiled widely.  
  
"Ok." Gaiev laughed nervously.  
  
"Ok."  
  
"Ok."  
  
"Ok. well, I guess I should get going."  
  
"See you 'round then."  
  
"Yeah. G'night."  
  
Ryo felt all giddy inside. He had just asked a boy out! On a date! And he'd said yes! Oh joy! Oh rapture!  
  
. What was he going to wear?!  
  
It was pretty late (or early, depending on how you see it) when Gaiev stepped out of the cab and turned to see that Ryo was sitting on the steps. He walked in a hurry to him. It was freezing.  
  
"What in bloody 'ell are you doing outside!?" he exclaimed outraged as Ryo stood up, almost blue from the cold weather, "It's bloody freezing and it's three o'clock in the morning! You're gonna get sick!!"  
  
"I couldn't wait 'till Saturday." was Ryo reply.  
  
"You couldn't wait 'till --?" but Ryo didn't let him finish the sentence, because without warning he had already wrapped his arms around Gaiev and was now kissing him deeply, his lips unfreezing at the touch of Gaiev's. The English boy was stunned at first but eventually got over it and held Ryo tightly. They kissed until they eventually had to breathe.  
  
"I couldn't wait untill Saturday to kiss you." Ryo said, his eyes moving from Gaiev's eyes and to Gaiev's lips, inches away from his face, both of them breathing heavely.  
  
"Then don't." Gaiev said before kissing him again. and again. and again.  
  
Ay amor, eres la rosa que me da calor  
Eres el sueño de mi soledad  
Un letargo de azul, un eclipse de mar  
Ay amor, yo soy satélite y tú eres mi sol  
Un universo de agua mineral  
Un espacio de luz que sólo llenas tú, ay amor.  
  
(Oh my love, you're the rose that gives me heat  
you're the dream in my lonleyness  
a blue letargic, a sea eclipse  
oh my love! I'm a satellite and you're my sun  
a universe of mineral water  
a space of light that only you can fill, oh my love.) ---------------------------- Whoop! There it is! How about that? Tell me what you think! Can you imagine what will happen on their date? And who is the babe who actually said yes to Gaiev? Find out on the next chapter!  
  
al36662@alumnos.uacj.mx 


	9. You shouldn't Kiss me Like This

Russian Blue 

Author's Notes: Well, well, well. Here we are, chapter 9 already. How's it going, kiddies? Good? Good! I hope this story is taking off in you. I love the comments you have posted here. I would like to thank you all. Conserning the music, yes – Russian Blue is going to have it's own soundtrack. More on that later on. I wanted also to take this opportunity to tell you that since Fanfiction.net doesn't allow NC-17 rated stories, then RB will have two versions from this chapter on forward. The "light" version will be posted here (with the exception of this chapter, wich will be posted on its entirety) and the "director's cut" version will be posted on a web page I'm already working on and that it's only matter of me getting it posted (this week, I promise!) Ok? So, without any more chit-chat… Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Fake belongs to Sanami Matoh. Other characters and Russian Blue story plot belong to me. Songs and music belong to their respective owners. This time, we got "How do you do!" by Roxette and  "You shouldn't kiss me like this" by Tobey Keith.

Warning!  This chapter contains adult languaje and situations that might not be apt for minors…

-------------------------------------------------

Chapter 9

_I see you comb your hair_

_and gimme that grin. _

_It's making me spin now, _

_Spinnin' within. _

_before I melt like snow, _

_I say hello - how do you do! _

Saturday night… and Ryo smiled as soon as he saw Gaiev standing on the other side of the door. He looked very handsome with this hair wet, a few strains of hair falling on to his face; he was wearing black pants and a tucked-in white shirt covered by a black jacket. Ryo felt nervouse all of a sudden.

"You ready to go?" Gaiev asked with a grin. 

"Ummm… sure, I just… have to get my… my coat! My coat!" Ryo sounded nervous, and then Carol popped up from behind Ryo.

"Hi!" she greeted, stunning Ryo and Gaiev both, pulling Gaiev in until he was practically sitting on the couch, looking at Carol and Bikky alternatevly. Bikky had his arms crossed in front, looking bully-ish at Gaiev, "Sooo?" Carol asked poking at Gaiev's stomach, "Where are you two love-birds going? Are you taking him to D&M?"

"D&M?" Ryo asked, confused.

"Dinner and Motel," Bikky replied, "And he better not, if he knows what's good for him!"

"Carol!" Ryo was totally embarrased by this. Gaiev laughed deliciously.

"No, no, my dear child. Dinner, yes, bu' why go to a Motel when we can jus' come back 'ere and shag in peace?" he said with a devilish grin. Ryo just went red while Carol applauded and Bikky growled.

"You wish!" he said, "You better not be wanting anything with my Ryo on the first date, you slime!"

"Bikky!" Carol scolded him. "Leave him alone! Sorry. I apollogize for my stupid, stupid boyfriend here. Soo… Diner and Bed?"

"I'll be home by curfew, mom," Ryo said in an undertone, pulling Gaiev to the door before Carol got more intimate about the detalis of the date, "Let's go…"

Gaiev waved good-bye before the door closed. Bikky huffed.

"I still say we should put a tag on those two," he groaned, "I don't trust him…"

"You didn't trust Dee either, and he turned out to be a pretty decent guy after all…" Carol leaned closer to him with a certain degree of affection.

"Yeah, but Dee is different. Dee was kinda' like my dad, y'know?"

"And? Doesn't "your mom" deserve to be happy?"

"Ryo is not my mother… _that_ would be weird…"

"You know what I mean!"

"I know," Bikky leaned to kiss Carol, "Still… I don't want Ryo to be hurt all over again…"

"He won't," Carol conforted him, "I have a feeling about this one… Besides, it's not as if Ryo was all alone…" Bikky blinked a couple of times, looking cute with this puzzled look. Carol winked, "Dee is keeping an eye on  him, remember?"

~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~

_I love the way you undress now, _

_baby begin - _

_do your caress, honey, _

_my heart's in a mess. _

_I love your blue-eyed voice, _

_like tiny tim shines thru. _

_How do you do!_

The place was a nice beach bar, you know, one of those bars where they try to recreate a beach-atmosphere in the middle of the city. The floor was entirelly covered with thick layers of sand (even in the bathroom!) and you where required to leave your shoes and socks at the entrance, where they gave you a little number to pick them up afterwards. This way, you could walk nicely on the sand. The tables where made out of wood, and the chairs where pretty comfty, for wooden chairs. The bar was like a tropical beach bar, with palm trees and everything, even a bartender with guayabera (beach shirt) and a straw hat, with coconuts as glasses. The band was a live band, but there was also a sound disco, loud enough to be heard all over the place, low enough to have a nice conversation without the screaming. Neon lights made it look like a night with full moon, with the starts shinning above them, and fake fires on the fake mosquito repelents. Ryo was quiet, looking around with detail at everything. So far so good. Dinner had been very nice at an italian restaurant where the food had been excellent and the chef , he seemed to be Gaiev's friend from back in England, hence they got the best treatment in the house. Gaiev had explained that the chef was also the owner of the place, and that they both had met on a trip Gaiev had made to Italy, not long ago. Seemed to Ryo Gaiev got around a lot for a meer coffee-house waitor. 

"What're you thinking?" Gaiev asked, holding Ryo's hands across the table, caresing his fingers with delicate touches, soft and tender. Ryo smiled timidly.

"Nothing much… I'm having a great time… Dinner was delicious…"

"Giovanni is the best. An' you're s'pose to 'ave a good time on a date, you know? Specially when the other person desires to 'ave another one, an' another one, an' another one…"

"Good first impression then," Ryo laughed. Gaiev sighed. God! He loved to watch him laugh!

"Good…"

Silence…

"Gaiev… that's russian, right?"

"Well, yeah. I grew-up in England, but my parents're from the old country… they never let me or my sister forget…"

"So, you know russian?"

"Yup," Gaiev sipped some of his beer.

"Nice!"

"You know japanese?"

"What?"

"You're part japanese, right? Do you know any japanese at all?"

"Not really," Ryo though it through, "Just the basics, I guess. Not really…"

"Hum…"

Apparently, they where both just content to hold their hands and look at this action, because another break of silence set off at this moment, and was soon broke by Ryo, "So, you tell me more about you…"

"About me?" Gaiev sounded surprised.

"Yeah!"

"I've already told you most things 'bout me…"

"I… Not everything… like, for example, I don't know if you like rainy nights or not…"

Gaiev giggled. He felt Ryo's grasp tighten and he turn to face his eyes. There was a spark in them he'd long forgotten, and made him feel funny inside. He turned away, maybe surprised by this feeling, maybe… 

"I do… I love rainy nights… I love to make love under the rain…"

Ryo went all red at the thought of….

… wild sex under the rain…

"You've done it, then?" he asked; a lustful tone of voice came out, as if wanting – desire? – to experience this first-hand. Gaiev nodded.

"Long time ago," he seemed to drift off to his memories for a while, "Only good thing I can remember 'bout 'im…"

"Him?"

"Ex-lover. Don't really want to get in to those waters right now. Maybe later – maybe…" 

(Don't want to remember…)

"He… he treated you badly?" Ryo's question seemed to be shy and even innocent. Gaiev laughed sarchastically.

(Pain…)

"'Badly' is a term used looselly… Bu', like I've said, I don't want to get in to those waters now. Not when I'm in such lovely company…" 

(You don't have the heart to do half the things he did… please, let's move on)

"Thanks…"

"Wanna dance?" 

A soft slow song… a soft slow song played by the live band was as if they where playing it just for them both. It seemed that the place had been emptied for the exception of them, as Ryo's head was leaning against Gaiev's shoulder, and he was leaning his head on to Ryo. In a swift movement, Ryo felt Gaiev's lips press softly against his, once, twice… Opening them delicately, almost timidly, to touch his tongue with his own. He wrapped his arms around Gaiev's neck, leaning forward and kissing lovingly, meeting his lips with Gaiev's, his tongue with Gaiev's, trying to beathe and kiss at the same time so that he wouldn't break the spell that was uniting them at that particular moment. It seemed to be lasting hours on end, as they both kept slow dancing to the music their hearts would play along with the band. They had to part, only to hold on tighter, Ryo's lips nibbling on Gaiev's earlobe, making the English man moan softly in to his ear and breathe heavily, his hands moving across the blond's back, making him react with soft groans. 

"Mmm… Gaiev…" he sighed, kissing him deeply again…

_You shouldn't kiss me like this_

_Unless you mean it like that_

_'cause I'll just close my eyes,_

_and I won't know where I'm at!_

We'll get lost in this dance floor 

_Spinning around,_

_And around, and around, and around_

_They're all watching us now_

_They think we're fallen in love_

_They'd never believe we're just friends_

_But when you kiss me like this_

_I think you mean it like that_

_And if you do, baby, kiss me again!_

Ryo felt himself being pressed against the wall and Gaiev's body once they where back at his apartment door. The dark haired man kissed him fervently, each step on those kissed being absorbingly dramatic, almost as if they where not to kiss each other ever again and Gaiev wanted to make for lost time. Ryo didn't know exactly and honestly he didn't care much about that. He was too busy tangling his fingers in Gaiev's soft hair, receiving the kiss that left him almost out of breath over, and over, and over, shooting his head back as Gaiev's lips met the skin on his neck, trailing soft touches that made him quiver in delicious agonizing pleasure he couldn't quite grasp or comprehend, but that felt oh so good! And at the moment he realized this, he lowered his head and pushed Gaiev slightly.

"It's getting… late," he said, slightly out of breath. Gaiev smiled and nodded (half disappointed, but he wouldn't show it)

"You're right… Does this mean we… get to 'ave another date then?" he asked leaning down to kiss Ryo's neck near the ears again, making Ryo gasp for air.

"Definitely… Oooh God, yes! Ano-antoher one… so-soon…"

"When?" Gaiev asked, his lips between Ryo and words.

"Tomorrow? Maybe…?"

"I'll cook dinner for you. See you at my place, around 8?" Gaiev gave Ryo another kiss on the lips.

"Sounds…"  Ryo began to say before the kiss began. After it, Gaiev savor it in the most lustful way possible, making Ryo blush even deeper than he already was.

 "See you next time, luv?" he said… or asked… or maybe both at the same time. Ryo's head was spinning.

"Yes… next time…" they gave each other one final kiss before Ryo got in to his place and close the door behind him, sliding down until he eventually sat on the floor. He felt his body all warm, but smiled at the thought of Gaiev.

The English man closed the door behind him and as soon as he did, the phone rang. Smiling wickedly at the thought that it might be Ryo second thinking that date and move it on to this very instant, he rushed to answer it. 

"'ello?" he asked. No answer. He frowned his eyebrows, "I said, 'ello?"

"_Privet lyubov'_ (Hello love)" the male Russian voice said on the other line. Gaiev went pale. His hands began to shake and his eyes began to water. This could not be happening. Not now. Not again…

"Who is this?" he asked, his voice choked with feelings that ranged from fear to anguish.

"_Chto naydu tebya lyubov'_…  (I knew I find you love)"

"_Otyebis ot menya… OTYEBIS OT MENYA!!! _(Get the fuck away from me… GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!)" Gaiev shouted to the phone before slamming it up. He stood there, breathing fast until he realized he was crying. Then, the phone rang again.

Don't pick up…

Don't pick up…

Don't pick up…

Hi. Leave a message… 

*BEEEP*

"_Eto opyat' ya lyubov'_... (It's me again love) I've missed you... pick up the phone, _lyubov'_ (love), I know you're there… My love… what's his name? Ryo Maclean?"

Gaiev immediately picked up the receiver.

"_Past' zabej padla jebanaja! _(Shut the fuck up, you fucking bitch!)" he shouted.

"My, my, such language!"

"What do you want?!"

"_Ya hachu tebya tray khate, lyubov'_...(I want to fuck you, love)"

"_Poydi k chertu_!! (Go to hell!)"

"No, love. I think that you'll meet me... tonight… in one hour…"

"No…"

"Does the 27th precinct need another officer dead? What do you think his favorite torture will be? Wich one was your favorite one? Maybe you two could share…"

"… Where?"

"That's a good _sukka_ (whore)! Meet me at The Raven… one hour. Blow me off, _sukka_, and you know what will happen next…"

The phone went dead and Gaiev hung up. At that particular moment, Gaiev could feel how his soul started to die all over again… 

… A feeling long forgotten…

-------------

Notes:  Yes! They are speaking Russian! What you think? Next chapter, Gaiev returns from the "date" and Ryo begins to ask questions. Gaiev's past is further revealed, all leading up to one hot, shocking discovery! Gossip anyone?

Thank you all for reading! Keep up the postings and I'll keep up the good work… or something!

Gaiev (looking funny at me):  You 'ave your fun, don't you?

Rainy (shrugging her shoulders):  Nya!

Gaiev:  Aren't you s'posse to be studying for your piggies exam tomorrow?

Rainy (winking):  Yes, but I remembered my underwear!... (looking horrofied) No I didn't!!!

al36662@alumnos.uacj.mx

moonrainy@wildmail.com

www.deadjournal.com/users/~moonrainy


	10. Come to my Window

Russian Blue

By Rainy

Author's Notes: Ok. So by now most of you are going "whaaaat!!!" and are probably pretty much hating my guts or are so in to this story you just can't get enough of it. Unfortunately, my duties as a final semester student are taking much of my time and I do apollogize for any delay in story. Further, the web page is done, complete. Find it at 

Thanks for reading!

R.

Disclaimer:  Fake belongs to Sanami Matoh. Other characters belong to me. Today's song is called "Come to my Window" by Melissa Etheridge. Gaiev, however, belongs to Ryo. 

---------------------------------

Chapter 10

(already!)

As soon as Ryo yelled "I'm in the bedroom!" Carol springed to meet him, jumping on top of the bed and looking almost childish, with a wide smile on her lips and this frantic look she just couldn't control (in fact, if she had a tail, she would be wagging it right about now). Ryo blinked once or twice, surprised and amused at the actions taking place as Bikky came in and just leaned against the door way, crossing his arms and expecting to hear anything but good things.

"Sooo?" Carol asked, giggling and waving her hands to intice Ryo to 'spill it'.

"So – what?" Ryo asked, almost inocently.

"How was it?"

"What?" Ryo was now playign dumb, enjoying every second of Carol's anxiety.

"The date, you moron! How was the date?!" 

"Oh – _that_…" Ryo smiled silly as he turned to hang the clothes he'd just taken in from the laundry downstairs.

"Wait, wait… '_that'? What do you _mean_, 'that'?! Wasn't it good? Did he do something? (gasp!) did __you do something and ruin the last chance you have at true happiness – (blush) and did I just said that out loud?"_

"Yes you did, and thank you for the vote of confidence… But no – it was fine. It was great! We went to dinner…"

"He paid, you paid, you went german?" she interrupted like a little girl who is anxious to get to the part where the princess kisses the prince and the happely ever after ending.

"The word is Dutch, and no; he paid for everything."

"Oooh! A gentleman! See?" she turned to tease Bikky, "You could take classes from him, you caveman!" and Bikky just puffed.

"Anyway. We ended-up going to this place called 'Moonlight Beach'…" (Rainy's notes:  Yes! Like that beach in Encinitas, California!! ^.^)

"I know the place! Bikky and I went there last week, didn't we?" she turned to Bikky again, who nodded, "Aaaand?"

"We talked… and danced…" Ryo started to mutter.

"And make kissy-face?"

"… (blush – blush)… yes…"

"HOW CUTE!!" she clapped and jumped up and down, "Did you use a lil' tongue?!"

"CAROL!" Bikky scolded her while Ryo went all red ("Well, actually –"), "I'm sure Ryo doesn't wanna tell you the morbid details!! (besides, it's not as if I'd want to know!)"

"(But I do…)"

"It was good," Ryo spoke in slow words, remembering all that had happened the night before, right at the apartment door and smiling timidly every once and a while, "He sure knows how to kiss, I'll tell you that…"

"Aaaand? Did he stay?" a very miscevious smile crossed Carol's face.

"No, he didn't."

"It's their first date, for crying out loud!" Bikky said, waving his arms and hands in the air in a very comic way, "What you think Ryo is? A slut who sleeps around on the first date!?" 

(hey now…)

"Gee… thanks…" Ryo looked hurt.

"Are you two going to date again?" Carol asked, looking excited.

"Yes. Actually, today. He's coming to dinner," Ryo blushed sweetly and looked excited at the very thought of having someone over for dinner.

"Hummm… The blushing, the excitement, the anxiety, the sappy puppy face you make every time you remember the kissy-face… yup! He's a keeper!" Carol blinked at Bikky, who sighed accepting fate as it was coming. Ryo laughed softly.

"Fine!" Bikky said, not looking very happy but recognizing that this was not about him, "As long as he makes Ryo happy!"

Ryo thought about that for a second. Was he happy? He hadn't been this excited since the first time him and Dee went out on vacation together, in London, back when he met Berkeley. He was excited back then, even though he didn't want to admit it. He was excited when he and Dee moved in together; he was excited the first time they made love… ok, that was more horniness than excitement, but you get the idea. He hand't really though about the feeling that was starting to grow inside, rapidly, yes, but still it was growing. The very thought of Gaiev made him feel all fuzzy inside, like a child who is waiting for candy… 

Was Gaiev making him happy?

And Ryo couldn't wait to dinner. 

He stood by the window, looking at the black sky painted by the pretty city lights that just seem to make everything nicer than it was under them. His eyes reflected disappointment, a certain degree of sadness even, as it was already 11:30 p.m. and no sight of Gaiev. What's the standard time to be considered "stood up"? One, two, three hours? He didn't know exactly. He'd never been in this situation before. Well, maybe once in high-school, when Mindy Carter made him wait about three hours at the entrance of the movie theatre and then came up with this story about breaking her leg when she was taking a shower next day when he called her, expecting something better than this lame-o excuse that he even though he could come up with something better, but then when he saw her Monday morning at school with the cask over her leg he felt really guilty about it and ended-up being her personal nurse for the rest of the week, only to end-up hating her because she became so bossy and bitchy, and started treating him like a slave – out of the story! He decided to blow off the candles at the table (not that they weren't already out by this time, but he couldn't think of anything else to do with himself other than to release his own sexual tension all by himself at the though of some kind of kinky situation, and he _really_ wasn't in the mood to do that right now)

Ryo sighed and though of a million reasons not to continue with this. Yet, he thought of a million and one reasons why he should…

… Gaiev made him happy…

Come to my window  
Crawl inside, wait by the light  
Of the moon  
Come to my window  
I'll be home soon  
  
I would dial the numbers  
Just to listen to your breath  
I would stand inside my hell  
And hold the hand of death  
You don't know how far I'd go  
To ease this precious ache  
You don't know how much I'd give  
Or how much I can take  
  
Just to reach you  
Just to reach you  
Just to reach you  
  
Come to my window  
Crawl inside, wait by the light  
Of the moon  
Come to my window  
I'll be home soon  
  
Keeping my eyes open  
I cannot afford to sleep  
Giving away promises  
I know that I can't keep  
Nothing fills the blackness  
That has seeped into my chest  
I need you in my blood  
I am forsaking all the rest  
Just to reach you  
Just to reach you  
Oh to reach you  
  
Come to my window  
Crawl inside, wait by the light  
Of the moon  
Come to my window  
I'll be home soon  
  
I don't care what they think  
I don't care what they say  
What do they know about this  
Love anyway  
  
Come to my window  
Crawl inside, wait by the light  
Of the moon  
Come to my window  
I'll be home soon

**************************************************

Alexeyena opened her eyes at the sound of the door being opened late at night. She and the kid where alone. She grabbed the bat next to her bed, thinking that maybe if the burgler had a gun this bat was gonna do diddly squad. She moved silently to the living room, where she suddently turned on the lights and screamed "DON'T MOVE BASTARD, I GOT GUN!!" as she shut her eyes tightly and held the bat in front of her. She didn't heard anything but a loud "Thump!" that made her look. Her eyes widened in shock at the sight of a pretty battered Gaiev leaning against the door edge, barely able to stand up as she quickly helped him to do so; he had a bruised left eye, swollen lip, dried blood coming from the nose (and still a little bit was coming out), messed-up hair, dirty clothes, torn shirt, bruises and cuts on his arms and parts of the torso Alexeyena could see through the torn shirt. Gaiev was breathing with some degree of difficulty.

"Gaiev!" she had exclaimed as she'd rushed to help him, "What happened?" she asked when she helped him in and walk to the couch, "Who did this?"

Gaiev cried out when he sat on the sofa, leaning back to rest and try to make the least amount of effort, whispering things she couldn't understand. He was acting strange – Alexeyena thought. Suddently, her eyes closed to hold back the tears as she held her brother against her. 

"It's Ivan again, isn't it?" she whispered to his ear. But Gaiev was already sleeping, a painful expression clear across his face. 

--------------------------

Well? Like? I hope so. This story is coming up so nicely! I'm at school right now, trying to make some work, but the freaking computers don't have access and honestly? I need the access to proceed with work. Today is the 30th anniversary of my University, so no classes. 

Check it out! The page is up! The address is 

Oh! And if you like this story, maybe you'd like some of my original work as well, posted soon at Fictionpress.com

**Timeless Blood**:  (Romance, Drama, Angst. Rated R) Kat-Wa is the God of Time, a God who is to be hidden, who is to be alone. But to the Valley of Time comes Kalavan, an angel destined to become his guardian, his protector, his lover. But when Kalavan's destiny is to give his life for the one he loves, Kat-Wa's destiny is to recover his past, his present, his Kalavan…

**A Piece of Paradise**:  (Romance, Action/Adventure, Drama. Rated R) Sean Matthers is an angelical analyst whose job is to analyze problems within the angelic brigade on Earth and try to solve those problems. After being dumped by his wife, he comes to Izra'il, the angel of death, for support and comfort. He ends-up getting involved with Ian, a human slave created by a demon, and who is also the only one who knows where the Amulet of Lillith – the amulet given by God to his angels to retrieve Adam's first wife – is hidden. 

**Quarter Mile**:  (Romance, Drama, Angst) Cordelia, a young writer, meets a racehorse owner, Dublin Casio. After a flirty romance, Dublin vanishes from the face of the earth and Cordelia decides to find him, only to find that maybe loneliness and destiny have played her the cruelest joke.

**To Dance Under the Pale Moonlight**:  (Romance, Adventure, Drama. Rated PG-13) Danielle Rouge is a talented girl who wants to get to the Orde Royal School for the Major Arts, in Orde, the capital of Resase, in a world now forgotten. Unable to get in as a woman cannot study the arts, she changes her name to Ange D'Lune and sets her life in Orde as a male. But love, and prejudice to her wiccan heritage might play a different role in her life.


	11. He Talks to Angels

Russian Blue  
  
Author's Notes: Listening to "She Talks to Angels", by the Black Crows, the acustic piano-guitar version. It made me think over this chapter. I have good idea for future chapters of Russian Blue, even have the three possible endings! But, for now, let's just settle with the story so far. Riding the city bus is not fun. The web page is coming along. I'll probably gonna have it set up by this week ^.^  
  
Disclaimer: Fake belongs to Sanami Matoh. Other characters belong to me. This chapter's song is "She talks to angels", as sung by The Black Crows, but for gender purposes I'm gonna take the liberty to change it to, "He talks to angels".  
  
Warning: This chapter might contain situations and language not apropiate for children or people who are sensitive about particular situations (graphic language, violence, sexual scenarios)  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------  
  
Chapter 11  
  
It was like waking up to a nightmare and slowly realizing that the nightmare was just beginning.  
  
I am in Alexeyena's bedroom, the warm scent of rose petals in the air as Alexeyena likes to burn rose insence to calm her down. Honestly? I never liked the stuff. I can hear her talking to lil' Alex in the kitchen, baby talk, trying to make the lil' rascal eat his breakfast. Trying to get up takes courage, as my entire body aches and screams in pain at the feel of movement. I try to move as slowly as possible, walking to the bathroom, taking my time on getting rid o' the clothes, on turning on the shower, on looking at myself in the mirror.  
  
Shit! I look like crap!  
  
The bath does wonders. The hot water relaxes the wounded flesh, makes the muscles forget last night's torture. Because it was torture. Anything done to you against your will is torture, both physically and mentally. I want to dissolve and disappear from the face of the earth so badly and at the same time I resist the temptation to cry. I convince myself to try not to think about it as I let the water hit my face and instead of thinking about it, I focus my entire mind on a way to make it up to Ryo. He had to be expecting me yesterday - I have to make it up to him because I like him, I really do. The sheer thought of his smile brings healing to my soul - a healing effect that I desperatelly need right about now. I don't want to get out of the shower and face the world behind the door, but I have to or else I might end-up looking all wrinkled and old.  
  
As I step out of the shower, I get the oreos scared out of me by Alexeyena, who is standing next to the wide open door, her arms crossed in front, looking murderous. She gets this puffed lip when she gets mad - so she must be furious by the look of it. Not as bad as mine though.  
  
"Bloody Jesus, wha' the bloody 'ell you think you're doing?!" I almost scream out loud, half covering myself (even though she is my sister, she's still a lady).  
  
"Oh, stop covering, you baby; I saw it when it was a wee lil' thing! So, what 'appened yesterday? HUM? Mind explaining to me why you came in as if you got the living shit beaten out of you?"  
  
"Nothing", I lie. I feel angry at her for asking. yet I feel guilty for feeling like this. She's my sister, my big sister, who took care of me when things got bad; who took care of me when things got worse. She has the right to worry.I take a towel and wrap it around my waist, wanting so badly to run pass her and lock myself in my room to cry in peace for the rest of the evening. But she takes my arm and pulls me back (she has incredible strenght)  
  
"Don't bullshit me, Gaiev!" she yells at me, but immediately regreats doing so. She breathes in, "Sit!" and I obey, not knowing why, but I do. I sit on top of the toilet, leaning against my elbows on my knees. I'm not looking at Alexeyena: looking at her will only make me want to shoot myself even more. She kneels down in front of me, taking my hands between her own in a very sisterly-motherly afection, "Gaiev, luv," her voice is worried, I can tell, "please tell me what's going on." and then, silence. I can't bring myself on telling her exactly what had happened to me the last 24 hours or so because I can't bring myself to think about those hours without my stomach revolting, without shaking, without feeling so damned dirty, used, miserable, pathetic, lost, drowned, "Whatever it is, I want to help you, please. tell me."  
  
"Ivan's back," I say, but it isn't my voice saying that. It feels as if someone else is speaking; a quivering, shaky voice on the edge of tears, low and unstable, afraid to be heard as if it'd done something terribly wrong, sinful even. I don't see Alexeyena's expression but I can tell she's in shock, "'e called me th' day before last, after I got 'ome from my date with Ryo. 'e called an' wanted to see me. if I didn't. I went there. an' 'e was there an'. Gods, please!"  
  
"What did he do to you Gaiev?" her voice sounds tender yet filled with pain. I close my eyes to gain courage from inside. I can feel everything all over again, like it was happening at that instant. Start to cry. I don't want to remember, damn it! I don't want to feel it all over again, once was enough!  
  
"I 'ad to. 'e said tha' if I didn't, 'e was going to come for you and Alex. an' 'e was going to enjoy doing it to Alex. An' I couldn't - Gods!!" I break in tears as Alexeyena holds me tightly, hiding my face in her shoulder, holding her in a desperate attempt to hold something close, "Why?! Why now?! Not again. I can't go though tha' again, Alex! I can't!!"  
  
"Shhhh. I know. I know," she's stroking my hair, whispering in my ear, crying softly and trying to pretend she isn't scared, "It'll be alright. Talk to Ryo, 'es a police officer, I'm sure 'e can - "  
  
"NO!" I shout abruptly, separating myself from her. The very thought of it sends shivers down my spine. Pure fear. But not fear for myself, or for what Ryo might think of everything. but for Ryo's life. Alexeyena has this puzzled look in her face, "I can't! I can't!" I scream as I stand and rush away from that bathroom to my room, followed closely by my sister.  
  
"Why not?!" she shouts back, "Gaiev! Listen to me! He can help you!!"  
  
"NO!!" I shout hysterically, hitting the wall with my fist. From fear to rage in split seconds. Alexeyena stood dry, "Ivan. 'e knows who Ryo is. 'e knows where Ryo works. HE KNOWS!!!" I turn to face Alexeyena, "Ryo can't know about this, Alex. 'e. 'e just can't."  
  
"Why not? Why? Isn't 'e worth it? Doesn't 'e make you feel all tingly an' giggly inside? Why 'ide th' truth from 'im?!"  
  
"Because Ivan will kill 'im, Alexeyena!" I cry out, going down on my knees as my legs had lost all their strenght and I couldn't stand anymore. I'm crying uncontrolably; I feel as if my life has been taken away in a matter of seconds at the very thought of what I had just said. Alexeyena kneels next to me, trying to comfort me as best as she can, "Ivan will kill Ryo an' I can't let that 'appen! I just can't. I. I love him, Alexeyena."  
  
The phone rings at that precise moment. We both kind of freeze to see if maybe it's a prank call or someone dialing the wrong number. It rings four times before the answering machine picks it up. I see darling Alex playing with his blocks when the voice came.  
  
"This is your agent, sukka. You got a gig, Friday night, with Mr. Renee Feldman. The limo will pick you up at The Raven at 7:15 sharp. Dress nicely - " and then Alexeyena picks up the speaker and shouts to the man, "HE'S NOT GOING!!!" and slams it. I've never seen Alexeyena this angry before. She comes to my side again, hugging me tightly again.  
  
It's not fair. Of all the people in the world, of all the thousands and thousands of bastards and bitches whose lifes could be going through this. why mine? Why now? I thought I'd paid my debt to karma.  
  
"It's not fair." I whisper.  
  
"Vsyo boodet harasho," she says, kissing my forehead, "Pomni, ya useyda iyadom. ya useyda iyadom, tine odna, Gaiev. vsyo boodet harasho. ya tebya lyublyu. Pomni ya tebya lyublyu."  
  
A knock on the door. We both get up and I walk to open it as Alex cries and holds his little arms up to his mother and Alexeyena tends to him. It's a heart-warming sight that brings a smile to my lips. Again, the door knocking. I open it.  
  
"Ryo." and Alexeyena turns to see us, carrying Alex. Ryo looses all color in his skin at the sight in front of him. I'm bruised after all.  
  
"Gaiev! What happened?!" he sounds concerned and upset, touching my face softly and examining me with his worried eyes, "Are you okay?"  
  
'No', I want to tell him, but I can't see those eyes worry like that. It breaks my heart in ways I couldn't grasp up until that particular moment, to see him worry, to see him in a certain degree of agony like this.  
  
"Yes. Yes I am. Gods! Sorry 'bout yesterday."  
  
"No! My god!" he's saying as he came in, looking around to see if those where the only bruises, to see if I wasn't bleeding from anywhere else, "What happened? I got worried when I called your work and they told me you didn't go, that they hadn't seen you!"  
  
"Tea, Ryo?" dear Alexeyena speaks as she's heading to the kitchen.  
  
"No, thank you."  
  
She vanishes. Thank you, Alexeyena. As soon as she did, my attention is again with Ryo, who searches my eyes for an explanation. I can't help myself and hold him tightly. It feels so good to feel him hold me back. It feels right. I can die in his arms a happy man. I forget about everything that happened before at the sight of his smile.  
  
"Please," I whisper in to his ear, "Let's just. forget about it. Nothing happened. let's just. forget it."  
  
I feel him nod. I don't know if he believes me or not, but I'm happy that he at least is giving me that chance.  
  
"I have to go," he says in a soft voice, smiling and blushing slightly, moving away from me in a very delicate manner, "But. if you're not doing anything tonight."  
  
"Nothing at all," I speak, completely lost in his gaze.  
  
"Then. I'll see you tonight?"  
  
"I'll be waiting." I speak. He kisses me and when we part it hurts so much inside. He leaves. I'm thankful he doesn't ask many questions.  
  
The days go by and I feel as if I'm floating everytime I see Ryo. He makes me smile with every little thing he does or says. He talks about work and I listen as if he was the last person on earth to listen to. I can't help but to feel warm inside when he takes my hand, when his lips press against mine, like butterflies crossing my entire being. Every day is a new thing - a new detail I know about him. And it takes my breath away to think that maybe - just maybe - God has intended his path and mine to cross, to meet.  
  
I feel complete when he's near.  
  
Ryo. He has my heart in his hands.he has my entire soul in his eyes. I cannot begin to understand this effect he has on me. It's too soon for it to be complete and devoted love, isn't it?  
  
I don't care.  
  
. Ryo makes me happy.  
  
But by Friday the shadows take me. I cannot risk it. Alexeyena begged me not to come here, but I cannot allow them to hurt anyone, not on my account. Fortunatelly, Ryo has the graveyard shift, so that's good. I guess. I watch the streets as the limo makes its way to an expensive hotel near Broadway's theatrical avenue. I know the man sitting across me, looking at me with a wide smile, making me feel like some sort of merchandise you look over the street and pay good price for.  
  
"You are an expensive one," I hear him comment. I don't want to hear him. It repulses me, makes me want to throw-up. I hear him laugh at my face as I'm pretending not to hear him, "An expensive and proud whore, you are."  
  
A whore. I am a whore. Nothing more.  
  
The old fart has expensive taste, I have to admit that. His room was the penthouse, the one with the swimming pool and the helicopter landing site. With the fake jungle in the hallway and the elevator for a door. With the expensive rug and the tiger skin on the sofa. With the plasma TV and access to all the pornography in the world. I walk in, alone. He's paid Ivan in advance for whatever I'm requested to do. I want to sprint out of there, but I know the limo is downstairs, waiting for me or for a call from the unsatisfied customer upstairs. I know that if I make a wrong move, Alexeyena, Alex and Ryo will be the ones to pay.  
  
A famous congress man. Or so he tells me as he begins to kiss my shoulders and neck. I close my eyes and think of Ryo but an immediate sense of guilt takes over and I shudder. I can't go through with this anymore - I tell myself - I just can't. I can't lie to Ryo, I feel as if I'm betraying him in some way. But I'm not. It's hard to explain. He's fucking me, not making love to me, there's a difference.  
  
To fuck a person is to just satisfy your carnal desires, to ease the beast within you. It's just that - sex. No attachments, no feeling, going nautral, going on automatic, oh yeah baby, do it like that, yes, yes, more, more. To make love is to give a little piece of your soul in every second you spend with the one you love. Each touch, each kiss means everything, it means your heart belongs to this person, that your entire being belongs to this person. You cannot think, you can only feel. Extasy is there, and you reach nirvana with a single touch, with a simple look. And I embrace the image of Ryo so pieces of my soul don't get tangled and lost.  
  
I feel him achieve his climax inside me and I arch beneath him, half hating myself for not being able to separate my body from carnal pleasure, and this feeling is with me long after the limo takes me back to The Raven; a feeling I still carry long after the taxi drops me home, long after I just sit on the steps, feezing weather, just gazing at the sunrise, where Alexeyena finds me right before she goes to the store to buy some milk for baby Alex, whom she has left in the care of Mrs. Norris, our nice upstairs neighbor.  
  
"Gaiev?" she asks. I hand her a handfull of money.  
  
"Buy whatever you need," I say.  
  
"But---"  
  
Doesn't matter.  
  
It's Saturday. tonight, I'll have Ryo in my arms again. and everything will be alright.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Sooo? What ya' think? Review! Next chapter? Dorian and Ryo get information about the Choir as another murder happens, and Ryo gets the first warning from Ivan.  
  
Thank you for all the wonderful reviews! I'm glad you're enjoying this story! I'll do my best to keep you interested! ^.^  
  
Translations  
  
Slut. Everything's gonna be alright. Remember, I'm always next to you. I'm always next to you, you are not alone, Gaiev. everything's gonna be alright. I love you. remember I love you. 


	12. Electric Chair

Russian Blue  
  
Author's Note: I think my computer is one step away from calling it quits on me. I'm gonna hafta save my files so I can format it and place Windows 95 again. (Bad stupid idea to place Windows XP with a Pentium II processor, right? Sheah!) But, alas, I have no floppy. So untill I get a box of floppy disks I guess I shall carry her on. Besides, the internal clock had set itself to 1608. as if computers where inveted back then. or where they.?? @.@  
  
Anyway. Here's chapter twelve. I have a kick of your reviews. I specially loved the one where you beg that Ryo kills Ivan ^.^ It made me laugh so hard that people at the computer center in school though that I had gone completely insane. Yeah, I am, but that's not the point here. (Rainy is actually very very happy because she got Fake 3, Gravitation 2, Cardcaptor Sakura 5 and Demon Diary 3. all in one insane manga shopping spree. I was left with no week money, but it was worth it. ooooh yes!!!)  
  
Disclaimer: Fake belongs to Sanami Matoh. Other aditional characters are from my own twisted, perverted mind. The song is called "Electric Chair", and it's by Prince (from the Batman OST). Enjoy.  
  
Warning: This chapter contains situations that might not be apt for minors (violence, explicit language, sexual scenario.  
  
*******************************************************  
  
I saw your friend 1st That's who I danced with All the time I was watchin' u.  
  
"Yo' Ryo."  
  
Ryo came out of his silent spell to look up and see Dorian giving him this "where are you man?" look. He felt a bit embarrased by it.  
  
"What?" he asked, pretending to be busy. Too late. Dorian sat in front of him, with this childish grin that Ryo took notice of almost immedately, "Whaaat?"  
  
"What's up? Did lover boy left you tired last night?" Dorian's face was so intimidating, Ryo couldn't help but to blush slightly, even if he leaned over to face Dorian.  
  
"Mind your business, okay?" he said, almost threatening.  
  
"Uuuuh! Big boy in front of me! But tell me, did he?"  
  
"Why should I be telling you parts of my intimate life?" Ryo leaned back, looking almost upset over the matter.  
  
"Because I'm your partner," Dorian said as-a-matter-of-factly, "I'm supposed to learn all the juicy gossip about you from you, not from Drake or Berkeley."  
  
Ryo sighed, "There's nothing to gossip about. He never showed."  
  
"Ooooh! There's a he. so, is he cute? Is he tall? Does he have a hot sister?" Dorian asked at 100 miles an hour.  
  
"Yes, there's a he, and. actually yes, he does have a sister. But she's married - the husband is not in town though."  
  
"So, what's preppy boy's name?"  
  
"Gaiev."  
  
"Gaiev?" Dorian frowned, "That's ackward. weird."  
  
"Russian. His family is from Russia, but he grew up in England."  
  
"Sooo? Do you like him?"  
  
Ryo looked at Dorian for a while. Dang! He was just as nosy as Carol!  
  
"None of your business," he said, pretending to work again. Dorian gave this mischievous look before leaning back on his chair and taking out his pencil to chew on the eraser.  
  
"So. you do like him.Dee must be twisting in his grave."  
  
"What's it to you?!" Ryo almost shouted, half embarrased, half angry. Dorian laughed deliciously.  
  
"My, my. Aren't we touchy?"  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
"Sooo? What's he like? Physically, I mean."  
  
Ryo sighed. Dorian wasn't gonna give up, "You've seen him. he's the waitor at that coffee place." and Dorian blinked twice, surprised, at the sound of the words.  
  
If a man is considered guilty 4 what goes on in his mind Then give me the electric chair 4 all my future crimes-oh!  
  
"Waitor?.... Oh yeah! I remember him! Very uptight fellah'. Him? Wow. Well. I can see why." Ryo turned to see him, interested on what he was about to say, "I mean. he does look almost like Laytener."  
  
What?  
  
That. wasn't true.  
  
. or was it?...  
  
"Yo!" Drake came in to the little office, "There's been another one, 5th and Row Street. Berkeley says you two should roll on over cuzz it seems it's the Choir's work."  
  
"Let's roll then," Dorian took his jacket, followed closely by Ryo. They cruised the streets fast as Dorian was one heck of a fast driver. Ryo liked speed yet he felt like a complete woose when it came to him being the one doing the fast driving. The rather Dorian do it. He was much better at it than Ryo was anyway.  
  
On the way Ryo thought long and hard about what Dorian had told him. 'He does look almost like Laytener'. Gaiev didn't look at all like Dee. Not now at least. Granted, he'd been taken aback by Gaiev's similarity to his passed lover, yet now, after a few dates, he'd became to realice just how different Gaiev and Dee where. Dee was wild, ded-on sincere, cocky, honest; Dee never took anything for granted and was always in high alert, even with his care-free attitude that disturbed some people and attracted so many others. Gaiev was calm, mysterious, and lately he'd been silent - sadness scattered in his eyes, like a fog that only seemed to be denser, and Ryo tried to figure out what was going on. Gaiev simled whenever Ryo asked him about it. Nothing wrong. Nothing at all.  
  
So Gaiev kept certain things quiet, like the fact that someone had beaten him up the other night and he didn't want to tell him who. Maybe it was because he didn't trust him enough to tell him if anything was wrong. And Dee always told him everything. A big difference between them.  
  
"Still thinking about what I said, Ryo?" Dorian asked as they pulled over to the scene, "We're here."  
  
Ryo stepped out of the car. Police officers, forensics and curious people that always seemed to hang around morbid crime scenes. The body. A young man, about 25 or 26. Beaten. Bruised. Cut. Raped.  
  
"His ID says his name is Frank Gava," an officer told them showing them the confiscated ID inside the plastic bag, "but it could be fake. We found nothing suspicious, not even a murder weapon."  
  
"It's a classical Choir set up," Ryo spoke thinking aloud as he sat on his heels, taking a closer look to the body, "This kid's been beaten pretty badly. You think he was working for the Choir or maybe he was trading or something?"  
  
"Could be anything," Dorian said next to Ryo, "We're gonna do a backup check on him, see what we can come up with."  
  
"Hold up." Ryo moved his gloved hand up to the body's torso. A burned scar - a mark. A symbol, "What's this?"  
  
"The signature of Michael, according to the kaabala," Dorian spoke later that evening, showing the rest of the precinct a photo of the burned scar and a piece of paper next to it in a projected image.  
  
"The Choir has it's organization similar to those of angels, according to the investigatons we've done," Ryo said passing on some papers to his fellow officers, "They're organized in to Angels, Powers, Thrones, Virtues and Archangels, things like that. This only means that this guy was killed because the high honcho inside the Choir wanted him dead."  
  
"But we don't know who that head honcho is," Dorian shrugged his shoulders, "All we know is that the Choir moves around drugs and prostitution - mostly minors: slave trade and all that kind of twisted, perverted shit. They suply most of the. meat in the market, to put it in one way."  
  
"A very morbid way, thank you," Berkeley said, looking at Dorian over his glasses.  
  
"Our little nipper's name was Frank Gava, arrested several times for dealing. He also took care of a bunch of hookers over at a club called The Raven," Ryo spoke as the image changed to the entrance of the Raven, "But curiously enough, no one has taken notice of them since yesterday. Frank's boss must of have move their operations somewhere else."  
  
After the meeting, Ryo's thoughts where to get home and wait for Gaiev. He wanted so bad to see him, to talk to him, to kiss him. Granted, they had a date that Saturday, but there was something inside him that just couldn't wait that long. The last couple of days had been like a dream. Gaiev had taken him to the coffee house a couple of times and they had been to the movies once - but he couldn't remember why the movie was called Down with Love if all his heart was feeling was butterflies whenever Gaiev was near. It was eerie, like a sixth sense.  
  
"Headed home, Ryo?" Dorian asked him.  
  
"Yup," Ryo's face was iluminated with a smile at the thought of Gaiev, "Can't wait to either."  
  
"Good for you! Gonna make nice with your boyfriend?" Dorian was looking evilish, even childish. Ryo blushed deeply, "Yup, I thought so. It just seems that you like him very much, that's all. Reminds you of Dee, doesn't he?"  
  
"Stop saying that!" Ryo snapped, "Gaiev is nothing like Dee!"  
  
Ryo stormed out. The nerve! Dorian was such a prick sometimes, telling him that he loved Gaiev because he looked like Dee. Correction - liked Gaiev. Because it couldn't be love, could it? Not this fast. With Dee it took a while before it sank in as deep feelings towards that man. It had to be the same with Gaiev. It just had to.  
  
"If you say so." Dorian said when Ryo left. He then picked up the phone and dialed a long number, waiting for a reply afterwards, "Hello? Yes, I would like to speak to Mr. Weaver please. Thank you.. Hello? Yeah, it's me. Listen, I was wondering if you had something I crave for. let's say. foreing imports."  
  
***************************** Two in the morning and Ryo stepped on the cigarrete as he saw Gaiev get down from the cab slowly and carefully, and at the moment he saw him, his smile appeared across his face.  
  
"G'evening, luv." Gaiev kissed him, "What're you doing at this hour?"  
  
"I missed you," Ryo held him tight. He could swear he heard Gaiev give a painful moan and so he separated, "What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing. Had a bit of a stomach ache all day an' it seems I still do," Gaiev smiled innocently, "You wanna go in or are you enjoying the cold too much?"  
  
"Enjoying it now that you're here to keep me warm," Ryo said softly, kissing Gaiev again, deliciously warm lips that just seemed to taste better and better in every kiss. Ryo sighed as they parted and walked inside. There where no need for words - it was odd: Ryo's and Gaiev's silence would speak loudly, heartbeats dancing to a rhythm only heard in their heads. As they stepped inside the elevator, kisses couldn't wait to be given. Soft hands traveling up and down arms and holding heads just a bit so toungues can dance deeper in their mouths, moans of leasure heard over; hips pressed against eachother, making the other feel their arousal, their lust.  
  
Door opens and Ryo almost cusses out loud because the ride had to break so sudden. They walk holding eachother, Ryo's hands struggling to get the keys out. At last he finds them and struggles to open the door as Gaiev's lips are kissing the soft flesh in the neck, holding Ryo by the waist, his chest against Ryo's back. Ryo moans softly as he feels his knees shake and get weak at every passing second.  
  
"Have a good night, luv," Gaiev says, smiling widely. He took a few steps before Ryo took him from the arm and pulled him slightly.  
  
"You want to go in?" and Ryo felt as if this was not his voice, but a voice of someone else, someone lustful, someone deep in love. The door closed behind them and they where kissing again, dropping everything they had that got in the way of their embrace. Walking to the bedroom left a trail of clothes until two nude bodies where on top of the bed, kissing and moaning, touching and crying out from the pleasure. Hungry lovers that fed from their lust and pleasure under the pale moonlight that flashed inside the room, through the window, drawing patterns on the sweaty skin of two lovers that moved insync with eathother, not knowing exactly who's leg was between who's - it was a leg, period. Arms, hands, lips, tongues, everything was all melted in to him - Ryo - and all the tingly sensations burned and set fire inside him in every kiss Gaiev gave him, in every caress he gave him, in every whisper he said, in every sigh, in every moan, in every single inch of that body that arched under him, that begged for more, that pleaded, that drank, that desired. A delightful bliss that came in tinny sparkles, that drove them to the edge of existance.  
  
A feeling long forgotten.  
  
"Was it good?"  
  
Ryo opened his eyes, sleepy and groggy, but wasn't surprised when he saw Dee lying next to him, looking in to his eyes with this air of melancholy within.  
  
"Dee. what are you doing here?"  
  
"Just. wondering."  
  
"What?" Ryo's expression was sweet.  
  
"Was he good? You sounded like you where having fun."  
  
"I - I guess I was."  
  
"So he was good."  
  
". Yeah. He was." Ryo rolled over to his back, looking at the cealing as Dee sat up and over Ryo.  
  
"Better than me?" he asked, leaning over to kiss Ryo on the lips. Ryo accepted the kiss, but didn't move. Instead, he moaned sofly and felt a little used when Dee's lips parted from his.  
  
"I don't know," Ryo said, sighing, "It's been a while since I've had you - you're dead, you know."  
  
"I know. But still. you must remember something."  
  
Ryo kept silent for a while, "He feels weird," he said at last, "It feels as if I'm never gonna see him ever again, you know? His passion is like. is as if he feels like this is the last time we're gonna be together. it has a weird vibe to it. good, yet. weird."  
  
Dee gave him a smirk before sitting next to him, lighting up a cigarette. Ryo laughed softly, "Not even dead are you able to drop that habit," he teased.  
  
"Do you love him?" Dee asked suddenly. Ryo blinked a couple of times, surprised at the question.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do you love him, Ryo? Do you love Gaiev?"  
  
Ryo looked up at the ceiling, "Love is such a strong word." he said in a soft voice, "I - I'm not sure. I don't know."  
  
"Because he loves you, you know? He loves you more than you can expect him to love you," Dee's words made him turn to face Dee, whose expression was one of tenderness and care, "I don't blame him. You are a lovable one. I loved you very much, you know that?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"If you don't love him, Ryo, don't play with him like this. don't call him Dee. again."  
  
"I - What?" Ryo gasped. He remebered it - calling out Dee's name in the middle of extasy, scratching Gaiev's back. He remembered the brief flash in Gaiev's eyes and suddenly he woke up, searching for Gaiev on his bed, but all he found where the sunrays beaming in, morning awakening slowly.  
  
He was not there.  
  
Then, the phone rang. Ryo picked it up (almost immediately since it was on the nightstand next to the bed) and answered, "Hello?", half expecting it to be Gaiev on the other end of the line.  
  
"He's a precious jewel you cannot touch, why are you insisting on having him on your bed?" said the voice on the other end, a male voice, deep and scratched. Ryo arched an eyebrow at the sound of it, and even gave up a slight gasp.  
  
"Who is this?"  
  
"He belongs to me."  
  
"Who--?" but before he could say anything else, the line went dead.  
  
--------------------------------------------- Gasp! What will happen now!? Don´t forget to tune in for the next exciting chapter!!  
  
Rainy (al36662@alumnos.uacj.mx) 


	13. Please Call

Russian Blue 

Author's notes:  Wow! Chapter 13 and 52 reviews already! It's been a reall good experience doing this. Well, I am happy. Russian Blue is my most read story so far and I have all of you to thank for it. If it wasn't for your reviews, I would of not of done it…

Anyway… on with the show. 

Disclaimer:  Fake is property of Sanami Matoh. Other aditional characters belong to moi. Today's song is called "Llama por favor" (Please call) as sung by Alejandra Guzmán and it's placed here already translated in to the english language.

M'kay???

Warning:  situations not apt for children.

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Chapter 13

The elevator door opened and Ryo met Gaiev's eyes for the first time since that day. Yes, the "I called him by my former lover's name while having sex" incident day. Almost a week had gone by and this was the first time Ryo actually had – any – kind of contact with Gaiev, who looked even paler under the dim lighting of the hallway. Four o' clock in the morning. He must have had to cover the night shift. He looked like crap.

"Hi," Ryo said softly. Gaiev ignored him. He walked by, not paying attention to the fact that Ryo stood there untill he finally vanished behind his appartment door. Had he done so many things wrong? Was it that bad? __

_[The moon is a reddish orange_

_at midnight...._

_sitting by the window_

_looking at the sunset go_

_bastard and selfish..._

_bikes and rock n' roll_

_leather, drugs and alcohol_

_what are you doing now?_

_I'm trying that this heart of mine_

_Won't get out of my chest....]_

Love.

It couldn't be love. It took Dee more than a couple of months before Ryo could realize that he had fallen head over heels for that man and now he'd been seing Gaiev for what? A month or so? It couldn't be love this fast. But the fact of the matter was that Ryo missed him terribly: he missed his smile, his voice, his scent. He missed his kisses, his touch, his taste. His body missed him completely, even though they only made love once, but it was so passionate, so fufilling, so… so right. It _felt_ right. It felt more than right - it felt _complete_...

... Love?

... was he really that... love?

_[I need you, you see?_

_I hate to admit_

_That I need to have_

_Your breath to be okay_

_That there ain't no better food_

_Than the one your kisses give me]_

"Ryo?"

Ryo turned to see Dorian, who was looking at him with this doubtful look in his eyes, "Is there something wrong?" he asked.

"Terribly," Ryo sighed.

"What happened?" Dorian asked, getting up and heading to the coffee maker, "It is lover-boy?"

"I don't think he's my lover-boy anymore," Ryo said, and by the way he said it he just sounded terribly miserable. Dorian turned, coffee cream in hand, looking amused.

"Why? I thought it was a match-made-in-heaven sort of deal…"

"No... not anymore..." Ryo was now leaning over the table, his head over his arms, "I – I called him 'Dee' the other night..."

"Oh..."

"I called him 'Dee' while we where making love..."

"Oh... that bad?" Dorian's concern sounded sincere when he sat back down, looking at Ryo who at that moment began to have an enormous amount of simpathy towards him, "How long ago?"

"I saw him the other night... and by "other night" means three days ago... and before that it was a week without seeing him or hearing him... His sister is out of town, so I have nothing to keep me posted," Ryo looked like a lost puppy, "I think it's pretty much over..."

"Well..." Dorian gave it a lot of thought, "It's not like... It's not like you loved him or anything like that, is it?"

"N-no... not really..." he said. But, then again, why was he feeling so bad?

Why was he feeling... empty?

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The elevator door opened and Ryo's eyes met Gaiev's. They stood in that moment for what seemed aeons before Gaiev walked pass Ryo, looking down and not saying a word. Ryo wanted to speak...

But nothing came out somehow...

_[Please call_

_I'm a zero to the left_

_I'm a balloon with no gas_

_A ship lost at sea_

_With no maps, wondering_

_Please call_

_I'm so defenseless_

_I'm lacking will_

_I can't concentrate_

_And I can't find my way out]_

The elevator door opened and Ryo's eyes met Gaiev's once more. 

"Well," Dorian said thoughtfully, "Why don't you call him?"

"I have," Ryo replied, "But the sister is out of town and I only get the answering machine."

"Then go to the coffee place. You have to fight for the ones you love, Ryo. Otherwise, you're left with emptyness and bitterness because you gave up too early. If you love him, if you want him, then you have to fight for him..." Dorian said with a soft voice, much like a father's voice when he tries to give good advice to his only son. Ryo smiled back, feeling all warm inside. It had been a while since he had any good "fatherly advise"... and Dorian's words... well... just sounded like that...

At that point, Ryo began to like him...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To see Gaiev again turned out to be the hardest thing Ryo had to experience, specially when Gaiev simply treated him like another customer, nothing new, nothing special. He approached the table writting stuff down on his work pad, unawares of Ryo's presence.

"Wha' can I get... you..." he began to ask but then turned in to an upset tone, like he really didn't want to see him there. 

"Hi,"

"'i," Gaiev said indifferently.

"How are you?"

"Fine."

"Haven't seen you in a while…"

"Look, 're you goin' to order? Because I 'ave a lot o' tables to tend to..." Gaiev was impatient.

"I'll have the expresso, please."

"Anything else?"

" – _you_"

"I'm sorry," Gaiev sounded bitter, "I do not come with the order" and with that, he turned away. Man! He was still very much pissed after two weeks. Ryo didn't blame him. He would have been this pissed to if Gaiev had confused him with a former lover. Ryto wanted to go but he just couldn't bring himself to walk out. He wanted to talk to Gaiev. That's what he came here to do, right? That was that.

Gaiev walked fast to the counter, where Mandy, another co-worker, was dealing with some old lady who insisted on having ice cake in the middle of winter. Gaiev rushed to her side, threw the noteblock on top of the counter and all that Mandy could hear was a "Goingoutbackbebackinawhiletable5needsexpressocigarettebreakmusthavecigarette" at no less than 100 miles per hour.

"Errr... ok..."

Gaiev hit the wall hard with his fist once he was outside. He felt something close to rage but at the same time he felt worthless. He slid down untill he was sitting on the floor, his head banging softly against that wall, little tears beginning to come out as the memory of two or three nights ago came to his mind...

He felt so...

... so tainted...

He looked down at his wrists.

Damn it!

... why wouldn't the scars of the heart heal this fast?........

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Gaiev walked in to the room and turned around scared when he heard the door shut behind him. He arched his eyebrow at the sight of his newest customer, who was looking at him from head to toe, walking around, his arms crossed in front with a satisfied look in his face, a wide smile on his lips. Gaiev knew this guy…

"Wow," he said softly, touching Gaiev's hair and face with the delicate touch of a rose, "I wouldn't believe it at first but yeah... you _do_ look like Laytener..." and kissed him softly on the lips.

"What's your name, luv?" Gaiev asked in a very sensual voice.

"My name is Dorian, dear one," Dorian replied, caressing Gaiev's face, "And I don't care about your name... I think I shall call you Dee from now on..."

"Why?" Gaiev asked, remembering Ryo and feeling completely hurted and somehow betrayed.

"Because you look so much like my former lover..." Dorian smiled as he slid his hads down Gaiev's clothed-covered torso, "I'm sure Ryo has told you that in more than one occasion..."

"No' really," Gaiev lied, "We don't get along tha' good..."

"Don't lie to me, pretty boy," Dorian softly, "Ryo told me you where his new lover... but I'm not here to talk about work. You're an expensive one. Let's get down to it, shall we? I want to know if you fuck half as good as Laytener did... Dee..."

Fuck you. That's what Gaiev wanted to tell him. Moments later, he was on the bed completely naked; his eyes where covered by a black cloth, and his hands cuffed on to the headboard. The handcuffs hurted, but he was sure that Dorian wasn't going to care as much as he made sure they where nice and tight when he put them on. Personally Gaiev wasn't in to these games, but Dorian was still his customer...

... and he really didn't care about it much these days...

The fact that Dorian insisted on calling him Dee was enough to make his heart ache more and more at the memory of Ryo's face of bliss calling out this guy's name. Dee. He must have been some character. 

"You look like a vision," he heard Dorian comment. He could smell the cigarette smoke and soon enough felt the heat close to his skin, making him squirm under Dorian's weight. Then, a puncturing pain on the side of his neck that made him a victim of horror as flashes in his memory started to run in his mind. 

"No!" he tried to get free, but this only made Dorian laugh deliciously at the useless efforts.

"Relax, Dee," he heard Dorian comment, "It'll make you feel like in heaven... Remember: pain is the ultimate experience..." and then, the agonizing pain: burned flesh that screamed out from the bottom of his throat, silenced scream with one deep, penetration, insulting kiss that seemed so vile, so savage.

"Please... don't..." Gaiev felt suffocated. He tried to release himself from this kiss but all efforts where useless as he began to feel numb and the drug took on its full effect. His breath became the more relaxed, his heart beat was down. 

"Hush, my darling Dee... pain is the ultimate pleasure," he heard Dorian's voice close to his ear, and Gaiev could feel the small tears running down his cheek.

He half-hated himself for releasing shortly after Dorian did, breathing heavily in to the other's neck, feeling his arousal come down slowly. A few minutes went by before he felt Dorian get up, but he had little streinght to pull himself back together. Soft kisses on his face, and eventually his mouth...

"Don't feel so bad about your lover, Dee; he doesn't even love you. He just wants to fuck you for the same reasons I want to keep fucking you: you look so much like our beloved Dee Laytener... Hah! I bet Ivan would like to know what you two are doing behind closed doors... he does seem like the gealous type, don't you agree?" Dorian said, Gaiev feeling his breath close to his face.

"You... you work for Ivan, don't you?" Gaiev asked, "You _work_ for Ivan..."

"I am the bringer of death, darling Dee," Dorian said kissing his lips punctuating every word, "Your other self should know that by now... and if you're not careful and do _exactly_ as I say... Ryo might find that out by himseld one of these days... Ia tebya imeyu [you're my bitch]... clear?"

"...... crystal...."

----------------------------------------------------

"Gaiev," a voice brought him back. Gaiev turned around but immediately turned away, wipping his tears in a fast movement.

"What do you want?" he asked. Ryo came even closer.

"I have to talk to you."

"Then talk"

Ryo knealed down in front of him, "Look," he said, "I'm sorry – about what happened. I didn't mean to call you – "

"Like your former lover?" Gaiev asked bitterly and Ryo felt ashamed of himself. They where silent for a while before Gaiev spoke, "Ryo – why do you love me? Is it because I look like Dee Laytener? Do you – do you even _love_ me?"

"No! I – I'm with you because you're _you_, not Dee... You are so different from Dee..." Ryo said as he cupped Gaiev's face. God! He was so beautiful, even with this sadness in his eyes! But Gaiev seemed sick; he looked like he hadn't slept for days, as if he'd been crying a lot lately, "It worries me to see you like this... Gaiev... what's wrong? Please, please, please talk to me, baby..."

"You didn't answer my second question," Gaiev's words where struggling not to fall apart, "Do you even love me – _at all_?" the last part seemed more like a whisper, a drowning whisper.

Ryo looked at him figuring the right words to say. Gaiev's eyes turned to ice. He didn't say a word; he got up, "Right," he sighed before walking away. 

_[Radio with it's propositions_

_For a happy world_

_Just makes me crazy_

_A thousand thoughs cross my mind_

_And I don't even notice them]_

Ryo looked alarmed when he saw Gaiev two days after that. He had a suitcase and looked like he was going on a trip. 

"Where are you going?" Ryo asked.

"I'm going back to London," Gaiev replied before the elevator door closed. What? London? That was too far! London was not next door; was not even in the same country! Ryo felt he couldn't breathe all of a sudden. 

London...

He couldn't let his heart go to London...

_[And even if it hurts this time_

_I hate to admit_

_That I need to have_

_Your body to be okay_

_Lost in love_

_My mind needs you...]_

Ryo sprinted downstairs when he realized he'd been standing there for a couple of minutes now. He needed to stop him. Outside it was raining like crazy, freezing cold water, but this didn't stop Ryo. A couple of seconds more and he'd catched the taxi. He waited for the next one. He got tired of waiting after a couple of seconds and ran to the main street, where he caught another one. 

"To the airport!" he shouted, "And step on it!"

God-dammed the traffic!!

"Can't you go any faster?" Ryo sounded desperate.

"I'm going as fast as I can go," the guy in the taxi said, upset at this backseat driver. Ryo flashed his badge at him.

"Officer Randy Maclean and this is a police emergency! I need to get to the airport ASAP!!"

"Sorry Officer, but the traffic's a killer. We could be stuck here for hours..."

After what seemed years of traffic and endless people, they finaly got to the airport. Ryo ran to find the squedules...

London, departed 9:15 p.m.

What time was it?

9:30...

Ryo felt his heart skip a beat in agony. He was too late. He was always too late. He was too late to help Dee, he was too late to save Dee... and now he was too late to keep Gaiev by his side. He walked outside, to the rain and was standing there, not knowing if to go home or to go somewhere else. 

"Give me a reason to stay, Ryo," he heard a voice from behind. He turned around to see a soaking Gaiev standing there, looking gloomy. Ryo smiled at first, but then burst out laughing of sheer joy.

"You're here!" he said, taking a few steps towards him. Gaiev didn't move.

"Give me a reason to stay, Ryo," and this time it sounded more like a plead, a desperate call for something else, to hear something more, something like 'please tell me you don't want me to go. Please tell me you need me just as much as I need you to feel alive...

.... Please, Ryo... tell me you love me...

"A reason to stay?" Ryo asked, gasping. 

"I want to know why should I stay 'ere. I want to know why do you want me 'ere. I want to know what I mean to you... tell me..."

Ryo just stood there, looking at Gaiev. He pictured his life without him. He pictured waking up every morning without him by his side, without his kisses every night. He pictured not making love to this man in front of him. He felt his heart beating uncontrolably at the thought of losing him again, forever maybe. 

He couldn't... 

"Because I love you... I love you!" he whispered at first, but then shouted it outloud. Gaiev dropped the suticase and rushed to hold his Ryo, "I LOVE YOU GAIEV! I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!!... Please... please... don't go..." Ryo said right before leaning in for a kiss that was so filling it left them both with electricity running up and down their spines. 

After a kiss so sweet, everything else seemed to be like a blur, a bad dream... a nightmare long forgotten...

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Awww! Nice! How about that twister, hum? You never expected it to be Dorian, right? Next chapter – As a key witness comes to light, Ryo comes upon a "catalog of expensive dates" that the Choir organization moves around town... and secrets are finally revealed!

al36662@alumnos.uacj.mx

moonrainy@wildmail.com


	14. High

Russian Blue

Author's notes:  doing part of this waiting for a classmate to come and pick me up. It's around 6:15 am and the general idea of this came to me yesterday before I fell a sleep. I think it's good. Thank you so very much for reviewing! I am so happy to see that you guys really like this story (and Cole's Lover: you're gonna be surprised! ^.*)

A new Fake story is also posted here, it's called "Starlight ni kisu shite". And in this one, I don't kill Dee... ^.^

Disclaimer:  Fake belongs to Sanami Matoh. *Other* characters and plots belong to me. The song this story is based upon Fey's song, "Subidón" (it can be translated in to "High" or "Getting high"…)

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"Christmas?" Ryo blinked a couple of times as Bikky nodded happily.

"Yup. Me and Carol are going to take a little christmas vacation up west. We've been talking about it for a while, and it seems like a good idea. Besides, it's not like you're going to be alone, right?"

Ryo blushed and pretended to chop the lettuce in front of him as Bikky gave him this big wide grin, "Yeah, you know what I'm talking about," he teased, "You where already thinking of a nasty excuse to keep me and Carol out of your hair anyway, so this vacation just fits perfectly in to your evil little plans of having s.e.x. with lovah' boy in a very sexy romantic way, you nasty little vixen…

"Shut up Bikky!"

"Oh my god! Look at me! I'm starting to talk like Carol!" Bikky started to balance himself on the chair he was sitting on. At the sight of Ryo's completely red face, he laughed out loud, "I tease! I tease! I really like him, you know?"

"Who?"

"Gaiev. He seems nice. And most importantly is that he's making you happy." Ryo turned to look at Bikky's face as he spoke, looking back in to his memory archive, drawing a very melancholic smile, "It's been a while since I've seen you this happy… and I'm happy that you're happy. It's weird, though – without Dee. It's been weird."

Ryo smiled. "Yeah, it has," he said in a very paternal tone, "But then again, we have to move on. We have. I think Dee is very happy, wherever he is."

Bikky laughed softly. Deep down inside… yeah, he missed the bastard…

"So. When's the wedding?" Ryo asked, walking in to the kitchen and Bikky almost fell out of the chair he was balancing in.

*          *            *            *            *            *            *            *

Gaiev closed the door behind him and sighed, walking slowly to his bedroom, thanking God Alexeyena and her husband had taken some "family time" to the coast. He sat on the bed and moaned painfully as he laid back, feeling his eyes heavy with sleep. Suddenly he was on Ryo's door and Ryo opened the door, all smiles. 

A christmas dinner. 

He walked in to the house and smiled as he looked around the appartment. The candlelighting made it so very sexy and the aroma of the cinnamon incence and the good smell of food cooking in the kitchen. He remembered other times, when he could smell the bread baking in the background as his mother would come to the door and greet him, smuddering him with that big motherly attention only mothers can give. 

"I'm so happy you came, Gaiev!" she would say with glitter in her eyes, "Your father has been taunting poor Alexei with all these questions about his life, about what he wants with his son, about his intentions. Poor Alexei can only nod and smile, you know how polite is that boy…"

His father would be talking to his brothers over the big fire place, drinking and smoking, laughing loudly as Alexeyena would be with his younger sister, Marie, helping their mother cook the big dinner. His two aunts would be there, yapping old stories about when things where better, when the Tzar was in power, about when gold and silver would hung from the Moscow streets and people where happy. They where all old but lovable all the same. His cousins where there, making all that noise, laughing and playing beautiful children's games he loved to played when he was younger. His uncle Nicolai would approach him with a small glass with vodka and they would both cheer to family and friends. 

"Lyublyu tebya vsem sertsem, vsey dushoyu", he would hear from behind. At one turn and Alexei would also be there, all smiles and bright emerald eyes, smiling widely at him and talking in a language his mind wouldn't forget, _ever_. He would smile with a shy grin as Alexei would take him in to his arms, "Ya tebya lyublyu"  he would tell Alexei before a kiss. His aunt Ana would come and break them apart to say something like "break it up you two or go to a hotel," and everybody would start laughing. He felt the warmth inside his soul, inside him. He felt Alexei there – and he woke up with tears rolling violently down his face. He wiped up the tears with his right arm, trying to control them, but they just wouldn't stop. He remembered his life up until that point, a point before everything went spinning out of control, before everything went down in a spiral nosedive. He felt a strange kind of empty inside, and the very thought of Ryo was enough to me the light come down abd clear his path. He reluctantly got up and walked to the bathroom. One glampse in the mirror and … "Bloody shitty people!" he hissed. 

A knock on the door. He opened it and Ryo was all smiles, "Oh, sorry. Did I wake you?" he asked politely as he walked in after Gaiev steped to one side so he could do so. 

"Nop. I just got up, luv. Besides, I'm always up for you." and after the door had closed lips crashed against eachother for a kiss long overdo. 

"Wow… I should come here more often…"

"Wha' can I do for you?" Gaiev asked, holding Ryo tightly. 

"I was wondering what where you going to do on Christmas…"

"Nothing. Why?"

"Wanna spend it with me?"

"Of course!" he said with happiness, "Do you even need to ask?"

"Maybe you where planning to spend some time with your sister or something…"

"I would rather spend it with you – making wild, hot, steamy sex under the missletoe…"

"You're supposed to _kiss under the missletoe," Ryo laughed shyly, "Not __have sex under the missletoe"_

"Ah! You don't know what kind of kiss I'm going to give you…" he sounded miscivious. 

"Sounds tempting… so, you're gonna, right?"

"Wild boars wouldn't keep me from coming… and coming…"

"That _word_…"

Christmas dinner with Ryo. He could hardly wait…

_High, it's a high_

_An injection of adrenaline_

_High, kissing you it's a high_

_What you got that just gets to me?_

_High, it's a high_

_A nitroglycerine shot_

_High, kissing you is a high_

_That charges my battery again_

  
 

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Hee-eey! Short one, I know. Promise I can write longer next time, hum? Hum? Hum? Ok. So… please don't stop reviewing! Oh! And please, please take a peek at the other one, hum? Let me know what you think. Oooh! This is gonna be soooo good!!! ^.^


	15. Secret Smile

Russian Blue

Author's notes: It's Sunday. In a little while I'm going to my father's store to be there all day. Probably gonna take my computer there so I can do all the stuff I'm supposed to do by Monday. Tsk Tsk. I know it's gonna be a slaughterhouse at school. Two presentations, two teachers who want to crucify me worse than they did Jesus (sorry J-man, but you know it's true) Oh well. As I say when things get rough.. Ladi-dah…

Hope you enjoy this chapter. If I could post a new rating it would be NC-17 for the sexual contents in it. Just don't tell Fanfiction.net or else they're gonna kick me out. I was thinking of posting this on my deadjournal, but then again, who would read it, hum? Ok. Enough chit-chat. On with the goods!

Disclaimer: Fake belongs to Sanami Matoh. *Other* characters and plots belong to me. The song this time is called "Secret Smile" sung by Semisonic. Maybe I'm wrong. 

WARNING – Hey Kiddies! Go see what mommy has in the oven! Cookies! (Shh! I'm only doing it as a distraction to keep them from reading this naughty, naughty chapter)

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Five days to Christmas…

Ryo had thought long and hard about what to get Gaiev for the holidays. He'd thought about giving him something nice, like a sweater or gloves or maybe one of those wooden pens, but he really didn't know what Gaiev liked. Now that he thought about it, he didn't know much about Gaiev, except for the facts that he was from Russia, that he grew up mostly in England and that his family was very close but now all he had left was Alexeyena for some reason… and Alex… and Ivan, Alexeyena's husband who right now where in California, visiting Ivan's family. Ryo'd met Ivan, he seemed like a pretty decent guy, even though his job required him to travel a lot and he was _almost_ never home, but still, a pretty decent guy.

Back to the shopping.

Ryo didn't know Gaiev's favorite – basic – things. Now that he thought about it, in all the time they've been together, he never asked him about his favorite books, movies, colors, songs, anything. And still, he was so in love with this – dare we say it? – complete stranger who lately had been working extra-hours, or at least he said he did because one time when he went to look for him, Devon said that he'd been out a few hours ago and then when he asked Gaiev about it he said that he had to take in another job as a bartender at a place called The Craft and Ryo had no idea where this place was… then again, he was a cop – he'd look in to that later.

Right now, he needed to think about the shopping.

"Maybe you should invite him over to dinner and ask him, you goof," Carol said. She was packing while Ryo sat on the bed, looking worried at the idea. What if he asked Gaiev and then Gaiev just took this as a way of saying 'I know nothing about you, please leave' sort of situation? 

"What if he takes it the wrong way?" Ryo asked shamefully. Carol sighed.

"No point on making you feel better, hum? Ask him!" she said, taking Ryo's hands between her own, her eyes and smile cheering him up, "You never know what could happen!"

"You're right," Ryo said, "I will… I'll invite him to dinner – or a movie, or something… and I'll ask…"

"And remember, it all fails, the best moment to ask for things – is during sex " Carol said with a wink of her eye and a childish smile that just made Ryo go red, "How do you think I got Bikky to go on this vacation?" 

During sex… point taken.

 * * * * * * * * * *

Ryo smiled as soon as he saw Gaiev there. The dark-haired man raised a bottle of red wine and winked, "I've got some wine to go with that blond," he said before kissing him and stepping inside. The door was closed soon after.

"Dinner is almost ready," Ryo said, "But are you sure you wouldn't want to go out or something else?" Gaiev shook his head.

"I would rather spend some time alone wit' you, luv. Nuthin' better than t' spend quality time with such a gorgeous man than alone, in 'is 'ome…" and maybe it was the smirk on Gaiev's face that made Ryo smile and go reddish, feeling hot all of a sudden. 

"I hope you like italian," he said, walking in to the kitchen. 

"No," Gaiev said, walking behind Ryo and leaning against the kitchen entrance, stripping Ryo with his eyes, "I would rather 'ave japanese-american dinner: much more enticing."

"Stop that, you're making me horny," Ryo laughed softly, his back turned to pay attention to the salad on the counter, part of what he was making for dinner. Suddenly, he felt Gaiev's hands on his waist, his lips next to his neck, and his breath close to his ear.

"Tha' is the point 'ere…" he whispered in a husky voice. Ryo turned around, his eyes fixated on Gaiev's lips, "It's been too long, luv…"

"You can resist a few minutes more… dinner is done…"

"Well then… dinner it is…" Gaiev kissed him, a deep and longing kiss that just expressed his desire to have something _more_ for dinner that night. And Ryo couldn't agree more.

Dinner was good. Ryo was a good cook after all. Gaiev teased him about him becoming a chef rather than a police officer, and that maybe he could get him a job at the coffee house as a cook, but then again, he would have to endure all the sexual harassment Gaiev would do at the work place. Ryo laughed at the idea, because he could just picture himself in the situation, more like those hentai mangas he'd seen in Bikky's possession once or twice. 

Gaiev's smile was… different.

It was weird. Ryo never noticed how wonderful was Gaiev's smile really. It was like looking at some magnificent picture of a landscape or something – a smile like non other. And he felt lucky and proud to be the one receiving that smile at that moment. Gaiev had the tendency of looking down when he got nervous, or shy; that's why, when Ryo just stared at him, Gaiev immediately did what he did and looked down on the empty plate and the half-filled glass of wine, a soft smile drawn in his lips.

"Wha'?" he asked.

"You have the most ­­­_amazing_ smile, you know?"

Gaiev laughed, half embarrassed, half happy for the compliment and took another zip of his glass of wine as Ryo said, "Can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything…"

"What's your favorite color?" God! He felt like such a high-school preppy boy!

Gaiev was taken aback by the question. He blinked a couple of times to shake off the surprise, "What?"

"What's your favorite color?"

"What kind of a question is tha'?"

"I want to know," Ryo giggled, "I want to know EVERYTHING about you…"

"Um… Purple, I guess… yeah. I like purple. And black. Both colors are good…"

"Cat or dog?"

"Dolphin."

"Chocolate chip or cookie dough?"

"Vanilla fudge"

"Chicken or beef?"

"Pork."

"You're weird!" and with this said, Gaiev giggled, "What's your favorite T.V. show?"

"I 'ate T.V. It makes me 'ead 'urt like a bloody bitch, and it gives me envy to see all those perfect families they always 'ave on sitcoms… I rather read."

"Any good books?"

"'Arry Potter…"

"Harry Potter?! You _like_ Harry Potter?!"

"Hey! Don't tease! I also like… other stuff…"

"Like?"

Gaiev took another zip of wine, "A Mexican writer – Sarah Sefgovich I think it's 'er name. I read a book of 'er once… I luved it…"

"You know Spanish?" Ryo arched an eyebrow.

"No," Gaiev laughed softly, "Bu' a good friend o' mine did an' she also loved that author, so she translated the book for me… It's called… "Too Much Love"…"

"What's it about?" Ryo looked interested, and as Gaiev spoke, the words seemed to have a lot more meaning to him then they apparently had. Ryo wondered about it, but didn't take much into it…

"It's about two sisters who 'ave a dream of going t' Italy an' set a guest 'ome there… One of the sisters, the small one, goes. The other stays behind t' support 'er, send 'er money t' get the guest 'ome started. And you know about it because 'alf of the book takes place in letters she sends to the sister, telling 'er all about 'er boring life as a secretary, until one day she goes to a restaurant an' a guy offers 'er money t' sleep with 'im. And she does. She becomes a prostitute, an' she tells the sister all of 'er adventures… But then, the other 'alf of the book it's about this guy she meets in the restaurant… a guy she falls in love so deeply, she follows 'im everywhere, all over Mexico. And she's one person from Monday to Thursday, bu' then from Friday to Sunday she's this guy's lover. And she doesn't care about anything else until one day she starts seeing 'ow their love, so perfect, begins to look bad. 'e never asks anything about 'er. And when 'e finds out she's a prostitute… 'e leaves… an' never returns. And then the sister finds 'erself so much in love with 'er country, she gives up on 'er dream of going to Italy… it's a beautiful book… when she writes about 'er trips around Mexico – you can almost taste everything she tasted, see everything she saw, feel everything she feels. Awesome book…" 

"Wow…"

"Yeah…"

"You have a favorite movie?"

"You're going to laugh"

"No I'm not, com'on! What's your favorite movie?"

"The Fifth Element…" and with this said, Ryo laughed deliciously as Gaiev took the last zip of his wine, "Ass…"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to. God! Well, at least it's not "Titanic" or something…"

"Gods no! I'm not _that_ gay! I still like a few explosions every now and then…" Gaiev said, lowering his eyes to look at what was left of the wine as Ryo's eyes where intimidating him in a way he couldn't explain. 

"Ok, ok… and do you have a favorite song?"

Gaiev looked up. It took nothing more than a glance across the table to get submerged in to a sea of lust; a lust so unlike any other neither of them had experienced before or after that moment. It was like wanting to touch the moon and knowing it was just across a table; a necessity of wanting someone so badly it could almost become pain, a pain so exquisite it could endure forever and neither of them would care. 

Yeah, the wine wasn't helping either.

Without a word, Gaiev got up and came walking to Ryo, getting rid of the sweater and shirt in the process. Ryo looked up and felt his arms so full when Gaiev melted down in to them, sitting on his lap, legs to each side, chest pressed against his so closely that Ryo could feel his heartbeat. Their lips locked, Gaiev's arms resting around Ryo's neck as their tongues danced to a new rhythm. It just felt good – it felt ­­_real_ good. Ryo moaned against the kiss, feeling his arousal increasing with every passing second; his hands traveled all over Gaiev's naked back, then to his sharp sides, then to his well-built abdomen, feeling Gaiev shudder under his slight touch. He left his lover's lips to travel down to his delicious neck and Gaiev leaned his head back, exposing the sensitive flesh to Ryo, _his_ Ryo, the one and only one who held his lust and passion in a single look, in a simple smile – a secret smile Ryo only used for him. 

Eternities all melted in to one kiss, a single touch, and a brush of warm lips Gaiev desired more than _anything_ in this world. It was like being brought to the edge of existence, a feeling so unreal that Gaiev wanted it desperately – ­_needed_ it to survive the madness he was going through. Strong hands carving paths of lust on his back held his entire existence tightly, and he wouldn't have cared for any of them if it meant Ryo would be there forever. His parted lips where not left unattended for long as Ryo reclaimed them once more. Again. Again. Again. The waves of ecstasy where crashing in his skin, whispering promises that he knew where going to be kept secretly locked inside moans and groans of pleasure and untamed lust. 

Ryo heard his lover cry softly as his teeth bit the soft skin of the collarbone, heavy breaths across his ear as Gaiev leaned closer to kiss his sides. He loved the way Gaiev sung and danced to desire's rhythm. He loved the way he would come alive, like an exotic firebird, embracing him with wings of soft fire that melted his insides. More. He wanted everything Gaiev had to offer. He wanted to feel the soul of the one who held the gateway to heaven in his eyes with the single touch of his fingers, and wished it were enough for those gates to open widely for him and him only. 

Gaiev then started to move, crawling down between Ryo's legs, and Ryo's mind went wild with expectation at what was going to happen. Teasingly, he undid the button on Ryo's pants as he continued to playfully tongue his navel, hearing the moans escape from his lover's lips, gasping for air, looking down at his treasured toy as he bit his lower lip to keep himself from screaming out in sheer pleasure. Gaiev pressed against his crotch to bite down on the zipper, pulling it down in a maddening slow pace and revealing the prize within. Ryo's hips went up to help remove the pants and the boxers that came afterwards, as he took one of Gaiev's hands and began to suckle on the fingers in a seductively way, in attempts to draw those eyes up at him, dark emeralds that where fixated on the hardening flesh in front. Ryo ran a hand gently through Gaiev's hair as he starts flicking his tongue hungrily at the slit, taking it in his hand softly, moving twirls around it and enjoying the salty taste of the precum already in the tip, leaving small patterns of kisses here, there, everywhere. Ryo moans louder as his fingers get strangled in Gaiev's hair; a moan that begs, that pleads, and Gaiev understands his language, licking the length from base to tip and vice versa, taking his own sweet time in doing it, a sweet torture that Ryo just loves and needs more than air. He pants softly, having no strength to move; he gasps and whimpers, moving his hips to meet with Gaiev's tongue. 

"Oh Christ!... Gaiev!" Ryo gasped at the sight of his dick being devoured by moist pink lips, hot lips that felt so good around his hardness, a heat that just made the need to end this delicious ache. 

Swallowing his lover up to the base, Gaiev suckles harshly, licking rings around the slit and rolling his tongue against it languidly. Ryo gasped sharply as he watched Gaiev with a mixture of lust and adoration, running a hand through his hair, his hips moving gently towards Gaiev's mouth. Gaiev moaned softly, rubbing Ryo's cockhead on the back of his throat, embracing this feeling of ecstasy at giving Ryo ecstasy as he hears him gasp sharply at the feel of Gaiev's mouth sucking harder on the hot organ in his mouth, playing twirls with his tongue, scratching it softly with his teeth as his head moves to bring him to climax. Gaiev's hands caressed Ryo's balls with soft delicate touches, like the feathers of an angel, making Ryo pant and groan louder and louder, his hips bucking faster until he finally came, calling out his name blissfully as his fingers grasped his precious Gaiev's hair. Gaiev relished on the sweet taste of his lover's seed, drinking it all until Ryo's hips stopped moving, too weak to do so, to much in to nirvana to let it all fade. He crawled up, kissing Ryo deeply on the lips, allowing his lover to taste himself inside his mouth and hungrily, Ryo accepted this kiss as Gaiev's hands kept the beast within him still awake, wanting more, wanting Gaiev in the worse way possible… Ryo rested his head in Gaiev's shoulder, breathing fast as Gaiev's hands kept his work at a steady pace.

"God! I want you!" he moaned in to his ear.

"You have me," he heard Gaiev whisper with a husky voice.

And then, Ryo pushed Gaiev until he was on the table, kissing him madly, viciously, undoing Gaiev's pants in a matter of seconds as his lover wrapped his arms around his neck, also feeling the same need for savage, wild and untamed sexual perversion as he grasped Ryo's body with his legs and felt his lover lean over to grab the best lubricant they had on top of the table – butter. He screamed out of sheer pleasure when he felt his Ryo inside him. Oh! How complete he was! He shot his head back as he arched his back and felt Ryo's hands support himself on it, moving them at a fast pace, leaning down to kiss his lover's body wherever his fancy lead him. Gaiev's hands ran all over Ryo's arms, his nails leaving scratching patterns that Ryo didn't take notice of, calling his name over and over, between gasps and screams, groans and moans of pleasure his Ryo was bringing, over and over, with every move he made. He moaned loudly when he felt Ryo's hand around his own throbbing member, rubbing it in sync with his own thrusts, Gaiev squirming against him, holding him tightly, calling out his lover's name like it was some sort of sacred mantra, feeling his heart about to burst out at any moment, his pale skin shinning in sweat – his own and Ryo's. He's got the most beautiful face when he makes love and his passion overtakes him, and Gaiev gasps when he reaches climax, spilling all over his Ryo's abdomen and hand, arching his back as far as it can go as the pleasure overtakes him at the feel of his lover screaming out Gaiev's name in absolute passion, throwing his head off to the side as he orgasms deeply buried within him. 

Oh, the rush!

It became once more in the bedroom, names being called in bliss and pleasure, in passion. Sweat mixed in between the lover's bodies, making their souls become one, their hearts beat at a synchronized rhythm only matched by their powerful lust for each other. Slowly, it climbed down, bringing them both to the edge of existence once again, in the bedroom, and as they both embraced each other, the nirvana within them slowly converting in to sleep. The dark haired boy snuggled against the blond, feeling safe and complete with him in his arms. Ryo kissed him softly in the head, holding him tightly, as if he was afraid that he was dreaming and that he would wake up at any moment feeling empty and alone. 

"Good night, my love," he whispered. Gaiev's emerald eyes half opened and gave Ryo a groggy smile.

"G'night, luv…" he said, before drifting completely to sleep. Ryo sighed as he closed his eyes and snuggled against Gaiev, he too feeling his eyes heavy with sleep. 

… he would ask Gaiev about those burns in his neck… tomorrow….

Good night….

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Aaawww! Nicely done, don't you think? Tell me what you think! NEXT CHAPTER!!! Christmas is upon us! What will happen when Ryo finds out about Gaiev's "other" job??? Keep reading, my kiddies!!! 

Aaaahg!! Remind me never to do these chapters after watching "King of the Hill". Somehow I can't get the picture of Hank and Dale "performing" out of my head… and it's not pretty… not at all…

e-mail the panda rainy at al36662@alumnos.uacj.mx or at moonrainy@wildmail.com OR at DanielBlair_5@hotmail.com (I do answer to "e-fan mail" and some of you already know that… J )


	16. Crashing

Russian Blue 

Author's notes:  Doing this while waiting for my sister to come and pick me up. It's 2:37; she'll be here at 5:30. I'm supposed to be doing an English Spanish translation about Larynx for Horse Medicine, but don't feel like it. Anyway. Thank you all for reading and reviewing. It makes this all worthwhile.

Disclaimer:  FAKE belongs to Sanami Matoh. Other characters and plots belong to moi. The song, Crashing, is this story's song. It's by Gravity Kills.

Warning:  Hard core stuff that maybe kids shouldn't be reading. 

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Two days before Christmas...

Ryo was all excited by the idea of having Gaiev over for Christmas Eve... and morning... and probably night. He had traded Drake and Joanna (two of his co-workers) days off a while back and now it was sweet payback time. Now, as he had been prancing around, sharing the Christmassy spirit, he was known as "The Ryo of Christmas Present" because no one seemed more "infected" (Author's notes:  Uuuuh! I love that word, "infected") by the Christmas spirit more than he was: he even managed to set up a nice little tree at the precinct's main office. No complaints made over by Berkeley. The man just seemed to be a bit off with the Order case, so much that he hadn't even try to make an effort of jumping on the "Opportunity to kiss Ryo" wagon all week. Ryo was thankful for this, yet busy with the case too. So far, five more murders had taken place, most of them of hookers and dealers. A conection? 

"Most definitely," Drake told Ryo as they both where walking down the precinct's corridor towards Drake and Joshua's office, "We've found out some pretty interesting details about our Choir boys. They have... a catalog..."

"A catalog?"

"Yup... Say, where's your partner?" Drake looked around to see if he could spot Dorian anywhere near. Ryo shrugged his shoulders, looking somewhat indifferent.

"He said he'd be back in a while. His wife called over an hour ago - he didn't told any of the details...."

"Ass..."

"You don't get along with him, do you? Why? He seems like a good man..."

"A prick. He thinks he's some big-shot detective coming down to the misfit town to help us all and illuminate us with his merciful light. A prick that one. At least Dee was a lovable prick..."

Ryo chuckled at the thought of Dee being a lovable prick.  But yeah, the man _had_ been famous for these lovable ways. Ryo wondered what to cook that night as they both kept waking down the corridor. Maybe a nice pot-roast... or maybe turkey ... or ham... Gaiev said he liked pork. Ham it is! And what about the soothing candlelight? Oooooh last time he had soothing candlelight and cinnamon insense, they made kissy-face all night long, sheah baby! 

"Ryo, you're turning red, is there something wrong?"

Once inside the office, Drake handed him a thick organizer folder covered in black leather, "One of our undercover boys managed to get this," Drake spoke, "He says it's mostly minors, but there are also other expensive and exotic flavors there..."

"Wow!" Ryo exclaimed, flipping through the laminated pages, "My, my, my.... aren't we with an expensive taste? 15 000 g's a night?!"

"Yup. Quite the youngsters too, hum? I bet you most of these kids have been abducted or sold by poor families...  Hey! Look at that one!" Drake pointed out at one of the pictures of a young man dressed in nothing more than a long, black satin long-sleeved shirt, "He kind of looks like Dee!"

Ryo's heart just stopped pounding....

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_Mouth open tongue that I taste   
No lover can kill you this way   
Like poison I feel it drip down   
Take over - insanity makes no sound   
  
_

Devon (Author's notes: Hey! Remember Devon? Anybody?) blinked a couple of times at the pathetic sight in front of him. Gaiev was sniffling as he handed him the order and began to speak in a very low voice, dragged and aching voice, "Dad wid be a cup o' coffee and some bay..."

"Man, you look awful! You feel okay?"

"I feed as bad as I dook..."

"So, when's the funeral?"

"Ha - ha, vedy fuddy... Jus give me dhe fucking coffee, okay?"

"You should have stayed home, Gaiev," Devon said very seriously. Gaiev shook his head in a very doom-like expression.

"I can't. One more day off and I'm off fod dhe dest of dhe week. I don't want to be out of a job, Devon."

His beeper went off and as Devon fixed the coffee, Gaiev walked himself over to the payphone and dialed fast. A couple of rings and the voice said, "You got a gig tonight..."

"I can't... I feed veddy bad... I dhink I'm coming down wid somedhing..."

"Then go to the doctor, get some pills and meet your ride at the same place at 9:00, got it?" and then they hung up. Gaiev sighed and walked slowly to the counter. Devon was looking at him with sympathetic eyes.

"Couldn't get out of working graveyard at that club?"

"No. 't's all right. I'll be okay. Maybe I will die before I get dhere and I will sleep for a change!" Gaiev smiled as he picked up the tray. 

_That's all I'm getting. It's all but fitting   
You turn my meaning inside out   
  
  
_

A "gig". Gaiev began to hate that word. "Gig". It was a fuck. Nothing more than that. Devon had been enthusiastic when Gaiev told him the dirty little details of the last encounter with Ryo and if he closed his eyes, Gaiev could still smell the sweet, masculine aroma his Ryo had. He began to feel all tingly inside, a warm feeling now that he was thinking about his Ryo and the way his face looked when they made love...

No, wait... the warm feeling was more like a fever.

His face felt all red and his head hurt. It hurt even more when he saw Dorian walk in to the restaurant and he had to be the waiter who had to tend to his customer. Dorian gave him a very peculiar smirk when Gaiev stood in front of him, eyes fixated on his, a false grin struggling to show.

"Welcome to dhe Lemon Tree, I'm Gaiev, how can I help you?"

"Yes," Dorian spoke with a big wide smile, "I would like a booth, please. I have a bit of work to do," he pointed to the laptop he was carrying around. Gaiev tried (Oh Gods did he try!) to smile politely.

"We 'ave wideless intednet as an extra sedvice t' our customers... would you like me to 'ook you up, Sid?"

"Yes, that would be lovely, thank you"

He followed Gaiev to an empty booth at the far corner of the place. Once there, Dorian placed the laptop on top of the table and turned to face Gaiev, who was taking out his order pad and looked a little shocked at Dorian's words, "I really need to use the bathroom, can you show me where it is?"

"Sure. It's at the far end, to the right."

"Thank you. Five minutes..."

Dorian walked with a firm step to the bathroom as Gaiev watched him disappeared walking to the counter. Five minutes? What did that me--- Oooooh... No. He couldn't possibly... Or did he? Gaiev walked to the bathroom shortly after these thoughts came in to his mind. It was a one-person bathroom, which it was usually closed whenever someone was in there. It wasn't. Gaiev turned the handle and opened the door slowly, feeling the hand tightly in his arm, pulling him inside just to feel the cold barrel of the gun in his throat. 

"Good whore!" he heard Dorian comment as the door was being locked, "Now, suck me off..."

"Not 'ere!" Gaiev said, his voice a bit shaky as the gun was pressed against his skin. He had to restrain a painful groan when Dorian took him by the hair and forced him to kneel down, placing the barrel of the gun on top of his head. He wanted to cry but he wasn't going to give that fucker the benefit of seeing him do that. 

He didn't know exactly how long they where there, but it seemed to be going on forever to Gaiev, who just wanted to go back on the floor, taking orders and greeting people. He liked that. He didn't like _this_. The silent moans Dorian gave just made him feel sick, gagging a couple of times because he felt his stomach twirl and wanted to suck the chunks in. At long last it was over, and Dorian gave him a patting on the head as a sigh of satisfaction while throwing a tight roll of cash next to where Gaiev was kneeling, and after that he was out, nothing to say, just left. Gaiev knelt there, unwilling to move. Never in his entire life had he felt so dirty.

And that, felt by someone like him, had to mean something....

He feels just a tad better when 9 o'clock comes rolling by. He's taken something for the cold and it seems to have been working perfectly because the sniffles are gone, yet he still feels slightly feverish as the limo parks in front of the usual place. Instructions given, he walks himself to the elevator door, where a nice lady gives him a polite smile. Room 908. 908... 908... 908... Damn this elevator is going too fast! I don't want to be there, please, let it snap or something... 908...

The door opens and Gaiev finds himself inside a dark room. He fears dark rooms because they make him remember things he just wants to forget.... He closes his eyes to drown those memories, but the fact of the matter is that it's too late - one of them comes up like a flash of lightning bolting through his brain, making him quiver and shake unwillingly. He can hear the screams of agony and pain... He can feel the heat... He can smell the blood...

And just as fast, the memory dies. He has succeeded in repressing it once again. Good. It's good. He needs to continue to live and in order to do that he has to repress a lot of things going on in his mind. Suddenly, the light goes on - soft light of the nightstand next to the sofa in the little living room. Gaiev gasped and felt his entire soul being drained from his body at the sight of Ryo there, looking at him with murderous eyes.

_When it all comes crashing down   
Comes crashing down   
Your spirit dies inside   
When it all comes crashing down   
Comes crashing down   
Your spirit hides inside your dream   
  
_

He can't breathe all of a sudden. God! This has to be one of those dreams when you dream that you go to school naked and you have a surprise pop-quiz or something! Please let it be a dream! 

"So, it's true then," Ryo´s voice was drowning in anger - an undertone Gaiev felt to the core of this being.

"I-I can e-explain..."

"What?!" Ryo got up, trying hard not to lose control but failing miserably as he walked dangerously close to Gaiev until he was inches away from his face, "_What_ are you going to explain to me, Gaiev? That you're a hooker?! That you sell yourself to the highest bidder?! Hum?! That you're nothing more than a WHORE?!"

"Please, Ryo - it's not like that!!" Gaiev shouted back.

"It's bad when I call you Dee, right? Because he's my former lover, right? How many do you have, hum? One, two, three hundred? HOW MANY DO YOU FUCK, GAIEV?! TWO, THREE, FOUR A NIGHT?!" Ryo said, clenching his teeth as he grabbed hold on to Gaiev´s right arm.

"Let go of me!" Gaiev shouted, pulling his arm free, but Ryo grabbed the other one, pulling him even closer, "IT´S NOT THE SAME!" Gaiev shouted, "IT'S NOT THE SAME!"

"HOW? HOW IS IT NOT THE SAME?!"

"I DON'T LOVE THEM! I don't want - I don't want to _do them... I don't love them..." Gaiev began to cry, "I - I love _you_..."_

_Fear nothing lips turning blue   
So quiet whispering sex to you   
Far too busy for me to ignore   
Skin crawling, I want you to be my whore   
  
_

Ryo´s eyes where cold and soulless as they could possibly get. He'd taken hold of both of Gaiev´s arms, so close to him he could practically be kissing him at that moment. "I don't believe you," he hissed, "Everything you've ever told me has been lies, Gaiev... Nothing more than LIES..."

He kissed him. But it was a blunt and violent kiss, a kiss Gaiev didn't want. He tried to free himself from Ryo, yet the man had a strong hold even if he didn't look like it. They broke the kiss when Gaiev began to move a whole lot more, trying to escape the grasp of Ryo´s hands.

_A look so pretty, so fucking pretty   
I know you're ready to give me more   
  
_

"What's the matter?" Ryo said with a hurtful undertone, "I'm a customer, right?" he was pushing Gaiev on to the bedroom even though the dark haired man was trying to resist it, "Not so willing with me? I thought you had to fuck customers?!"

"No!" Gaiev exclaimed, "You're not my customer!" 

"Yes I AM!" Ryo shouted as he pushed Gaiev in to bed, releasing him as he went down. He felt betrayed, frustrated, angry, bust mostly hurt for what had been going on behind his back. He was breathing heavily when he said, "I'm more than that! I'm the IDIOT who fell in love with a LIE!" 

Ryo walked out and slammed the door behind him. Inside, Gaiev saw everything crumbling down.

_  
When it all comes crashing down   
Comes crashing down   
Your spirit dies inside   
When it all comes crashing down   
Comes crashing down   
Your spirit hides inside your dream   
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_@.@ what will happen next!? Find out!!!_

_al36662@alumnos.uacj.mx_


	17. Lie To Me

Russian Blue  
  
Author's Notes: Chapter 16. I am entering finals at school. Two more and I'm done, thank you very much, I'll be here all week and never again in this school. As of December 5th, I shall be a DVM. Kewl, hum? My mom bugs a little but because there is a big-ass plastic house inside my room where my niece plays and there's not enough room for her and me to be at peace. Yet it's funny. Yup. My mother is a little bit funny.  
  
Ok. So. Russian Blue, chapter 16. Moving along this story, chapters might become more and more harsh (yes people, I can make harsher chapters, sappier lines, tear-jerkers at all their might! Mua-ha-ha-ha!!! [laughs maniacally]) Yes. Everything is falling in to perfect space. my master plan. is working!  
  
Disclaimer: Fake belongs to Sanami Matoh. Other characters and plots belong to moi. This chapter's song is called "Lie to me" by Bon Jovi. Enjoy!  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
[...tell me baby, is this as good as life is gonna get  
  
It feels like there's a stronger standing in these shoes  
  
But, I know I can't lose me, 'cause then I'd be losing you...]  
  
I'm so upset.  
  
I have the right to be, right? I mean, Gaiev, the person I care about, the one person who is supposed to trust me and tell me everything has lied about... well...everything. Hell! He probably isn't even called Gaiev at all - that's probably his pet name...  
  
...the sheer though of it makes me want to throw up.  
  
What gives him the right to be angry at me for calling him a name; granted, it was bad, but still, this is a hole lot worse than me calling out Dee's name, right? I mean, God knows who is he thinking of whenever we make love...and it's not even making love now - I feel it more like another day, another fuck kind of situation now, not even special. God! I'm such an idiot for falling for someone like that! I'm such a complete idiot for thinking for one second that he - he - could love me! He doesn't even know the meaning of the word love! Love is - is trust, is caring, is caring for another person.  
  
But then again, why did he lied? There has to be a strong reason for him not to trust me enough to tell me the truth from the get-go, right? I mean, if you where with someone and you loved that someone deeply, you would share little secrets like this one, right? And it's not even a little secret, it's a big, ugly, mess, that's what this is.  
  
Inside, I know this hurts so much...because even though what happened...happened...I still love him so much. His absence only hurts more.  
  
Absence. Gee. It sounds as if it's been a long, long, long time since I've seen him...well, for me it is. It's been two days. In other three days Christmas comes along and it's really sad and pathetic that bad things always happen to me on Christmas. My parents died and now this. Yup. I'm like that character in the TV show "Friends", the one who seemed to be gay at first but then he got married to the psycho-cleansing maniac... you know the one. He hated Thanksgiving. Well, I'm beginning to see that I have enough to hate Christmas and be only a step away from becoming the Grinch (yup, I only need to surgically transform my skin to a greenish color...oh my God! I'm starting to sound delirious!)  
  
I wonder if he loves me. If he even thinks about me right now as much as I'm driving myself crazy thinking about him. Then my mind plays this little sick game called "let's make Ryo feel worse than he already feels" and begins to play tricks on me, telling me that if he did, he would of called by now, or show up at my door (I mean, we're neighbors, right? How hard can that be?) or maybe - just maybe - write a note. He hasn't; not for two hole days. And I hate him for that. I hate him because I can't love him anymore, because I can't stand here and bleed out while he's out there, fucking whoever pays the highest price for him, telling him the same things he told me over and over while we where making love, making them feel there's no one else but them that makes him feel as special as he feels at that moment, enjoying every passing second he spends in their bed.  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
[I ain't too proud of all the struggles  
  
And the hard times we've been through  
  
When this cold world comes between us  
  
Please tell me you'll be brave  
  
'Cause I can realize the danger when forgiveness fades away...]  
  
With this it makes it three cigarettes that I've smoked in the last one-and- a-half hour. That's a lot of smoking! I never used to smoke - in fact, I teased and bitch with Dee about the nasty habit. If he could see me now he would probably go all "how come you get to smoke and I always get the bitching and complaining about it?" and then we would probably get all tangled-up in some sort of meaningless fight that would just end-up with make-up sex (the best kind of sex) until neither of us could even talk. With Gaiev is different. I've never had make-up sex before...Ok, yeah, maybe. If you count the last time we had sex on top of the table, yeah, you could say that's make-up sex. Yet it was different. Or at least now I think it was. I don't know what to make of it anymore.  
  
This day started with me going to the office and wanting to talk to Dorian. He's been sort of my confident lately (in the absence of Carol and Bikky who have decided to take a nice two-week vacation and spend the holidays away and by themselves. Good for them!) and surprisingly he's been very nice and all. But, alas, I find that he's taken his vacation time and is nowhere to be found. So best next thing? I decided to talk to Drake this afternoon. Dunno why I did it, I just know I did. He seemed sympathetic about the hole ordeal. He also suggested that I go and talk to Gaiev, but I - it doesn't seem right, you know? I-I don't know. I'm going crazy. And my partner having asked for Christmas vacations ain't helping either. I wish Dorian was here. At least I had something else to be bitter about.  
  
I had it. I wanted to talk to him so badly that I decided to go up to his house myself and settle all this once and for all. I couldn't breathe all of a sudden as I stood there, having knocked on his door several times before I heard a weak "Coming!" from inside. I heard several cuss words after that. I waited anxiously for him to open the door, half expecting that one of his "customers" opens the door instead so I can have a fit of rampage and have some sort of license to kill or something, I don't know, I've been watching too many Bruce Willis movies. Why do I think about movies at a time like this, only God knows. Bitterly I want him to open the door and be with someone else, just to make sure everything I've been playing in my mind becomes a reality.  
  
At last, he opened the door. I had to restrain myself in order to seem cool about the situation. No. He wasn't with someone and no, no one else but him opened that door. He had bruises in his face, as if he had been hit hard over the left side, just below the eye. His wrists had marks of tight ropes of handcuffs and his neck - he had those distinctive marks I've seen before in many victims of strangulation over at the forensics department. His eyes had lost all that fire I loved about them, like a lost soul of something (someone?) who was once human. He looked at me as if nothing ever happened between us, and that - THAT was what hurt the most to see.  
  
"'ello," he said with a voice I could barely hear. He spoke with some sort of fear, I could tell, "What do you want?"  
  
"What happened to you?" I asked, alarmed. I didn't want to sound like that but my feelings betrayed me at the very last second. He looked directly in to my eyes as he spoke.  
  
"Well...one of my customers likes to play rough," he said with a bitter tone of voice, a voice that was drowning in something I'm certain where tears begging to come out but being denied to by pride, the same pride that was stopping me from holding him, kissing him and telling him everything was going to be alright. He lowered his eyes, trying to avoid my look of disgust, not for him, but for myself, for everything I've said to myself over and over again for the last hours. "I guess I must like it, right?" he spoke, almost accusingly, "Because I'm a whore and that what whores like, right?"  
  
[Pour another cup of coffee  
  
Babe I got something to say to you  
  
I ain't got the winning ticket  
  
Not the one that's gonna pull us through...]  
  
Outch. That... that hurt more than a thousand knifes being stabbed in my heart at once. I advance to him and try to hold him, but he steps back, rejecting me and turned away, "What do you want?" he said.  
  
"I want to talk to you," I reply. He opened the door widely, signaling me to step inside. I sit down in the couch next to the one he sits. On the coffee table there are several bandages and a jar of ointment that reads "Mamisan"((, Pfizer) on the label. It stinks like hell, but apparently it soothes the pain he must feel on the wrists as he splatters it delicately.  
  
"So?" he asked after several minutes of silently witnessing the ritual, "What you want to talk about?"  
  
"About everything," I said. His eyes where like two daggers stabbing against my soul.  
  
"Everything?" he asked, "What exactly is everything?"  
  
"I want to know...everything, Gaiev. I want to know what the hell is going on here...I want you to tell me...what is going on here..."  
  
"Why should I tell you?" he said, returning to the ritual of healing, "It's not as if you've listened before...why should this time make any difference?"  
  
I don't know exactly how to reply to that. I just sit there, feeling completely stupid at the question, my mind trying desperately to confess to feelings I wish I never had. I hear him sigh and get up, "Do you want some water, soda, milk, boose?" he asked. I turn to face him.  
  
"Water would be nice, thanks".  
  
He nodded and walked away to the kitchen. Then, like an automatic pilot, my legs carry me over to the kitchen, where I find him, leaning against the counter, his head over the top kitchen counter and a painful expression on his face. I walk closer, silently, not wanting to scare him away. Not this time. Something inside me hurts to see him like this. Something inside me; I hurt to see him like this because I love him. And because I love him I slid my arms around him and held him close to me, feeling his reaction as soon as he feels this embrace, but doing nothing to get away from it. I placed a kiss on his neck and whispered, "Please, let me help you..." and these words make him turn around and face me, "Who did this to you?" I asked tenderly, kissing the un-voluntary tears that started to roll down his face, "Please, tell me who did this to you?"  
  
He shook his head and pushed me away. "You better go," he said silently, walking to the living room again. I follow. I'm not going to let him walk away from me, not this time. I take him by the wrist and pull him back to me, but all I get is a painful reaction because of the injured wrist. I immediately feel sorry about it as he took a few steps back. I hate the look of fear he has on his eyes.  
  
[No one said that it'd be easy  
  
Let your old man take you home  
  
But know that if you walk out on me that darling  
  
I'd be gone...  
  
If you don't love me - lie to me!!  
  
'Cause baby you're the one thing I believe  
  
Let it all fall down around us, if that's what's meant to be  
  
Right now if you can't love me baby - lie to me!!]  
  
------------------------------------------------  
  
Gasp! Next chapters...the truth...the consequences...the tears...all this and more!  
  
Note: Mamisan is actually an ointment used in cows and horses vs swelling and inflammation that actually works wonders in humans with arthritis and joint and muscle pain. The lab that carries this wonderful ointment is Pfizer labs.  
  
DanielBlair_5@hotmail.com 


	18. You must love me

Russian Blue  
  
Author's Notes: Wooooow! Chapter 17 already! 17 or 18? Can't remember. Can't think right. I am still a sleep. Yesterday was the Graduation ceremony and ball. I am so tired! :6 Yet so happy. So very, very happy. Thank you all for reading and keeping posts on this story. Again, for most of you who don't read my profile. There is a story in Fictionpress.com, "Sentimental Journey". This is the before Gaiev met Ryo story, for you who wonder what Gaiev was like and what exactly happened to make his life like it is now. It's a very nice story, very touching, if I must say so.  
  
Disclaimer: Fake! And it's characters belong to Sanami Matoh. Russian Blue plot and extra characters belong to me. If anyone has a problem with this, you can tell me. I'll ignore you, yes, but you can still tell me. I kid Connan!!! Anyhow, the song is called "You must love me" as sung by Maddonna in the movie Evita. (o though I'm listening to ABBA right now... odd...).  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------  
  
Ryo softly kissed Gaiev's head as he slept peacefully on his lap, all curled up like a baby, seeking a sense of protection in Ryo's embrace. He'd been crying a lot lately, some of those tears that same night, when Ryo refused to leave until Gaiev came clean about his life, about his work - about them.  
  
[Where do we go from here? This isn't where we intended to be We had it all, you believed in me I believed in you  
  
Certainties disappear What do we do for our dream to survive? How do we keep all our passions alive, As we used to do?]  
  
* * * * * * * *  
  
(Then...)  
  
"D' you want a cup o' coffe, Ryo?" Gaiev had asked Ryo, a few hours before, "Because it's going to be a long night..."  
  
"Sure... Coffee sounds great."  
  
Gaiev stood, uncertain of what to do untill Ryo asked him what was wrong. "It's just that... Could we - could we go to your place to talk? I - I don't feel comfortable doing this 'ere..."  
  
"Sure".  
  
Once they where in Ryo's place and the cups of coffe where on top of the little coffee table Ryo had in his living room, They sat on the floor, Gaiev holding a pillow tight, in a way that Ryo was reminded of himself whenever Dee wanted to get something out of him.  
  
"I'm listening," Ryo said softly, taking a zip of the cup. Gaiev's eyes where fixated in the coffee's smoke, dancing away in to nothingness and a couple of minutes passed by before he heard Ryo say, "Gaiev?".  
  
"I'm tired, Ryo..."  
  
"Tired?"  
  
"I'm tired of everything... living, mostly. But tired..."  
  
"Don't say that, Gaiev!" Ryo felt a bit upset to hear him speak those words. Ok, so he felt a lot upset, more than upset, right down angry.  
  
"It's the truth. I thought you wanted me to speak with the truth. Do you want to 'ear the truth, Ryo? Or do you want me to pretend, like I do with so many, every night, in different beds. I can be anyone you want. I can be the stranger who 'ides to rape you, I can be the shy school boy you 'ave a crush on. I'm a pretty good actor... Sorry," he said when he caught a glimpse of Ryo's face, "I didn't mean to upset you..."  
  
"It's a little too late for that, don't you think? Now. Let's start from the beginning..."  
  
" 'ave you ever feared, Ryo?" Gaiev asked, half lost in his own little world, half of him in anger, not with Ryo, but with himself. Ryo was taken a bit aback by the question, but recovered almost in a hurry and shook his head, " 'ave you ever LIVED in fear, Ryo?"  
  
"No."  
  
"It's not pretty. You live in the fear of what's going to 'appen tomorrow, if others are going to be spared thanks to your actions, if people are going to live if you die. To feel that every blow you receive you deserve because you probably did something wrong... To feel that your life... your life is not yours, but it belongs to whomever you fuck that night...  
  
"It seems I've lived my 'ole life in fear. Those good days filled with sunlight seem so far away, like a fairy tale my anya told me when I was very, very young, where a girl who was poor cried and 'er fairy godmother came to grant 'er the wish to meet 'er prince. And then she woke up and found 'erself submerged in an underground world of sex, drugs and prostitution she couldn't get out or else 'er loved ones would die. She 'ad to watch some of them die before she made the choice to believe they where speaking the truth. And even though she cried out to 'er fairy godmother every night, she wouldn't show up because she too was afraid...  
  
" I can't remember when was the last time I 'ad a nice dream, but I do remember the first nightmare, when they killed my brother, in front of our 'ouse... and it's a nightmare I've been living with for as far as I allow myself to remember... because... because if I remember the good days, then I would 'ave to believe I was once alive... and to believe that is so painful!"  
  
He began to cry. And those tears where the most painful tears Ryo had ever seen in his entire life. Gaiev held the pillow so tight it would of burted out if Ryo hadn't move to hold him tight.  
  
" 'is name is Ivan Dante," Gaiev said once he calmed down. Ryo blinked a couple of times out of surprise.  
  
"Ivan Dante? The same Ivan Dante that sponsors all those charity events and that built the Children's Hospital?"  
  
"The same one. 'e's 'alf british, 'alf russian. 'e controls the entire operation, an undergroudn wire of drugs and prostitution running 'ere, in London and in Moscow. They trade and sell slaves, sell pornography, children, girls, boys... anything. 'e settled 'ere in New York a couple o' months ago, when I 'eard from 'im... They say he's got strong conexions with the russian mafia..."  
  
"I don't believe this!" Ryo muttered in an undertone, "Why do you keep doing this?"  
  
"Because I'm afraid. I'm afraid that if I don't, they'll kill you, Alex and Alexeyena... like they killed my family, my friends... my Alexei. I'm in love with you - I can't 'ave them know that!"  
  
"Or else I'm dead?"  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
There was a small silence, broke by Ryo when he said, "I can help you. We can bring them down, but for that, you're gonna hafta trust me here, you're gonna hafta be able to cooperate with me... you could get rid of your fears if you could only let me help you, Gaiev."  
  
"The last person who said that ended-up dead. Do you want to die, Ryo?" Gaiev asked in anguish. Ryo shook his head firmly.  
  
"I want you to live" he said, with words that rang through his mind. He gave Ryo a groggy and shy smile. He wanted him to live.  
  
" 'ow?" he asked. Ryo smiled and picked up his cel phone from the nightstand next to the sofa. Not soon after he'd dialed a number in the speed dial, he heard a voice on the other end, "Hello?"  
  
"Chief Rose? Good evening, this is Ryo..."  
  
"Ryo? What happened?"  
  
"Remember that dinner you offered the other day? Well, how about now?"  
  
"NOW?!"  
  
"Yeah! Have a pen and paper, I can give you my address..."  
  
"Yeah! Ok!"  
  
After giving the address, Ryo hung up as Gaiev just looked at him with a puzzled look. "The chief is on his way..." Gaiev smiled, but soon after that smile broke in to a frown. Ryo came closer, "Hey, hey, it's going to be okay..."  
  
" 'ow do you know that?" was Gaiev's desperate response, " 'ow do you know that, Ryo? I'm so afraid, not for me, but for YOU!! I wasn't afraid before!" he sobbed out, "I wasn't afraid because I had nothing! NOTHING! There was nothing left afterwards! But then - then I fell in love with you! And suddenly I had something! I was in love! And it kills me to think that maybe - that maybe one of these days you're going to end-up dead because of me!!"  
  
"Gaiev..." the dark-haired boy cried openly in to his shoulder. Was that it? Was the love Gaiev felt toward Ryo torturing him so much he felt he was dying inside?  
  
"God!" he sobbed, "I wish I was never born!"  
  
"Don't say that!" Ryo took him by the shoulders, obviously upset, trying to hold back tears that where already shinning through his eyes.  
  
"I wish I was dead!" Gaiev cried out histerically as Ryo shook him a couple of times saying, "Stop it! Shut up! Shut up!" without having an apparent reaction in Gaiev, who continued to sob softly 'I wish I was dead' over and over until eventually Ryo held him tightly, almost too tight, burrying his face in to Gaiev's neck, whispering, "I love you... I love you..." as Gaiev continued to sob until he finally fell asleep in Ryo's arms, and once he did, Ryo felt the necessity to cry in silence, because he didn't want Gaiev to see him crumble down.  
  
[Deep in my heart I'm concealing Things that I'm longing to say Scared to confess what I'm feeling Frightened you'll slip away  
  
You must love me You must love me]  
  
* * * * * * * *  
  
(Now...)  
  
Oh desilusion when a half asleep and puffy-eyed Gaiev opened the door and Berkeley just stared at him, half in shock. "Wow! You're in it too?" he said, "I never though Ryo was in to these kinky scenarios..."  
  
"What?" Gaiev arched his eyebrows and was about to slam the door in Berkeley's face when Ryo came from behind, waving and smiling.  
  
"Come in, come in. Please, let me take your coat (thank you) please, sit down, sit..."  
  
"Ryo, mind telling me what the hell is going on here?" Berkeley asked as Ryo hung the coat on the closet and Gaiev walked over the couch, sitting and stretching his legs under the close watchful eye of the Comissioner.  
  
"Oh, well. I had to bring you here without suspicion," Ryo said seriously, "We've got something here, Comish"  
  
"Something?"  
  
"He's Gaiev. He's one of the... "expensive dates" in the catalogue Drake found the other day, remember? The one we believe The Choir is moving around?" and as Ryo spoke, Berkeley's eyes widened, looking at Gaiev with astonishement. Gaiev looked at Ryo with total devotion, yet turned his eyes to picture Berkeley, trying to tattoo his face in his memory just in case something went terribly wrong and he had to clobber his hatred on to someone else.  
  
"So... You think you can help us out here?" Berkeley asked once Ryo finished the story.  
  
"Only if you can 'elp me," was Gaiev's response, "I'm not going to put my ass on the line for something uncertain, and I'm surelly not going to put Ryo's life or my sister's in danger either..."  
  
"We're going to need some bugs," Berkeley said, thinking about the next move, "But we're also going to need some evidence, phone taps, anything... Ryo, see if Dorian can come up with - "  
  
"No!" shouted Gaiev, "Not Dorian! 'es one of them!"  
  
That made Ryo and Berkeley turn around, looking at Gaiev in shock as Gaiev knew he'd made a terrible mistake himself. "What was that?" Berkeley asked. Gaiev looked at Ryo with lost puppy eyes (^.^ you know the kind!) as Ryo too was looking at him as if a bucket of cold water just hit him.  
  
" 'e... Dorian... 'e's... 'e's one of them... 'e's the Angel of Death - 'e's the one who does the murders for the Choir..."  
  
"Shit!" Berkeley barked out as Ryo rushed to Gaiev's side.  
  
"Are you sure?" he asked him desperately, "Gaiev, are you certain of this?"  
  
"Yes I am. 'e's told me tha' 'imself lots of times..."  
  
"Can you confirm it?" Berkeley asked, recovering his coldness.  
  
"Confirm?" Gaiev sounded confused.  
  
"Are you willing to place a tag on it? Wear a wire even? Catch the conversations on tape?"  
  
"Yes," he sounded firm in his belief, "I can. I can even convince others to do so with other clients if you want."  
  
"Perfect!" Berkeley got up and took his cell phone to make a call as Ryo looked at Gaiev. It needed to go down as soon as possible and just as Berkeley told them this, Gaiev's beeper started beeping. He looked at it and smiled.  
  
"I've got a call," he said showing the number at Berkeley, who took the beeper and frowned.  
  
"It's Dorian's cell phone number," he said just as Gaiev dialed up the numbers in Ryo's phone. They both turned when they heard Gaiev speak.  
  
"I go the message, what is it?... I'm not in the mood... I'm... I'm just tired... no... No... (sigh!) Where? Ok..." he hung up. He turned to face them both, "He says he's meeting me, tomorrow night, at the Grand Plaza, room 303..."  
  
"I'll go to the precinct then, to pick up some guys and equipment. We'll be there to back you up in case things get messy," Berkeley said and Gaiev nodded, "Ryo, you better stick with him, just in case he needs protection. I don't want our little wonder boy dead before he can deliver the goods."  
  
Berkeley stepped out of the appartment. Ryo had a funny feeling about all of this. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to rush in to things. Maybe they should wait a bit longer. Maybe...  
  
He looked at Gaiev, who was unwrapping his injured wrist with a clear expression of pain in his face. "Here," Ryo said softly, taking the hand between his own and carefully doing the job. He felt Gaiev's head leaning against his shoulder, silently but lovingly at the same time. Ryo sighed at the smell of Gaiev's soft cologne and the feel of his hair brushing against this neck. His breath was soft and warm, and his lips where inches away from the sensitive skin of Ryo's neck.  
  
"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked. He was concerned about Gaiev's safety after all.  
  
"I owe it - to you..." Gaiev said with a weak smile.  
  
"To me? You don't have to do anything for me if you don't want to do it, Gaiev. You don't owe me anything"  
  
"Yeah, I do" Gaiev lifted his head to face Ryo's eyes. His voice quivered sligtly, and he went tense as he continued to speak, "You see... the one who does this?" he pointed to his injured wrist, " 'is name is Dorian. And do you know how he calls me? 'e calls me "Dee" because it reminds 'im of the lover 'e once 'ad..."  
  
"What? Dee was his lover?" Ryo sounded shocked, but nothing could compare the expression he had on his face when Gaiev said the next words.  
  
"Yeah, 'e was. Ryo... Dorian... Dorian's the one who killed 'im, Ryo... That was no bank robbery; that was just plain murder..."  
  
[Why are you at my side? How can I be any use to you now? Give me a chance and I'll let you see how Nothing has changed  
  
Deep in my heart I'm concealing Things that I'm longing to say Scared to confess what I'm feeling Frightened you'll slip away  
  
You must love me You must love me]  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------  
  
Gasp! What will happen? See next chapter! See it all!  
  
Final Notes: I changed my e-mail address (the old one was al36662@alumnos.uacj.mx) because, well, I'm no longer a student at the university, so probably coming next semester this e-mail will no longer be valid. So, if you want to contact me, you can do so at the other two mails I have. And yes, I do reply to them as soon as I can.  
  
Moonrainy@wildmail.com DanielBlair_5@hotmail.com 


	19. Lullaby

Russian Blue

Author's Notes: Wow. Everyday, Fanfiction is becoming more and more bitchy. First, they take away the NC-17 rated stories, now, bye-bye little breaks in stories. They say we cannot use chapters as a break for the stories. Well, so much for freedom of speech, neeh? Anyway, I am very happy – finally got the Fake #4. YEY! Soooo cute!! I am having a bad manga affair with this manga and Demon Diary (I love Ranaef and Eclipse!! ^.^)  Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Hey guys! You haven't been reviewing @.@ Please review! Your reviews lead me to good or bad decisions in the making of this fic! Thanxs for reading!

PS:  Sorry about the bad grammar. But I'm working on it. Oh! And pleeease, go and check out "Sentimental Journey" at I assure you, this story will make you take a glimpse of Gaiev's life before he became the depressive nut he is today.

Disclaimer:  Fake! Belongs to Sanami Matoh. All other characters and plots belong to me. The song, "Lullaby" is by Shawn Mullins. Enjoy.

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Christmas... New Years... They all went by as if it was just another day. Bringing down the Choir had been a tougher job than they had all expected, specially for Ryo, who had to keep working next to Dorian to keep all suspicions out of order. Something deep inside burned every time he saw that bastard walk down the corridor of the 27th precinct, and he was sure he wasn't the only one feeling that way, after all, the recordings of the December 25th enconter with Gaiev had been heard by almost everyone at the Investigations department.

_"Tell me... tell me why you did it... why Dee? Are you going to do the same with me eventually?"_ Gaiev's voice panted between moans and heavy breaths.

_"Dee is dead... because he wasn't fair... because he betrayed me... but you... you could never betray me, right? You're mine! I only let that idiotic pain Ryo borrow you for a while... you're mine... Ia tebya imeyu..._(*)_"_

_"Then... tell me you love me..."_

_"Zacroy svoy peesavati roat, sooka!_(**)_" he screamed before slapping him hard, __"No one could ever love a bliad'(***)__... Not even Ryo... Whatever he tells you – it's out of pitty..."_

_"Liar..."_

_"Past' zabej, padla jebanaja!_(****)_" another blow was heard over, then another, then another. Gaiev's painful muffles came through Dorian's voice, __"It's not your place to speak, only to be fucked. So, shut your pretty little mouth or else your death will look like an accident..."_

_"Like... Like Dee's was?" _Gaiev spoke with a broken voice.

Ryo stormed out of the conference room, outside. He needed air. He needed air. Oh, blessed air! He needed a cigarette. Goddammed Carol and her "living healthy" policy! He needad a cigarette, badly. He would kill for one. In fact, that hobo on the corner was smoking one – he could come up behind him, clobber him with the revolver and take the cigarette, no one would care; he was just a hobo, right? Right? Right? 

"You alright?" a voice said. He turned around quikly. Drake was offering him a cigarette. Oh, blessed Drake and his perfect timing! Ryo took the offering with shaky hands and as he gave the first puff to the cigarette and it seemed Ryo puffed in half of it in one take, "I guess you're not alright," Drake said with a worried voice. Ryo giggled bitterly.

"Define 'fine', Drake"

"Forget it."

"I can't take this anymore. It's been weeks. Weeks! And that bastard still comes in and out everyday, as if nothing has happened, laughing in our faces, mocking us! And meanwhile, Gaiev gets the living shit beaten out of him every night!" Ryo said, exasperated, his jaw tenshing slightly as his eyes darken even more, "And I haven't been able to see him!! To speak to him!! Nothing!" he hit the wall with a closed fist, an action he later regreated as his hand swelled up almost twice its size. He leaned against the wall and slid down, hitting the floor a few seconds after.

"I know," Drake said, trying to confort Ryo as much as possible, o though he knew this was rather impossible, given the circumstances, "I imagine it must be though on you – both."

"Have you seen him?" Ryo muttered miserably. Drake sighed and nodded, leaning against the wall right next to where Ryo was sitting and slidding down himself, "Just this morning. Diana is going up there to check on him tomorrow night..."

"How is he?"

"Well... I won't lie to you Ryo, he's not good. But he does want to go on with this..."

"God!" Ryo sighed in desperation, "Why can't this go any faster?"

"We can't rush it or else we might tip off someone – mainly Dorian. But fear not, little Ryo," Drake sounded playful yet vendictive, "We're gonna get them. All of them. For Dee, for Gaiev, for everything; the evidence is pilling up and any day now, we're moving in. That has to count for something, right?"

"What if he ends-up dead before we can do anything about it?" Ryo's eyes glittered with tears. He'd thrown away what was left of the cigarette and was now resting his chin on his knees and hugging his legs close to his body. Drake threw an arm around him and leaned Ryo closer to him, in a very fatherly fashion.

"It'll be alright, Ryo. Don't you start thinking all these nasty thoughts, you hear me? It will be alright..."

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Water running. No sounds bu' those o' the radio coming out of the kitchen. Not too loud. We don't want to make noises, we don't want them to know we're `ere, alive an' well. Well, tha' 'well' is t' be taken lightly. We don't know if we're ok. We're probably not, since we're talkin' in a group basis, no' in a lonley "I" status. "I'm okay", "I'm `ere", "I'm alive". That just doesn't sound right, does it? Nothin' does. Nothin' ever sounds right if we're alone, if `e's not `ere with us. (laughs softly) We wonder what `e would say if `e could see us now. A pathetic remembrance of a someone we used t' be. D' you remember Alexei? Yeah, we do. `e used to sit on `is desk, `ours and `ours, just looking at pictures through `is little lens. `e used to do it at night, so no one would disturb `im – `e `ated to be disturbed at work. Ok, maybe th' only ones who could disturb him were us, because we used to pay-up that disturbance with sex. No, not jus' sex – love. Remember? There's a difference.

Alexei Balch. `e was a photographer. Micka was th' one who introduced us to `im. Remember Micka? Yes. We remember Micka. `e `ad blond hair an' gray eyes, right? `e was our best friend – up t' the very end. Why don't you call `im? What for? I said good-bye to `im t' save `is life, why should I endanger it once again? Call `im. `e might find it soothing t' find tha' you're still sort o' alive...

One ring-a-ding-ding...

Two ring-a-ding-ding...

Three ring-a-ding-ding...

_"Allo?"_

Allo, Micka..

_" Allo?... gavarIte grOmche! _(*****)_"_

It's been a long time, `asn't it?

_"... Gaiev?"_

[Click!]

Coward. 

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

You should quit this shit, Gaiev, it's only screwing with your mind. 

Look at us. 'e really beat the crap out of us this time, neeh? `e left the bruices on the neck an' the arms t' make everyone know we're `is property. Shit! `e even left a bite mark! 

An' that's why you're doing what you're doing? To forget? 

Shhh... this is your song... see why is this your song? 

Yeah.

Sing it t' me? Change th' lyrics so it can be my song, please?

_'e grew up with the children of the stars _

_in th' moscow snowed hills an' th' boulevards_

_`is parents threw big parties, everyone was there _

_they hung out with folks like dennis hopper, _

_bob seeger, sonny and cher _

You're dancing now?

Dance with me. Sing t' me an' dance with me? `old me close and dance with me?

_`e still lives in that old place, just outside the city _

_down that street about a half a mile _

_an' all `is friends tell`im `e's so pretty _

_but `e'd be a whole lot prettier if `e smiled once in a while _

_`cause even `is smile looks like a frown _

I've seen my share o' devils in this angelic town... Bu', everything's gonna be all right, right?

_I told `im I ain't so sure about this place _

_it's 'ard t' play a gig in this town and keep a straight face _

_seems like everyone`ere's got a plan _

_it's kind o' like Nashville... with a tan..._

Is everything going t' be alright? 

You tell me. 

... is not, is it? It's not going t' be okay, is it? What if I die now? Would it make a difference in the outcome? Would Ryo miss me? Would `e care at all? 

Does `e love you?

Who?

`im. Ryo. Does `e love you?

I don't know... I don't know! I don't know anything anymore! 

You know who you are... you know _what_ you are... why should 'e love a thing like you? Why should 'e be in love with a filthy _whore like you?_

... I don't know...

[Knock, knock knock] "Gaiev?" 

You left the door open...

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Diana Spacey entered with a bit of hessitation to Gaiev's house. The door was open and Gaiev was lying on the sofa, all streched out, his arms on top of his head. He had no shirt on and the heater wasn't on (translation = it was freezing cold) But Diana was more disturbed by the sight on the coffee table, where she found a needle and what was left of the heroin on a metal spoon and a lighter. 

"Gaiev?!" she gasped, her eyes going wide. She heard the water running in the bathroom, the music in the kitchen, the sounds of television coming from the bedroom. She rushed to Gaiev's side, shaking him slightly, "Gaiev, are you high on this shit?"

"No' really," Gaiev replied groggily, "I still feel pain..."

"Shit! You're stinking high man!"

She walked in to the bathroom and turned off the water, made her way to the bedroom, turned off the TV and then came back to the livingroom, with a sweatshirt in her hand, throwing it to Gaiev, "Here! Put this on!" she said. She sounded upset. Gaiev started to obey, going slowly but surely to the goal of putting on the shirt as Diana turned on the heat in the room. 

"Ryo's worried about you and you're doing this crap, how long have you been doing this, Gaiev?" Diana asked, sitting next to Gaiev and showing him the needle. Gaiev looked over, trying to remember. 

"About a month now. I don't know. Could be longer. I can't really tell now. It seems time 'as forgotten this flat."

"Why?"

"Why?" Gaiev smirked bitterly as he got up and walked around the room, "_Why? To feel no pain anymore!" he shouted, sounding melodramatic. He stopped next to the dinning table and taking everything in sight, he began to throw it against a wall, the sounds of broken glass crashing through the air as he screamed to the top of his lungs, "BECAUSE I WANT TO FEEL NOTHING!!! NOTHING!! BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO FEEL THIS STUPID – EMPTY – HOLLOW FUCKING SPACE INSIDE ME!! BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO FEEL DISGUSTED WITH MYSELF EVERY FUCKING SECOND OF EVERY FUCKING PASSING DAY!! BECAUSE EVERYBODY DIES!! EVERYBODY EVENTUALLY DIES!!! AND DIES!! AND DIES!!! BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING MORE TO ME BUT A WHORE!! A FILTHY, DISGUSTING, FUCKING WHORE!!"_

He dropped to his knees, crying outloud while Diana just looked over the mess, feeling scared at first, but then getting hold of her emotions. She walked over to Gaiev, kneeling to one side of him and Gaiev, as if it was an automatic move, clenched over to her, crying wildly on to Diana's chest, feeling a strange confort by doing so, as if he was crying to Alexeyena... or his mother. 

"Shhh... everything will be alright," Diana whispered, "We're ready for them now. This will soon be over – I promise. But you have to hang on too... for Ryo... for the both of you. Please... promise me you'll hold on a little longer, please?"

She stroke Gaiev's hair as she spoke, trying to calm him down, and it was actually working. Slowly, Gaiev stopped crying, making only strong sobs as he laid his head down on her lap, closing his eyes and beginning to drift to sleep, "Why is everything so screwed-up? Why couldn't it be normal? Why did it had to be like this? Why?"

"It'll be alright..." she whispered, "I promise you... it'll be alright..."

"Sure..." he whispered, sleepily, sounding unconvinced. He wanted to sleep. Because only in his sleep he could really forget everything – forget the pain.

Finale notes:  Ok. Rough chapter to pull through. I hope you people are enjoying this. Oooh! What will happen when Ryo finds out about Gaiev's mingling with drugs? A-ah! The plot thickens! ^.^

Russian expressions

* = You're my bitch (I'm having you)

** = Shut your fucking mouth, bitch

*** = whore

**** = Shut the fuck up, you fucking bitch

***** = Hello? Speak up please!


	20. Duvet

Russian Blue

Author's Notes:  I just received the news that a good friend's (almost sister) dad is not doing so good. My prayers (even though they're not very frequent, they do go out with all my heart) go out to this man. And to my friend? Well, I can't say anything else but that I am here for you – no matter what.

At another level. Thank you so much for your kind words. I can't say that enough. I have received many reviews, much more than I had expected for this story (quite honestly, I never expected to gather +10 reviews out of this story... and wow! Now it has 72! Amazing!) and I hope that in future projects you are all here with me as well. This story, however, has a personal feeling to it to some of you. To all those people who have been somehow touched by this story, I want to thank you for the words of encouragement. Now. On with this. 

PS:  Happy hollidays, everyone!

Disclaimer:  Fake! Is owned by Sanami Matoh. Other fictional characters and plot belongs to me. The song, "Duvet", is sung by an unknown source right now, but it's featured in the soundtrack for the anime "Serial Experiments Lain"

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Gaiev gave the last smoke to the already finishied cigarette, just outside the Plaza Hotel, where a group of undetected cars had been parking, like it usually was when it was tourist season in New York City. He looked around, figuring out just what the hell he was doing there, but remembering just as fast, like a ray of light had struck his brain and was now revealing the events. 

Tonight, tonight, tonight.

He felt confident. Andit wasn't the drugs speaking... Ok, maybe a little. He knew he'd promised Diana to quit, but he was certain that at some point of his life he would have to, either by rehab or by death, whichever came first. And in this point of his life? He was sure that the grim reaper was smiling at him from the lobby.

(*sigh*)

What are you gonna do, right?

The elevator seemed to be taken forever. Maybe it was expectation. Maybe it was anxiety. Maybe it was the fact that he hadn't pushed the button to what floor he wanted to go. God! He was so nervous. He felt like a virgin bride about to take the plundge in her wedding night with the wedding's best man. How twisted did that sound? 

He reached the room. God! Dorian was such a cliché. In every single room they'd been to it was always the same number. 309, 309, 309. He was sure the hotel had other rooms available, why this one? Maybe it had a special significance in Dorian's life – like, he'd care, right? He knocked on the door and adjusted the microphone in his jacket. Dorian opened the door soon after, smiling and stepping aside to let him enter.

"Come in," he said with a satisfied smile, "I'm so happy they gave you the night off today, you know, being Saturday and all..."

"Let's ge' this over with, shall we?" he said, taking off the coat, jacket and shirt, just another day at work kind of mode, "I still 'ave customers t' tend to, they didn't give me th' bloody night off, you ass..."

"Such temper!" Dorian mocked, "You know, that shit you put in your system only makes you bitter. Why not change to a – better – suited drive?" he said, clanging from Gaiev's arm and pulling him towards the small table next to the bed. There, all lined-up, where four lines of cocaine, just waiting to be sniffed. Gaiev looked doubtfully at Dorian, who smiled and took a taste, as he sat on the bed, bouncing a bit at the motion, "See?" he said, "I got this surprise for you. Nice and clean – none of that nasty skid mark leftover in your pretty little skin... It just looks – ikky."

"Well – I guess tha' finger marks on my neck an' bite marks on my shoulders look more dashing t' you, hum? Because, as you can see," he raised his head a bit to show the faint marks on his neck, "They're still there from th' las' time."

"Don't ruin this for me, Dee," Dorian sounded threatful, "Now, are you or aren't you going to join the celebration?"

"Wha' are we celebrating?" Gaiev asked, sitting next to Dorian, who stood up dancing around the room like he was in a ballroom, huming some strange melody Gaiev didn't recognize, "An' why th' fuck are you dancing around like a princess in the middle of 'er bloody coronation day?"

"Because it's our anniversary, silly!" Dorian stopped dancing all of a sudden, "Don't you remember? This was the *grand* first date we ever had, Dee!"

Gaiev rolled his eyes. Again with the "Dee" thing. He looked over at the lines of cocaine as Dorian approached him and threw an arma round his shoulder, "If it makes you feel better, I'll try the first line, okay?"

Dorian took the first two lines, throwing himself back on the bed, gasping and giggling like it was some sort of sweet candy he just took. Why not? He leaned forward and snorted a line... then the other one. God! It feel good! It felt like, like he was in heaven or something, but the nose thing – it was just too... ictchy? It wasn't supposed to be like this – not that he could remember. He brought a hand up to his nose. Blood? Why was there blood on hos nose? He laughed when it finally came to him. How fucking ironic! To die like this, with shit to his neck it was practically up his nose! Ok, it wasn't ha-ha funny, not even funny in any way at all, but then again, he had already taken a shot of heroin that same day, he was probably too high to care and notice if his train of thought was ha-ha funny or not. Either was, this was just F.U.B.A.R., like in that movie...(*)

"Shit," he heard himself giggle, "Bad shit, is it? You're going to make it look like a bloody accident, aren't you?" he said as Dorian had already gotten up, "Who would ever think of investigating the death of a drug-dependant whore who took some bad shit and died, right?"

"Happy anniversary, honey" he heard Dorian said. By the time he turned to face him, Dorian had pointed his gun at him... 

_I am falling, I am fading, I am drowning_

_Help me to breathe_

_I am hurting, I have lost it all_

_I am losing_

_Help me to breathe_

... and shot.

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Author's notes: Wooo! Thank you, to my hunnybunny! A very nice gift indeed! (Got The Beatles Unseen Archives – a book of over 600 photos!!! Thank you! ;*)

* - F.U.B.A.R. I heard it in the movie, "Saving Private Ryan"; it means "Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition" 


	21. Come Some Rainy Day

Russian Blue  
  
Author's Notes: Ohaaay people! Here you have, chapter 21. Wow. This fic is going great (I think) ok. According to my calculations, this fic will probably end in another 5 chapters more. So, enjoy, kick back and relax. I have a surprise ending planned for this one. You'll like, you'll see.  
  
Disclaimer: FAKE! Belongs to Sanami Matoh. All other characters belong to me. The song I'll be using in this chapter is called "Come some rainy day" and it's sung by Wynonna.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------  
  
Ryo insisted on going at that raid. He wanted to be the first one to handcuff Dorian, police protocol aside, and kick his ass with everything God gave him. He wanted to put his hands on Dorian so they could leave a mark stronger than the ones he left Gaiev with. Berkeley thought it might be bad if Ryo got his hands on Dorian, but he didn't blame the guy (after all, there had been a time when Berkeley would of done the same if someone had treated Ryo as Gaiev was treated by Dorian); he let Ryo go anyway. He was never able to say "no" to that man!  
  
"We have to stay put until he gives us the signal that every piece is in place," Berkeley instructed the team, "There are about ten customers at that hotel - it's 'staff' night; all of the rooms have a member - or two - of the Choir with a felony list as big as my arm. Be careful - most of them are hit men and are probably carrying guns."  
  
Careful? Stay put? Words that didn't make much sense now that Ryo heard everything that was going on in that room. When did Gaiev started using? He looked over at Diana with murderous eyes, the female FBI agent pretending not to take notice of this. Did Diana know anything about this and if she did, why didn't she tell him about it? Why was everything concerning Gaiev all a big secret to him all of a sudden? He couldn't help but to feel a bit betrayed by this - it was as if his boyfriend was suddenly government property, not to be tamper with, messed with or touched. It just pissed him off to be like this. He couldn't wait another second to have Gaiev back in his arms, kissing his lips, whispering how much he loved him in to his ear. He missed Gaiev - missed him in everyway that's possible to miss someone. But just hold on Ryo, he told himself, holds on a couple of minutes longer.  
  
How much does seconds ache when you haven't loved for entire months!  
  
"Shit. Bad shit, is it? You're going to make it look like a bloody accident, aren't you?" they heard Gaiev said. Berkeley gave the signal. They were to move immediately. This was unexpected. The paramedics where running behind the police officers, making their way up the stairs. Ryo's heart felt pounding as the radio in his ear kept on with Gaiev's words... "Who would ever think of investigating the death of a drug-dependant whore who took some bad shit and died, right?"  
  
"Happy anniversary, honey" he heard Dorian said. Then, he heard that gunshot that chilled him down to the core. No. This wasn't happening. He felt his entire being detach from his body and it was as if he was watching a movie in slow motion. The door came down and Berkeley shouted, "POLICE! GET YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!!" and the same was going on around the floor. Dorian was stunned by this but was forced to the floor by other cops as Ryo rushed to Gaiev's side. He was on the floor. The wound was in the lower abdomen, bleeding badly; his nose was bleeding also, and his eyes looked glassy, like they where there, but not really there. He was breathing harshly, gasping for every bit of air he could get in to his lungs.  
  
"Gaiev! God! Gaiev, answer me!" he heard himself scream. But it was not his voice; it was as if someone else was screaming in his place or something. He didn't know what to do but to place his jacket over the wound to stop it from bleeding. Paramedics came, taking over the situation; Ryo was being pushed back by Drake, who was telling him something in a very commanding voice, but Ryo wasn't sure what it was. Then, it was like lightning. He looked over at Dorian, who was taken in to custody, his hands cuffed behind his back, his head lowered, but looking over at Ryo, like laughing at the entire scene.  
  
Ryo ran towards him, gun in his hand. "BASTARD!" he screamed, hitting Dorian with the gun as hard as he could, knocking the other one off his balance. It took several officers to get Ryo off Dorian because as soon as Dorian hit the floor, Ryo was all over him, like a savage animal who wanted nothing more than to kill his pray. God it felt good to hit that bastard! Berkeley held Ryo back along with Drake once he was up, "Take him out of here!" he commanded, and Dorian was taken out of sight. Outside, the police cars where starting to fill out with members of the Choir, as the people gathered around to see what was going on, with morbid curiosity. Gaiev was taken in a paramedics unit, and Ryo soon followed.  
  
"Sorry," one of the paramedics told him, "Only family members are allowed." Ryo's eyes flashed with anger; he pulled out his badge and looked murderous at the paramedic.  
  
"This man is a key witness here and I'm not going to lose him to the likes of YOU!! The entire Russian mob is after him and I will not allow him to go unescorted!!" he shouted out. Again, Berkeley came to his restraining, followed closely by Diana and other FBI agents (who also participated in the operation).  
  
"RYO!" Berkeley barked, "Get your ass back here!"  
  
"Let him go!" Diana said, then talking to the paramedics, "He's practically the only family this boy has in the city!"  
  
They seemed to understand and as soon as Ryo was up, they headed to the nearest hospital, trying to keep Gaiev alive. He crashed once in the unit, but they where able to bring him back. They where told about his heroin addiction, and that he had a snort of bad cocaine - that he was in distress, but it all seems to matter so little when it comes to a life or death situation. And to Ryo it seemed forever to arrive at the hospital, where Gaiev was taken in to a trauma room while Ryo was taken to the desk, to fill up paperwork, to answer questions made by the clerk there, he understood it was part of the job, but it all seemed so needless to him at that moment.  
  
Suddenly, the room started spinning. Everything took him back to the day Dee died, to when the doctor came back and told him and JJ what Dee was dead. Dead. Not alive, but dead. Dead, dead, dead. Wasn't that a riot? He was alive one minute and the next he was dead, for no reason other than God said, "Let there be death" and there it was. And then the clear shot of JJ blowing his brains out, another one of God's pathetic attempt of a joke. Well, he wasn't going to take Gaiev away - not this time. He wasn't going to allow it. He needed Gaiev alive to feel himself alive as well; he needed Gaiev's words to make him from falling over the edge.  
  
"Officer MacLean?"  
  
He turned to see one of the doctors that had been working on Gaiev. Oh, lucky bitch! It was the same bastard as last time! Ryo swore that if he came with another 'We're sorry but we tried everything-'  
  
Ok. Gaiev had been taken to the OR. He wasn't out of the woods yet, but at least he made it so far. Were there any family members he could contact?  
  
Alexeyena. Where was that girl? Gaiev once told him she was with family, and even gave him a phone number, so Ryo didn't hesitate to dial the number. Alexeyena's voice was heard on the other end of the line. Ryo knew her voice just as well as he knew Gaiev's voice.  
  
"Alexeyena?" he heard himself say in a low voice, as if he didn't want to wake up anybody with his drowning sobs.  
  
"Yes, this is Alexeyena Borinskaya, who is this?"  
  
"It's Ryo..."  
  
"Ryo? What is it? What's wrong? Where's Gaiev?" she sounded almost frantic. Ryo sighed as he began to explain everything. He could hear Alexeyena on the other end of the line going ´Oh my God, oh my God' over and over, and over. He felt himself drowning in guilt and something strangely familiar to emptiness. If Gaiev was gone, he was left empty, as simple as that.  
  
Alexeyena would be on the next plane to New York.  
  
He waited what seemed hours before someone came to find him. He felt his soul leave his body at the sight of the doctor's face, you know the one - long and all out of color at the sight of the person who cares about the patient and he (or she) doesn't know exactly how to tell the bad news? Yeah, that face.  
  
"He's out of surgery," the doctor said, "But he's still unconscious. He crashed a couple of times in the OR... Right now he's in a very unstable condition..."  
  
Translation? Yeah, he could die anytime soon.  
  
God! Ryo hated doctors!  
  
But we move on And put those dreams away Hoping that we'll find them Come some rainy day...  
  
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Author's notes: Thank you so very much for reading this! I promise that next chapters will be to cry your pants out (I sometimes cry when I'm writing them, so that's GOT to be good) (  
  
Oooh! Yeah! Almost forgot. Go to my profile and click on the fictionpress address! As you can see, "Sentimental Journey" has changed its name to "Russian Blue: Days of Old" - I think a change is good.  
  
Ok. Happy Holidays everybody!  
  
DanielBlair_5@hotmail.com 


	22. Almost Home

Russian Blue  
  
Author's Notes: Chapter 22. Well, after the rush of the holiday season, the gifts, the burned turkey, the yams, the cranberry sauce, the cheesy x- mas music (which I love) now it's time to return to the real world. The "real" world. Such a cliché word! Oh well, alas, this chapter is dedicated to my good friend, Monica (AKA Tenshi). Hope you're doing as good as it gets my friend.  
  
Disclaimer: Fake! Belongs to Sanami Matoh and her people. Other characters and plots are my idea. The song is entitled "Almost Home", by Craig Morgan.  
  
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[...I was walking down an old dirt road Pass a field of hay that had just been mown man, I wish you'd just left me alone I was almost home...]  
  
For the first time in a long time, Gaiev felt complete. He felt safe, warm - he felt loved.  
  
He opened his eyes slowly, as if to savor the moment, the exact moment when he would see the light (the face of God, some might say, others just the beginning of a journey that begins when one dies) but there was no light, only shadows and darkness that wouldn't allow him to see beyond his nose, his hands, his existence. Then, slowly, the darkness began to shape: figures and lights, a warm feeling of belonging...  
  
... He was home...  
  
He was back in his old room, with his posters and plush animals. He was underneath his warm bed covers, with the images of birds on them, his arms wrapped around the big, squishy plush pony he had since he was a kid. He could smell the warm cooking coming from the kitchen, and it was all so heart-warming. He got up. He was wearing his moon, cotton pajamas, and his hair was all messed-up, like it usually was after a nice, long, good-night sleep. He looked outside the window: the snow covered almost all the street, the roofs and some of the cars parked outside. He could see the window of his front neighbor, and like all winter mornings, Mrs. Popo was baking something yummy and was about to place it on her window to cool it off. Mrs. Popo was always kind and gentle, and waved at Gaiev when she spotted him on the window, making Gaiev wave back in slow motions. He came downstairs, almost tripping on the stairway, calling out his mother and father, his brothers, his sisters, and when he turned to the door, he saw the fireplace burning, and someone sitting in the couch in front of the fireplace. He walked slowly towards that person, not recognizing him from the distance.  
  
"Who - Who are..." and the man turned around. Gaiev has this lovely look of a person who wants to recognize himself in the mirror, or worse, a person who has just met his exact double, whom he hates more than ever, "... you"  
  
"Hey," Dee greeted, taking a drag out of his half-finished cigarette. He wore his long black coat and lose scarf, with those sunglasses that made him look like he was just too much for the room, "We were wondering when you where coming down. Heck! He was just about to go and wake you up too..."  
  
"H-He?"  
  
"(Hello, love)"  
  
Gaiev gasped as he turned around. His eyes filled-up with tears and he had to cover his mouth with his hands to restrain a scream as Alexei smiled at him, his bright blue eyes shinning like they never shone before. Gaiev threw himself in to his arms, feeling his heart jump with joy at the sight of him.  
  
"Alexei..." he whispered, his face filled with anguish, "But-but I thought... you're dead! I mean, I saw them... kill you... I saw your body..." but Alexei smiled and stroke his hair with tenderness.  
  
"I know love... I know..."  
  
"And you," he said turning to Dee, "You're dead too... Ryo told me..."  
  
Ryo.  
  
The gangs, the murders, the beatings, the pain. It all came back in a flash. He felt his stomach take a turn for the worse and he had to sit down. Dee moved over next to Gaiev as Alexei took a seat in the sofa's arm, "You can't stay here," he said with a warmness in his voice Gaiev tried to grasp, "You can't stay here - it's not your time. Not yet. You have to go back, Gaiev."  
  
"What?" Gaiev felt his voice tremble.  
  
"You have to go back," Alexei said, massaging Gaiev's shoulders with care, "This is not your place or time. Over there, you have someone who is waiting for you."  
  
"But I - No! I won't! This is my home, my home! You - Alexei..." he sounded desperate, his eyes filling up with tears, "You can't be serious about this. I have nothing to go back to," he said turning to face Dee, "There's nothing more than pain, and coldness, and more pain, even worse than before now that - now that... there's nothing left..."  
  
"What about Ryo?" Alexei asked softly.  
  
Gaiev turned to face Alexei; his eyes where filled with love as he spoke, "He needs you - he loves you even more than he could ever expected. He prays for you, even now as he watches you lying there... he prays..."  
  
He could hear soft voices coming from the roof. "God... I know you're not here, but I know you're listening. Make him better? I beg of you, make him wake up - open his eyes, God, and make him come back. Make this all just a big nightmare to wake up to... Please, make him come home to me? Don't... Don't take him away from me... not yet... please? I never wanted to come to you like this, but please... make him stay... Make him know how much I love him... how much I need him by my side... I can't... I can't take it again, God, please? Please make him open his eyes... those beautiful eyes... and let him hear his voice again..."  
  
It was Ryo...  
  
"Do you love him, Gaiev?" Alexei asked. Gaiev turned to face him, tears rolling down his face.  
  
"Yes..." he whispered. He felt so bad telling his to the *other* man in his life, his beloved Alexei, who gave him a soft smile, "Then you should go to him. Start over, love. Make a life out of what's left. You can always come back home, here..."  
  
"This is home..." Gaiev whispered, looking around. Everything was just as he remembered to be - the fire, the big moose head above the fire, the little tea table in the middle of the room, "I miss home - I miss..." and then he turned to see Alexei again. His mother and father where there, smiling. Sitting on the sofa next to Dee's was his older brother, Yakov, with his wife, Ekaterina and their two children, Luca and Glafira where sitting on the floor, their bright little faces smiling at Gaiev. Next to Dee was Maria, with her flower Sunday dress and her bright white shoes and her curls very nicely over her shoulders. On the couch next to Gaiev was his brother, Innokenty, his arms crossed and looking dashing in his black suit, and kneeling in front of him, taking his hands was his brother Lev, who smiled as widely as he could (as he always did) as Gaiev couldn't help but to burst out in tears, "I MISS YOU ALL!! AND I AM SO, SO SORRY - FOR EVERTHING!! Papa..." he cried turning to his father, "Mama," he looked at his mother, "Please, forgive me..."  
  
"We will never forgive you," his brother Lev said, making Gaiev turn to face him, "Never, ever forgive you - if you let this last chance at life pass you by. Go back, Gaiev, and live - to the fullest you must live! Embrace life as it gives you another chance to enjoy it! Dance with it! Make love to it! Enjoy it in every way possible, in every way you can and love with all your heart and soul, with everything you have, like that day is your last day to do so. And then, in the silent night, you'll pray - let your heart elevate itself towards God, and set your soul free of all misery, for you are loved, more than you'll ever know. We shall we waiting here for this is your home, my brother. And it will always be here."  
  
Dee placed his hand on Gaiev's shoulder, "Go home," he whispered, "You have someone there, waiting for you..."  
  
Gaiev nodded and stood. He walked slowly to the door and turned around just before he opened it. His entire family was there - and more. He smiled and waved good-bye no, not good-bye, but more of an 'until we meet again' sort of wave.  
  
"Gaiev..." he heard Lev called. He turned around. No one else was there as his brother walked towards him, "Tell Alexeyena... tell her that I do too... very much so..."  
  
Gaiev nodded. He then opened the door and had to cover his eyes, because the light was so intense.  
  
He felt a stabbing pain in the gut and then a tube down his throat, helping him breathe. He let his eyes adjust a little to the light, even though it was soft. He heard a constant beeping, and the next thing he was where the brownish eyes of the nurse, who smiled at him kindly, "Hello," she said, "Welcome back. Do you know where you are?" Gaiev nodded. A hospital.  
  
He wanted to speak, but that tube in his mouth wouldn't let him. He had wires and tubes all over his body and didn't quite understood why until the nurse said as she was taking some notes after the doctor had come in and taken out the tube in this throat, checked him over to see if there was anything abnormal and left to tend other patients, "You've been gone for quite a while - 3 weeks... we thought you weren't waking up anymore... but you have a very stubborn boyfriend - very nice too. He's been here, never left your side. Right now he's gone to the cafeteria to drink a cup of coffee. Your sister has been here too - she's home now, resting, but I'm sure she'll be here as soon as we tell her you're awake..."  
  
"Ryo..." he whispered weakly. He wanted to see him before drifting off. He felt so tired and his eyelids where barely kept open. Suddenly, he heard the door swung open and Ryo was there, teary and overwhelmed with joy, holding his hand and stroking his hair, not believing what he was seeing. Gaiev gave him a weak smile and Ryo giggled between the sobs, "That's the most beautiful smile I've ever seen!" he said, and meant it. He leaned over to kiss Gaiev softly on the lips, squeezing his hand and not caring about the nurse being there, or the doctor coming back. Gaiev was awake.  
  
Gaiev was home.  
  
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Notes: I tried to write in Russian, you know, with the little characters n' stuff. It's cool, but it's just too complicated!! So. back to the "normy" translation again, neeeh?  
  
OMG!!! I cried during the making of this chapter! I mean it! I am all puffy eyes and rolling mucus here! I am such a soggy pants!!! T.T  
  
Rati: "squishy plush pony" ¬¬' what kind of sick hallucination is that, you sugar-driven fairy freak?! Rainy: It's fun! You never had a squishy toy? (:0 Rati: Yes, but I usually don't hold it tightly and snuggle against it... ¬¬" Kalavan: Yeah you do! :D Rainy: o____O whaaaaaaa?? Rati: Shut up, feather-boy! ¬¬º Kalavan: Only it's a dildo in the shape of a pony! :9 Rati: I said shut up!!! #.# Rainy: Awww! You two are so cute! ^.^  
  
DanielBlair_5@hotmail.com 


	23. More

Russian Blue  
  
Author's Notes: Chapter 23. Fist of all, Happy New Year. I hope this 2004 brings you and yours happiness, joyfulness and good fortune. I also hope that this new years brings loads of goodies for all. Goodies are good! ^.^ My back's out - I injured it while doing house work. Now it hurts so very much! T.T But good thing is that maybe I get to see that ER episode I really, really like (the one where Carter goes to the Congo to bring back Luka's body, but turns out Luka ain't dead?? Yeah, that one!!) PLUS my mom is here and she's making me good company with my poor back situation. Thanks mum!!! (kiss kiss)  
  
Disclaimer: Fake! Belongs to Sanami Matoh and her people. Other characters and plots are my idea. The song is none other than "More" as sung by Trace Atkins.  
  
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The day couldn't be put in to words, really. It was as perfect as in one of those pictures you often see in postal that tell you just how wonderful life is in other parts of the world and just makes you want to go there, even if it is just for a little while, you know? Gaiev's eyes looked at the beautiful night sky through the glass windows of his room, feeling this awesome feeling of warmth inside, something he couldn't possibly explain, even if he tried hard enough to. He'd been feeling like this ever since he got out of the hospital and in to this rehab clinic, that it was more like a withdrawal camp, one of those places that are out of the city and in this quiet little country side town, with nice rooms and bed sheets that don't smell like sickness. His sister, Alexeyena, had insisted that he'd entered in to this clinic's rehab program. "Three months is not a long time, and you need to be away from the hustle of the city, little brother," she'd said. Ryo had agreed. He needed to be away from all the bad stuff going on in New York, and forget everything for a while, even though it had taken him a little over a month to grab on to that state of mind. The psychiatric help had been excellent for him. He remembered telling the doctor (a very nice lady that wore big, thick glasses that took over most of her face) just how much he'd wished his life was different somehow - maybe if he'd gone to a different school, maybe if he'd hung out with different friends, or maybe if he'd been someone different somehow. But then again, if he'd been different, maybe he'd never met Ryo and he'd never been in this love- high he was in. Out of all the good things in his life, Gaiev had to admit, Ryo was the best thing. And even if he only got to see him recently - a month's try and then a nice reward on the first Saturday of the second month, when he got visitors and Ryo was one of them, along with Carol, Bikky, Alex, Ivan (Alexeyena's husband) and his sister. He'd missed Ryo's lips so much that the kiss he gave him still lived in his lips, much after they'd gone.  
  
He sighed. Everything bad was over now. Everything was back to good and it would stay like that for as long as God willed it to be. Because things where as God's will have wanted them to be: him in love with Ryo, and Ryo in love with him. And then, when he got out of the rehab clinic, he would go with Ryo, and live with him, and they would have dinners, and friends over, and make love... and then he would go to art school. Yes. He wanted that. He wanted to go back to art school and become the painter he always wanted to be. He'd already done a few portraits while inside the clinic, and the workshop teacher had been praising him over his technique. Well, while in Russia, he'd been attending one of the best art schools in the country in St Petersburg, why not here, in the U.S.? He still dreamed of having his work portrayed in a big-shot New York gallery, even if it was only as a student, or for a little while.  
  
[If anybody had told me anybody's have a hold on me, I'd a said they were out of their mind, Speaking of crazy, I'm finding lately, All I want, all I need, all the time is, More of your sweet love, too much just ain't enough, I've never been in a fix like this before, Too strong to resist, I don't know when to quit, Like a kid in a candy store, I'll be coming back for more!  
  
I can't explain it; I'm more than infatuated, You got me good, I got it bad, There's no doubt about it, I can't live without it, What you got, I just got to have, so give me More of your sweet love, too much just ain't enough, I've never been in a fix like this before, Too strong to resist, I don't know when to quit, Like a kid in a candy store, I'll be coming back for more!  
  
Too strong to resist, I don't know when to quit, Like a kid in a candy store, I'll be coming back for more! You keep me coming back for more! You keep me coming back for more and more and more and more and more!!]  
  
"Letter", the nurse said. He was working on a painting that rainy day when the letter came. He took a look at the address and restrained a scream of joy that was soon followed by a jump that bumped over some red paint and to avoid being hit by the splash of red he had to jump back and in that movement he stumbled over another patient-painter. In short: he made a terrible mess. He jumped in to his bed later that evening (after kindly volunteering to clean up the mess he'd made) and quickly opened the letter. He wanted to swallow the entire words that letter said, Russian words that came from the other side of the ocean, from a place he once called home.  
  
(Translation)  
  
"Lovah' boy:  
  
Alexeyena gave me the address of the clinic you are now. In fact, she gave me the hole, "you're his best friend, you should know he's still alive" speech over the phone. I decided to write this letter in hopes that you are alive and well, and to see if there's still that same old feeling of friendship between us. I understand what you did back then, and I am thankful for it. I owe you my life.  
  
You'll be happy to know me and Ana got married and now are blissfully divorced, yet remain good friends. We had a beautiful daughter while still married and a radiant son long after that was over. We named the girl Oksana (6 years old next June, so you better have a good present, you bastard!!) and we named the boy Gaiev (2 years old coming next September), like that long lost friend we once had (you HAVE to come back and be this boy's godfather or else I swear I'll induce him in to the Dark Rituals!). I add pictures; the fat walrus in white in the family picture is me. Yes, I have grown fatter, lazier and cynical, yet I keep my cool-looking hair! I couldn't be an outlaw, so I became a lawyer. And in this note, you'll also be happy to know that I have taken all your family's estates and now I own your fag ass!! No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding (or am I???) I am officially the Borinskaya family lawyer. Cool, hum? And Alexeyena said I wouldn't amount to anything!!! I bet even your father is surprised at how good I've done in life - I think he would be more surprised now than when you told him you where gay and then he said that I was your lover, remember? I think mother died believing that, even though I told her many times that it wasn't true (even made sure to get caught in bed with a girl, just to make things clear. My father was relieved, mind that)  
  
I leave you now, my friend. Say hello to Alexeyena for me - and what's this I hear?? You have a new boyfriend and I haven't even given my approval for this relationship!? Details! Details!  
  
Hope you come back here sometime or you'll welcome me in to your insane asylum so we can hang together from a balcony and pretend we're bats to scare the living shit out of the normals.  
  
Love and Friendship always Micka"  
  
Gaiev laughed. He missed his friend Micka and to read that he was alive and well had brought him a sense of joy he'd never experimented before. It was weird. He ran inside his room, took out a piece of paper and began to write every single detail, good and bad, to his long lost friend, whom he hoped he would see again... soon.  
  
"A letter from Micka?" Alexeyena asked in Russian. Every time they got together with no American friends in sight, they would speak their native language, a fact that Gaiev appreciated very much because it reminded him of places and people close and dear to his heart.  
  
"I decided to write back, telling him everything that went on after we moved to England. I think he deserves to know the entire truth, from my side of the story," he looked over at Alexeyena with a suspicious look she simply ignored.  
  
"What was I supposed to do? I called Rice, he tells me he's no longer dealing with the family affairs, he gives me the number for this lawyer in Moscow, I call and it turns out to be Micka! Who knew he was that smart?!"  
  
Gaiev laughed, but then went in to a quiet spell that Alexeyena noticed and knew what it was about, but said nothing about it until Gaiev asked, "How's the family?"  
  
"Fine. Me and Ivan have parted now. It's for the best - it was in good terms."  
  
"I'm so sorry."  
  
"Don't be. His secretary in Albany isn't sorry. Neither should you. Alex is good. He's with his new nanny."  
  
"New nanny?"  
  
"That girl, Carol. She takes care of him while I work or come here. She's in home a lot too - she's pregnant, I think."  
  
"Really?" Gaiev sounded surprised, then gasped when he saw Carol the next day, pregnant and all, "Wow! 'Ow long have I've been 'ere?"  
  
"Two and a half months, I ain't that pregnant yet, so don't start," she commented as she sat down on the bench just outside the garden. Gaiev sat next to her, "Can I touch it anyway?" he asked. She opened her arms and exposed her belly (even though it wasn't that big, it was in fact just a wee little thing popping out), "Be my guest," she sighed.  
  
It was kinda' funny touching a pregnant woman's belly, Gaiev thought. Yet there was something marvelous about the fact that another life was being formed inside that fragile surface of skin. He looked over at Carol and giggled, "its funny t' think tha' a little Bikky is going to come out of 'ere," he said, making Carol laugh.  
  
"Don't remind me. The sheer thought of it makes me think twice about letting this baby out!" she winked. Gaiev knew that she was kidding; she loved Bikky very much and the truth was that she was as happy as ever, you could tell - motherhood did wonders for her. She looked in to her purse and pulled out a letter she gave to Gaiev, who looked at it with a sad frown that was not unnoticed by Carol.  
  
"Don't," she said softly, running her hand along Gaiev's hair. Gaiev wanted so badly to cry but restrained himself from doing so, "Gaiev..."  
  
"Sorry," he said, "It's just tha' - I miss 'im, that's all..."  
  
"You'll be out in a week, dearest, you'll be able to see him then," she said trying to make things better, not being able to get the effect she wanted. She sighed, "He's alright," she looked up in to the sky to avoid looking in to Gaiev's sad puppy eyes, "He's been working a lot - taking extra-hours, double shifts. He has a major surprise for you, that's why he hasn't been able to come and visit. But you've gotten every single one of this letters, right?"  
  
"All ten of them," Gaiev forced a smile, "It's nice of you an' Bikky to come an' deliver them personally. O though, I must confess, I never expected Bikky to come and deliver a letter; I didn't think 'e liked me much."  
  
"He's like that," Carol nodded, "It took him a while to accept the fact that Ryo is gay - and it took him a little while longer to accept Dee as Ryo's lover. Then Dee died, so it's only natural for Bikky to be on the look-out for Ryo; he is, after all, his father, and there's nothing Bikky wouldn't do for that man. But I think he's come to good terms with you and Ryo - I really do."  
  
Gaiev looked at the letter with a soft grin and placed it inside his shirt, "I'll read this later," he said, "I want to take my time to savor every word."  
  
"He'll be here to pick you up next week," Carol said holding his hand, "And then, you two can talk and kiss all the way to the city. He's coming a-lo- ne" she waggled her eyebrows.  
  
Gaiev squeaked and did a sort of jig.  
  
It was nice to leave. It was nice to consider himself "Sane and Healthy" after a while. The psychologist there (the nice lady with glasses for a face) recommended him to continue his psychological evaluations with a known doctor of hers and Gaiev nodded kindly. He really wanted to get everything out, but that would come later. Much, much later. Because at the moment he saw Ryo standing in the gates, he forgot everything and ran towards him, threw himself in to his arms and kissed him deeply, tears of joy running freely down his face. It was his Ryo, holding him tightly, embracing him, filling him with love and warmth, kissing his lips over, and over, and over again; it was his breath over his skin, his fingers tangling in his hair, his eyes looking in to his, his voice saying, "I've missed you, my love". It was Ryo, all of Ryo for him and only for him. Gaiev nodded as Ryo wiped away some of the tears, "I've missed you too," he said, or tried to say over the soft sobs he was giving. They hugged again before being interrupted by the head of the clinic giving a deep "AHEM!"  
  
"Sorry," Gaiev apologized, taking his bag.  
  
"Now, I want you to keep in mind Dr. Fielding," the lady said, "He's a good therapist, and a good friend of mine. Be good, you hear me?" she hugged him slightly.  
  
"Yes, ma'am," he said. Ryo took his bag and placed it in the backseat of the car as Gaiev climbed inside. As soon as Ryo was inside, Gaiev leaned over to kiss him again, a kiss that was not denied by Ryo, who placed a hand on Gaiev's lower jaw line, drawing him closer to him. They broke the kiss to catch their breaths and to laugh at each other's hunger.  
  
"Well," Ryo said turning on the ignition, "I think it's fair to say that we desperately need to get home."  
  
"Yes," Gaiev sat back, seatbelt and sunglasses on. Ryo looked over, "I can't believe you're finally here, with me."  
  
"Imagine 'ow I feel, luv," Gaiev grinned. One last small kiss and off they went, talking about stuff that had been going on, stopping at a gas station n' store to get some cokes, bags of hot cheetos, a smoothie, a pack of cigarettes and some gas for the car. Off again.  
  
"Ivan's dead," Ryo said bluntly, making Gaiev almost die as he almost chocked with a cheeto.  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Yeah... ummm... a drug hit, apparently. He got shot during a celebrity gala over at the Museum of Modern Arts. I tried to pretend I wasn't happy about it but I couldn't help it. I even saved the newspaper for you," Ryo said, smiling to Gaiev, who looked as if somebody had told him there was a panda growing in his neck. Ryo giggled, "I'm not kidding."  
  
"I know you're not... still... wow..."  
  
"Somehow I expected a bigger reaction to the news," Ryo laughed as they came to a red light.  
  
"What? Something like this?" Gaiev asked before undoing his seatbelt, climbing half-out of the window and screaming to the top of his lungs, "YEAH!! WHOOOOAAA!!! YES! YES! HE'S DEAD! HE'S DEAD!!! YEEEEEESSSS!!! I'M FREEEEE!!!" then climbing back in, slightly out of breath, "Something like that?"  
  
"..." Ryo was looking at him with awe. Gaiev leaned back again, buckling his seatbelt once more as the light turned green.  
  
"No, never. I will never do such a display of emotions. I'm almost British, I should know better."  
  
Ryo looked ahead as he began to drive. Then, he broke in to laughter, "You're crazy!" he said.  
  
"Crazy about you," Gaiev replied, then looked out, "Where're we going? I don't recall this street to 'ead to your apartment... or mine for that matter..."  
  
"That's because we're not going to my apartment... or yours."  
  
"Where are we going then?"  
  
"To our place."  
  
"Wait - did you just say... *our* place?" Ryo nodded.  
  
"You'll see," he said, turning right, then left, then right again. They came to a stop in front of a small yet nice house, with a small front yard that had a big sign that said "Sold" in the front, "Ta-dah!" Ryo said, stopping the car, Gaiev's eyes big and mouth open, "Our place!"  
  
Gaiev turned to Ryo, "You mean it?" he asked, his voice breaking as tears began to appear in his eyes.  
  
"I mean it with every fiber in my soul when I say that I love you, and that I don't want to be away from you. That I've missed you more than I could of imagine that I would and that I never want to leave you," Ryo held his hand and kissed it. Gaiev threw himself over, his arms around Ryo's neck, lips locked together. It was nice, yet there were much _nicer_ things they could be doing... in doors...  
  
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Notes: Yes! Micka appears as a special guest here. If you don't know who Micka is, then it's just that you haven't read "Russian Blue: Days of Old" posted at Fictionpress.com so don't complain. My back is doing a little better BTW. You know what's the weird thing today? Every time I open my box of memories and open one of Alex's letters, the song "What might have been" by Little Texas pops up in the radio. It's eerie. @.@  
  
DanielBlair_5@hotmail.com 


	24. Me and You

Russian Blue  
  
Author's Notes: I swear... if I hear that Alan Jackson song one more time... I'll think looong and hard in to making a funny song out of it. Sunday is sports day! GOO PACKERS! Yey... On with the chapter!  
  
Disclaimer: Fake! Belongs to Sanami Matoh and her people. Other characters and plots are delivered to you by my insane brain. The song, "Me and You" is sung by Kenny Chesney.  
  
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"It's 'uge!" I gasped once we were inside te house. Ok, so it wasn't huge in the entire sence of the word, but to me it felt like I was inside a castle. I ran in to the kitchen, followed closely by a smiling Ryo, who enjoyed watching me be so happy. He caught up to me as I stood in the kitchen's entrance, looking in awe at the inside, "Oh my bloody God!" I gasped again, "I can cook now!"  
  
"What? _You_ cook?" Ryo asked, wrapping his arms around me from behind and leaning his face to my neck, leaving a trail of soft kisses all over the sensitive skin that made me sigh and moan softly, tilting my head to the side to expose a little bit more flesh.  
  
"Why Randy Mclean, I've got cook moves you've never seen," I said turning around, wrapping my arms around Ryo's neck and kissing him playfully, giggling at first, but then the kisses began to intensify their tone. Suddenly, I broke the intense kiss session, "I wanna see the rest!" I jumped, pulling Ryo to the rest of the house, running like a child to see the bathroom, the livingroom, the kitchen (again), the bedroom. The house had just a few things, mostly from Ryo's appartment but there where some from my own too (and I was thankful for this because it made me feel right at home). I stood in the door that lead to the bedroom before asking, "Did you bring the old trunk that was in my bedroom's closet at my old flat?"  
  
"Yeah," Ryo said, looking inside with feline curiosity, "I think I put it inside the closet here..."  
  
I walked inside, opened the closet door and sure enough, the trunk was there, unaltered, unopened; I swung open the trunk's old locks (that had no key but still held steady) and dove in while Ryo peek from behind my shoulder to see what was inside. He could see photos, papers, mostly junk, and other little boxes, but it was a wooden box that I took out and handed over to Ryo as I sat back, leaning against the bed. Ryo opened the box with a high degree of curiosity, but as soon as he saw what was inside, his face lost all smiles and it turned to a grayish expression, "What's this?" he asked in an undertone.  
  
"It's bloddy money, Ryo; never seen some?" I replied simply.  
  
"I know _what_ it is, Gaiev, I'm asking..."  
  
"I know what you're asking, Ryo. There 'as to be 'bout 200 thousand there, american; 300 rubles and I think that 100, 000 yen because I once 'ad a japanese customer that paid me in yen..."  
  
"Gaiev... here" Ryo gave back the box, "I can't..."  
  
" 'ey!" I half mocked myself, "I worked 'ard for that money!" Ryo didn't laugh and I sighed, "Ok, it's not funny. Look, if there's something good that 'as to come out of all this, might as well be something for you - for both of us. We could buy furniture with that, or pay mortage, or get a new car, or get a dog and fence the front yard, or get a cat _and_ a dog (please pick that one), whatever..."  
  
Ryo smirked. He looked at the box and heard me say, "We could even get a flat screen, and cable... there's loads of porn in cable channels..." Ryo turned to look at me. He had this childish grin on his face, innocent-like.  
  
"What else do you have in there?" he asked, placing the box on top of the TV that was in the bedroom to then go and sit on the bed. I looked over the trunk, "Memories mostly. Old photos, letters... sentimental junk. I should go through it one day and throw out whatever doesn't have meaning anymore, because I plan to add some more stuff in there but I don't think more would fit..."  
  
"It was really heavy."  
  
"I can imagine..."  
  
I turned and crawled to where Ryo was sitting, knealing between his legs and leaning on my arms placed on top of Ryo's knees, "You know? I was thinking the other day, we've only been this close and personal about three times in this entire time..."  
  
Ryo laughed softly, his fingers tangled playfully in my hair; his eyes where looking deeply in to mine and I felt like the most loved person in the world; my heart skipped a beat when his eyes began to spark in magnificent color patterns, "You know something?" I said with a timid voice, feeling as my face began to turn red. I had to get it out - I had to tell him.  
  
"What?"  
  
"When I was in the 'ospital... you know... almost dead? I - I saw Dee..."  
  
"Really?" Ryo frowned.  
  
"Yeah," I lowered my head, laughing softly at myself for being embarrased by this, "It was strange because... because I was in my old flat... I was in my bedroom, an' I went downstairs an' Dee was sittin' in the living room in front of the fireplace. And Alexei, my old, *dead*, boyfriend was there... they seem to be 'mates... it was strange..."  
  
"Really?"  
  
I turned to face Ryo again, looking at him with all the love in the world, "I heard you - I heard your prayer, Ryo..."  
  
Ordinary no, I really don't think so  
  
Not a love this true  
  
Common destiny, we were meant to be  
  
Me and you  
  
Like a perfect scene, from a movie screen  
  
We're a dream come true...  
  
Suited perfectly, for eternity  
  
Me and you  
  
Every day I need you even more  
  
And the night time too  
  
There's no way I could ever let you go  
  
Even if I wanted to  
  
Every day I live try my best to give  
  
All I have to you  
  
Thank the stars above that we share this love  
  
Me and you  
  
Every day I need you even more  
  
And the night time too  
  
There's no way I could ever let you go  
  
Even if I wanted to  
  
Ordinary no, really don't think so  
  
Just a precious few  
  
Ever make it last, it is lucky as  
  
Me and you...  
  
Me and you...  
  
I didn't know what to say. Suddenly, the words seemed to get in the way and the silence spoke volumes I would never understand - or know. I leaned down as Gaiev stretched upward and we both encounter ourselves with a kiss, soft and kind but filled with undeniable love. My hand softly caressed Gaiev's features, tracing a finger down his nose and across his lips, "I love you," I whispered, silently praying that whatever he said next woud come from his heart.  
  
"I love you too, Ryo," Gaiev's voice was a faint one as I had claimed his lips again and left him breathless for a second. He climbed up, wanting to take my lips over, and over, making me lean back until I was completely lying on the bed, taking Gaiev's eager kisses, feeling a bit harrassed by them but at the same time submerged in a sea of a strange mixture of lust and love; passion and tenderness. The feel of Gaiev's warm body so close to mine, his dark eyes locked with mine, our tongues exploring eachother's mouths - it was just a few of the feelings I had huner for such a long time now. My hands traveled under my lover's clothes, touching, feeling those sharp curves, well-built muscles, making him moan in excitement and anticipation for where my touch would lead next, making him shiver as electricity ran through his spine, arching above me as my fingers traced that electrical flow through the sensitive skin that covered it.  
  
"Gods, I want you!" my lover whispered in to my ear before taking it in to his mouth and nible on it in such a seductive sense, I couldn't help but to moan loudly.  
  
"Then take me my love!" I heard myself reply in a loud gasp, inhibitions aside, pulling Gaiev down frantically, kissing him lustfully and wildly as his hands began to undo the buttons on my shirt, slidding down my hot skin, tracing maddening patterns across my body, soft touches that simply drove me mad with anxiety and made my entire body scream for his. I pushed Gaiev as I sat up to get rid of the shirt and the one I was wearing under that, to help Gaiev get rid of his own t-shirt and simply look over at my lover, touching his chest and abdomen with hungry fingers, noticing that Gaiev had (in fact) lost a lot of weight since we began knowing eachtother a little more intimate, but who cares about that when the hottest guy in the city was now kissing and licking your neck, and his hands are now carresing your back, your sides, your arms. My head shot back at the feel of my Gaiev's wet lips and couldn't help but to lie down, pulling Gaiev along with me, hearing him moan loudly when my lips press hard agains his collar bone, tracing kisses along his throat and neck as my hands are now undoing that stubborn button on his pants and slidding that zipper down, taking his hardening bulge under his clothes and rubbing it softly. He travels down, teasing my nipples for a while before he begins to work on my own clothing and pulling them down until I'm completely exposed to him, and he to me as he too took his clothes off, embracing tenderly next, bodies touching eachother completely, hips against eachother the feel of mutual heat between us. I liked the slow and tender way Gaiev was working his way down over me, like he was trying to kiss every inch of my body; to make every inch of me moan in pleasure and I loved every second of it. I let out a sharp gasp when his hand crawled down to grasp my erection, stroking it slowly, teasingly, his own erection pressed against my stomach, his lips taking my own in a fantastic frenzy of passion and desire.  
  
I felt him release me yet his hips bucked down, both of our erections touching and rubbing against eachother; we both moaned loudly and continued with this maddening friction that made me want him even more.  
  
"Lube..." I heard him whisper between gulps of air. I couldn't bring my mind to add two words and make a coherent sentece.  
  
"Nightstand... drawer... up..." I manage to spit out as his head had moved down to suckle on my neck, mischivious little fingers playing with my hardening nipples and my back arching under his weight at such delicious torture. He moved fast, taking the lube from inside the drawer, yet I wasn't going to let him do all the work, was I? I took the tube from his hands and opened it as he got to his knees on top of me and watched with lustful eyes as I took some of the contents and began to slowly cover him with it. His face was a blissful one as my hand worked his length, yet he took my hands and covered his fingers with the lubricant, moving down to take my own hardening flesh between his lips, trailing his tongue over the head, making me cry out as he took me in completely while his slick digit was making its entrance into my body.  
  
God! It felt soo good! He was taking his own sweet time, relaxing and stretching me, my hips moving up toward his hot mouth, which worked wonders around me, taking me almost to the base then playfully releasing me. Soon there where two fingers in, hearing myself pant as my lover released electrical waves of pleasure all over my body, crying even louder when he hit that tinny stop that makes one see stars. I felt I was going insane with anticipation, my hips moving even more. He crawled up, removing the fingers from inside, kissing me fiercely and moves my body so it was ready to be taken. I wanted it, needed it so badly now, I pushed down and cried out his name when I felt him pass the ring muscle. He had his face buried in to my neck, panting heavily in to my ear, his arms under mine, holding me tightly against him.  
  
The rhythm was slow and erotic at first, but then it began to increase its moment, becoming something wild, animalistic even. Our voices got tangled in the air: him crying out my name over and over, like some sort of life- saving mantra, sweat covering his delicious body and rolling down in tinny droplets on to mine; I groaned and moaned loudly as Gaiev was hitting my sweet spot over and over again, giving in to the lust and gasping out when it finally arrived, that sweet entrance to the heavens, coming all over his body and feeling him reach his pinnacle not long after I did, barely able to keep himself from collapsing on top of me. He slip himself out carefully and moved to my side, kissing me tenderly over and over as we climbed inside the covers, not able to muster an entire sentence but most likely words of love as he was speaking in Russian so I couldn't quite understand what he was saying. "Ya tebya lyublyu, ya tebya lyublyu," and he ketp repeating that until he drifted to sleep in my arms, his head resting in my chest, his warm breath against my skin.  
  
"I love you," I whispered, kissing his head, feeling the spell of dreams coming over my eyes. But this - this is not a dream: my beloved Gaiev is sleeping in my arms...  
  
...and this is right where I want to be.  
  
Sweet dreams, my love...  
  
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NOTES: Finished yet another chapter. Yey. Sorry, feeling a bit sad and disappointed because Packers lost to Eagles in OT. Yet, I knew it was coming. So, prediction? Carolina vs Indianapolis, with the Colts winning the Superbowl. Goooo! Panthers!!!  
  
Rainy (shrugging her shoulders): Well, there's always next year.  
  
Rati: You sound like one of those losers who have nothing better to do but to watch football on Sundays...  
  
Kalavan: Don't go there, Rati...  
  
Rati: Or, even worse, just like a Cowboy fan...  
  
Rainy (getting dirty non-sharp spoon from kitchen): Ok... Rati, your tongue is MINE!!  
  
Rati (running away): Stop her! She's got a spoon!  
  
Kalavan (getting popcorn out of microwave and sitting on sofa): This is extremely entertaining to me...  
  
DanielBlair_5@hotmail.com 


	25. Wild Angels

Russian Blue  
  
Author's notes: Starting this one at 11:17 pm on a Sunday night (yes, the dreadful Packer-losing Sunday) and hopefully ending this tomorrow. With a little luck I might put up two or three chapters on Wednesday (YEY! Going to the movies to see "Seabiscuit"!!! Just premiered here, under the title "Corazón de Héroe" wich it translates to "Heroe's Heart", it's a weird thing these movie translations. Cool thing? It's subtitled, so we still get to see it in English with little tinny Spanish subs... I dance with glee!!!)  
  
Disclaimer: Fake! Belongs to Sanami Matoh and her people. The song this time is called "Wild Angels" by Martina McBride.  
  
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Between the perfect world and the bottom line,  
  
Keeping love alive in this trouble times  
  
Well, it's a miracle in it self  
  
Hell, we know too well what's that about  
  
Still we made it through only God knows how  
  
We must have had a little help...  
  
It was magical. No other words to describre it. A world of sensations of love right at the fingertips, loins, lips, hands, bodies. Ryo found himself lying next to this awsome, sexy, loving person whose warm breath made him feel so complete, a thing he couldn't explain in simple words, even if he tried. Gaiev looked like an angel, all cuddled against his Ryo, sleeping soundly as Ryo held him closer to place his nose closer to his lover's hair, receiving the sweet lavender smell Gaiev always had (and Ryo wondered how in the world he made that possible) and Ryo loved.  
  
"Ryo?" a very sleepy Gaiev mumbled.  
  
"Yes?" Ryo's reply came softly, his lips agains Gaiev's hair, neither wanting to move from that exact position.  
  
"I'm 'ungry."  
  
"It's four o'clock in the morning love," Ryo chuckled.  
  
"We started the sex-drive in the late afternoon, I think I'm entitled to be 'ungry after all that excercise."  
  
"Wow! You call _that_ exercise? I'm never going to the gym again!" Ryo laughed and both of them tumbled to the other side of the bed between the laughs and giggles.  
  
"Seriously," Gaiev whined, "I'm 'ungry."  
  
"Well, there's some Chinese leftovers in the fridge - and milk..."  
  
" 'ow old is the Chinese?"  
  
"About three days..."  
  
"N' the milk?"  
  
"About a week..." Ryo felt embarrased by this. Gaiev gave it a thought for a while.  
  
"I'll take my chances with the milk," he chuckled, but half meaning every word of it. Ryo moaned and kissed him as he reached over the nightstand for the phone. He pressed the speed dial for the 24 hr pizza place and 45 minutes later they where both eating pizza in bed, right out of the box.  
  
"I 'spose this is the part of the relationship where we talk," Ryo said, trying to keep the cheese on the slice as Gaiev munched hungrily on another piece, "Man! You eat like there's no tomorrow!"  
  
"I dold you I was 'undry!" was the muffled response. One gulp and his mouth was pizza-free, "Ok, how is work?"  
  
"Good," Ryo nodded, cleaning the sauce off his face with the back of his hand, "Drake is my partner now - he sends his geetings, by the way."  
  
"Thank you. 'e's the one with short 'air, right?"  
  
"A little paranoid, yeah, that's Drake," Ryo laughed, "He's becoming even more paranoid ever since his girlfriend decided to introduce him to her parents last week. You should of seen the flames..."  
  
"I can imagine. I mean, it's scary to visit your sweet nothing's parents, what to say? What to do? It's complex..."  
  
"I bet it is. O though I wish that I could introduce you to my parents - and I wish I could meet yours," Ryo sounded wishful. Gaiev gave him an understanding smile; deep down inside he too wished that could happen, "But enough sadness, how about you? I mean, you're out of the woods now, what are you gonna do now?"  
  
"I was planning on getting a job that allows me to return to school. I want to finish what I started a long time ago..."  
  
"Highschool?" Ryo asked, thinking of the city program for adults but found himself become surprised when Gaiev nodded and said, "College. Well, art school to be exact."  
  
"You where in Art School?" Ryo asked puzzled.  
  
"Yeah. I was in the Art School of Alexey Yegorov, took a few painting courses an' photography later on, bu' I never got to finish (chuckle) I even presented some work at the Alla Bulyanskaya Gallery, in Moscow."  
  
Ryo's eyes were wide. He didn't know exactly what Gaiev was talking about, but he knew it was as big deal. Gaiev was munching on his third slice now, "Wow. So... you... you know photography?"  
  
"A lil' bit, yes. Do you think tha' New York schools would take me in?" he wondered.  
  
"Well, it wouldn't hurt to ask..."  
  
"Yeah, I figure that one out. I 'ave to get my portfolio in order, and ask about the rates the schools 'ere go for. The Art school in Moscow was expensive, bu' I was there on a scholarship so I didn't worry much about that... and then Alexei did 'elp me a lot, so there..."  
  
"Alexei, as in Alexei your ex-boyfriend?"  
  
"Alexei as in Alexei my dead ex-boyfriend, yes. I think 'e would be 'appy tha' I want to go on with this. I love to get behind the camera..." he turned to Ryo and winked, "Maybe sometime you would like to pose nude for me?"  
  
"Love to," Ryo leaned forward to kiss his lover on the lips.  
  
"Want to see some pictures?" Gaiev asked, excited. Ryo nodded and Gaiev jumped to get them from the trunk. He had about three big photo albums filled with pictures, some of them from his family, others from his friends, and a lot of them artistic photos which turned out to be pretty darn good.  
  
"Who's this?" Ryo asked, holding a picture of a dark-haired boy who was stiking his tongue out along with Alexeyena, who looked much younger. Gaiev looked over, "That's my brother, Lev. 'e was Alexeyena's twin..."  
  
"Yeah, they look almost identical..."  
  
"Alexeyena and Lev shared one brain," Gaiev laughed.  
  
"Can I ask you something?"  
  
"Sure!"  
  
"First kiss. Who was it?"  
  
"Lev."  
  
"Lev?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Your brother, Lev?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Ok, this I got to hear..."  
  
"Ok... I was going out on my first real date. I mean, I used to 'ave a girlfriend, bu' she was more like a good friend, never actually went out with 'er. So there I was, on the edge of my first real date with a guy, when Alexeyena asks me if I've ever kissed someone, like, full on the lips, which I 'and't. So Lev comes up to me and starts giving me pointers, you know, tilt your 'ead, don't rush it, let it flow and that and, to top it off, 'e kissed me. Took me by surprise too. Yet that kiss taught me 'ow _not_ to kiss ever again because Lev was a terrible, terrible kisser. Oh- oh! Did I tell you the story about when I told my family I was gay?" he laughed, "Lev comes up to me and asks me if I 'ad a boyfriend - which I didn't - then 'e asks me if I ever 'ad a boy or ever kissed a boy before, at which I said no; then 'e goes about 'ow do I know that I like them if I never even 'ad one, and just when things couldn't get any more odd with 'im, 'e pulls Alexeyena up towards me an' asks me if I find 'er attractive enough to 'ave 'er, that 'e's even willing to pay for the 'otel..."  
  
"You had a weird family..." Ryo giggled.  
  
"Yeah I did. But Lord knows 'ow much I loved each and every one of them... Sometimes I miss them so much I could just see them there, you know - doing the things you most complain about when you 'ave your family around, and strangely enough those are the things you miss the most when they're not around anymore..." Gaiev sighed turning the pages of the photo album and a picture of all of his brothers and sisters in a new year's party came up; all of them wearing party hats and cheering their drinking cups to the air. They seemed happy Ryo thought, and smiled when he pictured a similar picture in one of the many photo albums he had somewhere inside that very same closet, but with Carol, Bikky, Dee, and Dana posing for the picture. He took a glimpse at Gaiev, looking through another set of pictures and couldn't help but to think how lucky he was that he was right there beside him, that he got to know this wonderful person when he most needed to find a wonderful person, no matter the circumstances or the hard times; this moment - this particular moment was all that mattered and Ryo couldn't be more thankful for it.  
  
"What're you thinking, luv?" Gaiev asked, looking at Ryo with this curious look in his face. Ryo shook his head slightly, "Nothing... it's just that... I love you..."  
  
"I love you too," Gaiev's cheeks turned a slight red.  
  
The pizza was long gone now, and pictures where all over the bed. Stories where told, kisses where given, and Ryo hated this but he did had to take a shower and get ready for work, but we all know that's kind of impossible when you're madly in love and the object of your affection insists on taking a shower with you, which would of made a perfectly good explanation on why Ryo was late that day, except for the fact that he didn't even show up for work to give the nice, long explanation.  
  
Must have been wild angels!  
  
Wild angels!  
  
Watching over you and me!  
  
Wild angels, wild angels!  
  
Baby, what else could it be?  
  
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Notes: Ooooh! This is a sweet swifty chapter. I am thankful for all of you who have been loyal fans. If all goes well the page I'm preparing will soon be up along with a few surprises you might find there.  
  
Thank you for being such cool readers!!!  
  
DanielBlair_5@hotmail.com 


	26. With my Eyes Closed

Russian Blue  
  
Author's notes: OMG!!! New chapter n' stuff. Just when you thought this fic was winding down, I come up with some sort of thingie to keep it going, even if it is for a little while longer (I needs your brains to feed - not true, I eat dog biscuits!! ^.^) Anyway, enough of the loony-woony part of me, o' thought, you haven't seen loony until you read a piece me and Alex did a while back, when we were writing a Sailor Moon fanfic. I think I shall put that little conversation on the ending notes. HIYAAA!!!  
  
Disclaimer: Fake! Belongs to Sanami Matoh and her people. The song this time is called "With my Eyes Closed" by Gloria Trevi  
  
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SilentDiary: Hey  
  
Cookiemomma: Hey, you fag! How are you?  
  
SilentDiary: Doing good. Did you get the letter I send you last week?  
  
Cookiemomma: Sure did. I was so happy to receive it I even read it in the bathroom to read it in it's full extent.  
  
SilentDiary: Too much Info  
  
Cookiemomma: So glad for chatrooms. Remember when we used to think this could only happen in those cheesy sci-fi movies we used to watch?  
  
SilentDiary: Yeah. Like that time we watched Arachnofobia and you couldn't sleep because the spiders kept looking at you?  
  
Cookiemomma: I thought I told you I would have to kill your family if you ever brought that up...  
  
SilentDiary: I already did, just to spite you... :6  
  
Cookiemomma: God! I miss the good old days! But we still have time to make NEW good old days! Hey! I'm coming to New York in a couple of weeks!!  
  
SilentDiary: Cool! You could stay with us! I'm sure Ryo won't mind!  
  
Cookiemomma: Soooo? How is the nice little Ryo? Because you talk wonders about him over the letter, yet I still fail to see any pictures.  
  
SilentDiary: I could send you one, wanna see it?  
  
Cookiemomma: Sure!  
  
SilentDiary: Ok. I'm sending... now!  
  
Cookiemomma: Downloading! Oooh! Get this: remember that guy, Pietro?  
  
SilentDiary: The one who used to hang waaay too much in the cafeteria?  
  
Cookiemomma: That one! So I stumble upon him the other day. GET THIS! He's married, has three kids, ALL of them don't even look like him OR his wife... and then, just yesterday, I enter the Starbucks here and who do I find but miss Pietro's wife, lip-locking someone who was not the husband!  
  
SilentDiary: You didn't call Pietro, right?  
  
Cookiemomma: It's my dutie as a male! Luckily I knew the number because he works at a delivery office that works for my law firm now. So I call, he comes in and... well, let's just say I had to defend him in the murder trial...  
  
SilentDiary: You _are_ Satan's Spawn! @.@  
  
Cookiemomma: I know, I try. Done! Ok, let's see... OMG! You're SO skinny!  
  
SilentDiary: That was taken a few days ago. The girl in the corner is Carol, she's a real sweetheart.  
  
Cookiemomma: Don't tell me your Ryo is the black blond!  
  
SilentDiary: Micka!  
  
Cookiemomma: Is it?!  
  
SilentDiary: No. He's Bikky, Ryo's adoptive son. Ryo is the chesnut blond who's holding me.  
  
Cookiemomma: Hottie!!! Man, Gaiev, you sure know how to pick 'em! He's definatelly a keeper...  
  
SilentDiary: He sure is.  
  
Cookiemomma: Is he big?  
  
SilentDiary: #.#  
  
Cookiemomma: Com'on! Is he?? He's small, right?!  
  
SilentDiary: Noooo... He's not small but not too big... (OMG I can't believe I'm having this conversation with you!) #.#  
  
Cookiemomma: Aaaaaand???  
  
SilentDiary: And WHAT?  
  
Cookiemomma: How well does out not too big guy perform, hum ;)  
  
SilentDiary: MICKA!!!  
  
Cookiemomma: Com'on! Spill the dirty lil' details!!! I want to know! Trust me, if I embarrass you now, wait 'till I'm there.  
  
SilentDiary: I know you! Even if I spill, you're still going to embarrass me!  
  
Cookiemomma: Please? With puppy eyes!?  
  
SilentDiary: ... if you must know... he's excelent  
  
Cookiemomma: Like... Alexei excelent or, "I-was-so-drunk-last-night-yet-I- had-the-greatest-sexual-experience-with-a-complete-stranger" excelent?  
  
SilentDiary: More like... "Not-even-extasy-could-top-this-one" excellent...  
  
Cookiemomma: Oh My!  
  
SilentDiary: Dazt ragh! He is mah man!  
  
Cookiemomma: Um-hum, you go girl!  
  
SilentDiary: He's just... so wonderful! He's hot, he's sexy, he's great in bed, he's an excellent cook, he's - he's great!  
  
Cookiemomma: BUT?  
  
SilentDiary: But what? There's not BUT...  
  
Cookiemomma: Oh, com'on Gaiev! You're not talking to someone you just met, you're talking with the guy who completely covered for you when you and Alexei decided to take that weekend in London, even though you where still a minor and had to purchase that fake ID to get out of the country! I KNOW you - I know you BETTER than you know YOURSELF, now - SPILL!  
  
SilentDiary: There's nothing going on, you're just paranoid...  
  
Cookiemomma: Paranoid, hum?  
  
SilentDiary: Yes, paranoid. You've always been.  
  
Cookiemomma: Do you love him?  
  
SilentDiary: Yes, I do.  
  
Cookiemomma: Does he love you?  
  
SilentDiary: Yeah!  
  
Cookiemomma: Then why do I get the feeling there's a "BUT" in this conversation, even if it IS on-line?  
  
SilentDiary: I could never trick you, could I?  
  
Cookiemomma: Not since I taught you how to pick a lock to get out of your play-pen...  
  
SilentDiary: A while back I heard Ryo talking to a friend, Dana...  
  
Cookiemomma: Is Dana the drag-name of a mutual friend of yours?  
  
SilentDiary: No, she's actually a girl and she works for the F.B.I.  
  
Cookiemomma: Ok. Continue.  
  
SilentDiary: I felt a little bad. I've been working in a bookstore around here, very little yet cool underground bookstore, you know, like the ones we used to go to?  
  
Cookiemomma: Oh yeah! Where that big-assed girl used to work at? Man! She had a big crush on you!  
  
SilentDiary: And coming from the size of her ass, it WAS huge... Anyway, I've been working there, and a few days ago I felt a little bad, had a cold. So I ask Dorotea if I could go home early.  
  
Cookiemomma: W/s Dorotea?  
  
SilentDiary: Boss.  
  
Cookiemomma: Oh!  
  
SilentDiary: So I come home early, right? I knew Ryo would be there because it wasn't time for him to go to work yet, so I figure we could have a little bit of time, maybe get pampered for a while or something. They where talking in the bedroom, and from inside the bedroom is very hard to hear the door, so they didn't notice when I came in.  
  
Cookiemomma: So you spied on them? Gaiev, you devil! ;9  
  
SilentDiary: If you're gonna make jokes I might as well not tell you anything else! :6  
  
Cookiemomma: Sorry! Continue. I'll be as quiet as a married woman's lover.  
  
SilentDiary: D. was there and she and Ryo where talking about... well... me...  
  
Cookiemomma: Did you hear what they where saying?  
  
SilentDiary: Some of it. But just as I was going to run to the kitchen and pretend I didn't, they came out. I had to pretend I just came in. Dana left and Ryo stayed to take care of me! He's such a sweetheart! ^.^  
  
Cookiemomma: /:( What did they say?  
  
SilentDiary: Something about Ryo being worried that I might fall again, stuff like that...  
  
Cookiemomma: Gaiev...  
  
SilentDiary: It's hard, ok?! I'm trying to forget what I heard! It was hard to hear it and it's hard to fezz' up!  
  
Cookiemomma: Fezz up...  
  
SilentDiary: He was wondering what I thought about when we - you know...  
  
Cookiemomma: When you bake cake?  
  
SilentDiary: Yeah, when we bake cake.  
  
Cookiemomma: So, let me get this straight: he's wondering if you're thinking about someone else while you two are being right down nasty... and I'm guessing that he's wondering this because of your impecable record, right?  
  
SilentDiary: No! No, it's not that... it's just that... I understand, I really do. I understand how he feels...  
  
Cookiemomma: What if things where the other way around?  
  
SilentDiary: What do you mean?  
  
Cookiemomma: I mean, what if the one who had it bad was him instead of you? What would of happen then? Would you doubt his word if he told you he loved you, even though he has a sex list as long as your arms?  
  
SilentDiary: Com'on man! I'm serious here!  
  
Cookiemomma: So am I. Answer me.  
  
SilentDiary: Of course not! I wouldn't doubt him because I love him and I'm sure he loves me too!  
  
Cookiemomma: So? How come he can't do the same with you? It seems to me that he doesn't trust you, man. And if your word isn't enough, then Gaiev, don't you think that something's not right here?  
  
SilentDiary: ...  
  
Cookiemomma: Gaiev?  
  
SilentDiary: He LOVES me, Micka. I doubt you know the true meaning of the word.  
  
Cookiemomma: I'm going to let that slide by because I know deep down inside you know I'm right  
  
SilentDiary: You're not!  
  
Cookiemomma: You're just blind. But it's okay. I'm still your friend, and I want you to be happy, so I'll let you be as blind as you want if that's what makes you happy. Meanwhile, I'll be visiting you, I've already told you.  
  
SilentDiary: I'll talk to Ryo today and ask him if you can stay.  
  
Cookiemomma: Don't bother. I'll stay in a hotel - I don't want to interrupt the two love-birds while they're trying to fix their marriage.  
  
SilentDiary: There is nothing to be fix!  
  
Cookiemomma: Really?  
  
SilentDiary: ...  
  
Cookiemomma: I know, I hate me too...  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------  
  
Notes (Nothing to do with this FAKE fanfic, just a little something to amuse you all)  
  
IMPORTANT NOTE FROM RAINY  
  
Ok. I apologize in advance for the contents of this story. No! No hentai or anything like that! It's just that maybe some people might find it offensive because of the cussing or of the situations portrayed here. Again, I am very very sorry if you are offended by this...  
  
************************************************************  
  
A little note from the insane authors that have taken over: (In other words, us)  
  
Hello! New attitude (Cat-itude, FELICIA, [Known by her friends as Ofelia... or at least she says that's her REAL name...she's wanted by the feds, so...wait... OH MY GOD!!! THE COMPUTER IS TAPPED!!!!!!!), new people working on these stories... Man! I feel like a woman! (pa-para-para- parpa!..oh, sorry, got Shania on the brain, and that is SHA-NI-A, ANGIE!!!!!)  
  
(By this time, the writers are experiencing a heavy lack of sleep... We don't know what the heck we're writting, we just know it's funny as hell...)  
  
Enjoy our insanity!  
  
Love, hugs, kisses and big ass keys...and glaives... and other senshi stuff... (where they're from? places undisclosed! I mean, where does Moon keep her attack thingies? [Angie shouts: "How DOES she do it?!!", while Ofelia shouts: "Too much info! TOO MUCH, I tell you!! TOO MUCH!!!!! AAAAHHHH!!!!!!!]  
  
Signed The ones who are gonna get killed for this one (Io [you know who WE are] & Rainy [I know where YOU live])  
  
(And Pluto says: "Do we care?". "No" says Danka, "but we're still getting paid for this one, right??")  
  
Ok... now, on with the story...FINALLY!!!  
  
Please help us by e-mailing your comments... or flames... or nude pics (if you are male... and cute, we don't want to see ugly naked guys, we see that on COPS every night...) or money...or whatever!!! (Checks, money orders, credit cards, puppies, cats, whatever you can fit in a mailbox is fine by us!!... ah... No, Oberon, we cannot have dead bodies...or skulls... or other parts of the male body shipped and delivered right to your door...)  
  
OBERON: What?! Aw, man!!! No fair!! I'll have to cancel the party!!!  
  
DANKA: Party, what party?!  
  
OBERON: Never mind...  
  
DANKA: We could still get drunk, have sex...  
  
OBERON: will there be stippers?  
  
DANKA: Sure! Male strippers, female strippers, guys that look like girls... anything you want, sugah!!!  
  
TRITON: I'm SOOO there!!!!  
  
DANKA & OBERON: TRITON???!!!  
  
TRITON: ....oops..... [don't move... maybe they won't see me... it ain't working...]... Gosh! I got to stop thinking out loud!!!  
  
OBERON: [looking at Danka] Really, she should. You can't imagine the things she thinks sometimes...can we say S&M?  
  
To stop the insanity, please call 1-800-YOUWISHYOUWEREUS Don't delay! Call now and make your voice heard! PLEASE!!! WE NEED THE ASYLUM NOW!!!! FEED & SAVE THE LOONY!!!... But do not Feed the wild animals... oh! wait a minute...WE ARE THE WILD ANIMALS!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!  
  
PS: Sorry about all the cussing :9 I'll try to keep it down (o'do this might take away half of Oberon's personality)  
  
DanielBlair_5@hotmail.com 


	27. The Last Dance

Russian Blue  
  
Author's notes: Nice and listening to Norah Jones. It's just a rainy night, I felt like slidding down and having a glass of wine and listening to Miss Jones while writing this. Cool, hum? I wish I was outside... and it was still raining, not freezing like it is. Snow coming soon! Yey snow!  
  
Disclaimer: Fake! Belongs to Sanami Matoh and her people. The song is called "The Last Dance" (El Ultimo Baile) by Hombres G.  
  
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"So, how are things?"  
  
Dana had just dropped by to check on Ryo and Gaiev. It'd been a while since she'd heard from either, so she guessed things had to be going on smoothly and with no other problems, yet the day before when she saw Ryo at the precinct she had this nagging feeling that the chestnut blond wanted to talk to someone and that someone just HAD to be her. Ryo sighed as he sat down. He didn't know exactly why Dana had come all the way over just to bring over a bag of apples, but now as she just finished throwing the question at him he knew just what she was doing there: she was being a good friend.  
  
"Fine," he sighed softly. They where inside the bedroom as Ryo wanted to show her the entire place and somehow the tour always ended in the bedroom. They had poured a couple of glasses of wine that Dana had brought over (along with the apples, yes) and where now talking as they sat on the bed; well, Ryo was mostly sitting while as Dana was mostly just spreading herself all over the smooth covers in a very lazily fashion. She was more or less like a kitten (Ryo thought and laughed at the image of Dana wearing kitty ears and kitty tail).  
  
"Oh tsk, tsk, Ryo! I've know you for how long? Com'on. You're not okay and you know it. Spill... Where's Gaiev?"  
  
"He's at work. He works at this art storage place, he likes it very much. I think he works in restoring paintings and such..."  
  
"Wow! I never knew he had such talents!"  
  
"Neither did I, but apparently he does. He even went to this fancy-shamcy art school in Moscow and stuff. But he got the job, he's very happy."  
  
"But you're not, right?" Ryo giggled softly and dragged his head down. Dana scootched over, trying to find his face, "Am I right?"  
  
"You're so perceptive," Ryo admitted, "Where you always this good?"  
  
"Helps if you're a girl," she winked, "Now, are you gonna spill or am I going to have to use force to drag it out of you?"  
  
"It's - it's nothing, it's stupid things really," he said slowly, looking into the wine inside the glass as if it would give him a better perspective of things.  
  
"From stupid things bad bigger things have been known to be born, Ryo. Let me guess: you don't like Gaiev's new job?"  
  
"No, it's not that. I mean, I'm happy that he's happy with this new employment even if it does take him almost all day and he leaves at eight in the morning and comes home at six or sometimes seven in the afternoon and then I leave at nine... We barely have time for "us" time, you know? And it is a bit hard, but we both know it's worth it because we're building up from it, you know, a home? A security? A bond? Stuff like that..."  
  
"Yet, there's a BUT, right?"  
  
Ryo sighed deeply, "It's just that... sometimes... sometimes I wonder if he loves me..." Dana blinked surprised and Ryo rushed to keep speaking, "I mean, (sigh!) I know he does, I KNOW he does... but... sometimes I wonder what's he thinking about when we... you know..."  
  
"Shag?"  
  
"Wh-Dana!"  
  
"Oh, please Ryo, stop pretending to be so innocent and shy, we both you better than that!" she laughed making Ryo giggle, "But seriously, you think he's thinking of something else while you do *do* it?"  
  
"No, not something - someone."  
  
"You think he thinks of someone else?" she frowned looking puzzled. Ryo moaned depressed, "Ryo, baby, what's going on?"  
  
"Everything!" he shouted out, then regained his sences, "I mean, God! It's hard, Dana. I though it wouldn't be because I love him - and I really do - and all, but... turns out it ain't that easy. I can't help but to think he's... thinking about someone else, about someone he might have done before, maybe fucked better or something..."  
  
"Ryo!" she said in mocking alarm, "Such profanity!"  
  
"Sorry... But that's how I feel... I know it sound stupid, hell! I know it IS stupid! He loves me, Dana, I know he does. And I love him. Isn't this weird? To have all these... thoughts of things that scour inside my puny little brain? It just sickens me, that's all..."  
  
"What sickens you more, Ryo? The thought of him doing that - or the fact that you're not around him for a long period of time, hence don't know what exactly is he doing?"  
  
"I don't know. Both. Maybe."  
  
They heard a sound coming from the livingroom and immediately stood up. Gaiev had just walked in to the house and found himself in the need to hold on to the sofa, "Oh, sorry," he said softly when he saw Dana, "I didn't know we 'ad visitors. 'i Dana."  
  
"Hi Gaiev, good to see you!" she waved, but Gaiev seemed strange somehow. He walked towards them and shook Dana's hand, "Are you okay?" she asked.  
  
Gaiev shook his head slowly, "I felt bad and asked my supervisor to let me go 'ome early and probably not show up tomorrow. My 'ead really 'urts an' I think I might 'ave a fever..."  
  
"You do feel warm," Ryo said feeling Gaiev's forehead and looking worried, "Com'on, I'll help you get in to bed..."  
  
"It's alright. I can manage. Don't be a bad 'ost, Ryo and tend to the guests. I'll just go to bed. Good to see you again Dana."  
  
"Get better!" Dana kissed him in the cheek as Gaiev walked by towards the bedroom. Once the door was shut, Dana looked worried, "He looks bad... Poor thing! I bet it's the flu - there's a spread, you know?"  
  
"And I have to leave him..."  
  
"No you don't. I'll talk to Berkeley and tell him to give you a week. You need to sort this thing out Ryo; talk to Gaiev, seek help. You both seem to be needing it..."  
  
"We _both_?" Ryo smirked confused.  
  
"Yes. You're not the only one carrying demons around, Ryo - his might be tougher than he lets show," Dana said as she placed the glass down on the coffee table, took her purse and coat, "Seek help, okay?"  
  
"Ok... thank you for listening" Ryo kissed her cheek. He showed her to the door and then carried himself over to the bedroom, where Gaiev had already gone down under the covers. He crawled up and leaned over his lover's ear, "Gaiev?"  
  
"Yeah?" he replied a bit groggy. His cheeks where flushed red.  
  
"I'll go to the store and get some medicine, okay? I'll be back in a little while..."  
  
"Yeah..." Gaiev drifted.  
  
As he walked over to the near-by pharmacy, Ryo couldn't help but to wonder if prehaps Gaiev had listened to the entire conversation. It was heard to hear when someone came in from inside the bedroom, and it seemed (to him) that Gaiev tried to make noise and get noticed. Nevertheless, his poor puppy was sick and he intended to nurture him back to health. When he came back home, there was one message on the answering machine.  
  
Beep!  
  
"Hi! Hummm... Sorry to call you at home, Gaiev. I just wanted to be clear on the date? It's Monday the 15th, at 8. Be sharp, okay? And bring all your best stuff, okay kid? See you there!"  
  
Ryo stood there in silence and somewhat in shock. A man had called his lover. A stranger! Another guy had his boyfriend's home number, had just called HIS lover _reminding_ him about a _date_??!  
  
He erased the message. No. This was not him. This was just his mind playing nasty tricks on him again. Must control yourself. Must control. He's sick. He couldn't possibly be doing this, com'on Ryo...  
  
He walked inside the room, fresh water and sponge, medicine for the fever and flu symtoms. He sat next to Gaiev, who opened his eyes groggily and smiled, "Hey!" he mumbled, "I heard the phone. Someone called?"  
  
"No. Didn't even left a message."  
  
"Oh," he sounded a bit dissappointed and Ryo picked up that in a flash. He pushed it aside as he placed the wet sponge over his lover's forehead, "Don't you 'ave to work soon?" Gaiev said, sounding more like a claim than a reminder. Ryo shook his head.  
  
"No. I have the week off thanks to Dana," he kissed Gaiev's hand, "I'm here to make you feel better, ok? I'll take care of you."  
  
"Bu' what if you get sick? I'm contagious!"  
  
"Then, you'll take care of me once you're feeling better," Ryo smiled, playing with Gaiev's hair. Gaiev snuggled closer to Ryo. It made him feel better just feeling him close.  
  
"Thank you," he mumbled.  
  
"Sshhh... sleep..."  
  
"I love you..."  
  
"... sleep, my love... sleep..."  
  
"Do you love me?"  
  
"You know I do"  
  
"Then say it: tell me you love me..."  
  
"I love you with all my heart," he kissed his hand. Gaiev smiled.  
  
El último baile para besarte otra vez [The last dance to kiss you again]  
  
El último abrazo y te prometo que me iré [The last hug and I promise you I'll leave]  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------  
  
Note: Not totally drunk, yet I am sleepy. Good wine! Good music! Bad Ryo! Bad Ryo!  
  
Hmmmmmmm... I feel lucky today! (does a little jug)  
  
DanielBlair_5@hotmail.com 


	28. Jealous Guy

Russian Blue  
  
Author's notes: Sweet! Carolina and New England to the Superbowl! Sheah baby!! I'm going for the Panthers. I dunno; there's something about the underdog that always get my soft spot. He he he. Listening to Sheryl Crow. Did you know that I actually had to go to an underground rock music store here in Juarez to get this CD (the one where you have "If it makes you happy") music stores here suck big.  
  
Disclaimer: Fake! Belongs to Sanami Matoh and her people. The song is called "Jealous Guy" by the one, the only, Mr. John Lennon.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------  
  
Ryo looked over the glass window of Gaiev's work. He'd been working there for almost two months now, and with the season almost there (granted, it was still some time away, but you know freak people who start buying their stuff in the middle of July) he'd been working a little extra hard. Not that they complained: with Ryo getting back to regular hours, Gaiev working douring those hours, they had more than enough time to get together and cuddle.  
  
Yet Gaiev seemed a bit distant these days. The fact that fall courses at the art school where going to start soon and he'd still hadn't heard anything from them had him on the edge of insanity, but today Ryo was there on the account of getting a letter from the school, probably telling Gaiev we'd been accepted and they expected him to show up for courses. So, with all these good things in mind he took a step inside the gallery. At the far- end of the store there was a big counter where a middle-aged woman with big red flashy glasses and a colorful curly wig was looking at a magazine that said how to tell if your husband was cheating on you by the ways of the zodiac stars that week. Ryo walked over to that counter, looking around in wonder curiosity at the paintings and picture restaurations that hung from the wall and where being portrayed around the store. The woman took notice of Ryo once he reached the counter.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Oh! Hello! Welcome, welcome. Can we help you?" she said wearing a big, wide smile on her face. Ryo smiled back sweetly.  
  
"Yeah. I'm looking for Gaiev? Is he here?"  
  
"Oh! Gaiev! Yes, he's here! I'll call him," she said, then turning to the back door, she screamed to the top of her lungs, "GAIEV! CUSTOMER!" taking Ryo by surprise. No less than a minute pass by before Gaiev poped his head from the other side of the door and smiled at Ryo.  
  
"Hi! I'll 'ave my lunch break in five. Wait for me luv?"  
  
"Sure," Ryo said. Once he was gone, Ryo turned to the woman, who smiled tenderly at him, "He's my - my..."  
  
"You must me Ryo, right?" she said, "Yes, Gaiev has told me wonders about you." And there was a way in her words that just made Ryo turn all shades of red.  
  
"Thank you?" he said.  
  
Five minutes later, Gaiev opened the door and walked towards Ryo, brushing his lips softly with his own, "Ready?" he asked.  
  
"Have fun you two!" the woman waved.  
  
They walked out of the store, "She's Gladys, the owner of the store," Gaiev explained, "She likes to ask people about their life."  
  
"Apparently you told her ours, right?" Ryo teased.  
  
"She seems fascinated by the gay world. Anyway, where to?"  
  
"I saw a nice place about a block away from here. I though maybe we could go there?"  
  
"Oh! Rosetto's! Yeah! I love their salads!" Gaiev clapped at the idea.  
  
After the small talk, the good food and undergoing the cup of coffe, Ryo handed Gaiev the letter. Gaiev blinked a couple of times, looking surprised at the piece of paper, "What's this?"  
  
"It's from the art school," Ryo sounded as desperate as if he was the one going to the school, "It came in this morning, but I wanted to surprise you 'till lunch. Go on, open it!"  
  
"It's weird!" Gaiev said as he started to open the envelope, "I didn't 'eard from Professor Lewis and 'e was supposed to get me the - Ok... let's see..." he read in silence. His face changed from happiness to a questioning look and a frown.  
  
"What?" Ryo asked.  
  
"I don't understand," Gaiev drifted, "Really... I don't... I mean... this..." Ryo took the letter from Gaiev's hands. Basically, the letter said that Gaiev hadn't shown for his interview and portfolio review, so he wasn't admitted. Ryo's frown dissolved once Gaiev started speaking, "I never 'eard from Professor Lewis; 'e was supposed to call me to tell me when the interview was set, but 'e never did... or did you 'eard anything?"  
  
Interview appointment? Phone call? Ryo's mind drifted to that phonecall he'd heard the answering machine get, when Gaiev was sick. That had to be the appointment.  
  
Crap indeed.  
  
"Well... I guess... But 'ow could this be? I mean, I never even 'ad the chance to _convince_ them not to take me, now I 'ear I'm not in anyway?"  
  
"Gaiev..." Ryo placed the letter down slowly. He needed to come clean. Gaiev looked over at him with this look that was almost sure that something was to come out of Ryo's lips and it was for sure that it wasn't good, "Oh God... The call? The appointment? Remember when you where sick?" Gaiev nodded, "Well... The machine got the phone call... and I erased it... the message..."  
  
"And you didn't tell me?" Gaiev asked obviously upset.  
  
"I thought... It was..."  
  
"It was Proffesor Lewis!" Gaiev squealed out, "It was Professor Issac Lewis, a customer at the shop who liked my work and whom was going to get me an interview for this school! What - who did you think it was??!"  
  
"I don't know! I'm sorry! I got - I got jealous... I- I'm sorry..."  
  
"Jealous of what?!" Gaiev's jaw tensed and he few a strange knot in the bottom of his stomach, "Jesus! He's a 61 year-old man!"  
  
"Yeah, well you've had older..." Ryo muttered. Gaiev leaned back with a blank expression on his face.  
  
"What?" his voice quaked.  
  
"No. I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to - Gaiev..."  
  
"Oh..." Gaiev said softly. He didn't know what else to say. He stood up and walked out of there; stormed more likely. Ryo slammed his fist against the table, cussing loudly at himself; he left a 50 and ran to catch-up with Gaiev, taking him by the arm and pulling him to a stop, "Let go!" he struggled to get lose of Ryo's grip.  
  
"No. Gaiev, please..."  
  
"Just... let... go!" Gaiev managed to get himself free. He took a few steps back, facing Ryo with dark eyes that expressed nothing less than fury, "LOOK! IS BAD ENOUGH THA' I 'AVE TO LIVE WITH THA' EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY OF MY FUCKING LIFE!! I DON'T NEED YOU T' TEMIND ME OF IT!!" he shouted out before turning around and walking a couple of steps more; he turned again, "I THOUGHT WE WERE PASS THAT!"  
  
Ryo decided not to go after him after that. It was best to let things cool down for a while before attempting something else he thought. Besides, Gaiev's belonging where still at the house - they had to talk then.  
  
Gaiev found himself walking late in to the evening across a park, like in the old days. He leaned over a tree and wondered if he should go home now. He didn't want to face Ryo somehow; he felt a bit betrayed, but mostly hurt. He understood: if it was the other way around, and Ryo had the rough end of the stick instead of him? He would of done the same thing.  
  
He turned to his left. A man was trying to take a picture of him. Not of _him_ but of the entire scenario, he could tell. He had to be around 50 years old by the way he moved and looked at the picture. Gaiev took a drift out of his cigarette before choosing to speak, "You need another lens if you want t' take tha' picture with this shitty lighting," he said. The man looked at him in wonder.  
  
"Are you a photographer?" he asked. Gaiev smirked bitterly.  
  
"Not really - but I've worked with the best... and I know about these things..."  
  
"Really?" the man looked at his lens, "Look at that. You're right... what's your name?"  
  
"Gaiev. Why the picture?"  
  
"I like humanity I guess," the man said placing another lense in to the camera, "and you looked blue, so I figure I should take a picture of this blue man, educational purposes, don't get me wrong."  
  
"You're a teacher?"  
  
"Yes. I teach Artistic Photography..."  
  
"At the art school? I wanted to get in to tha' school - but my jealous bloody boyfriend screwed that for me... not tha' I blame 'im though..."  
  
"Hum. Did you say your name is Gaiev?"  
  
"Yeah. Gaiev Borisnkaya."  
  
"Yes! I knew it sounded familiar!" he laughed, "Excuse me, but I was waiting to meet the owner of such a peculiar name. My name is Jacob Freitz, I'm the headmaster at the Art School..."  
  
Gaiev's eyes went wide, "Oh my god!" he said, half laughing, half not believing his dumb luck, "Oh my God! I'm so sorry!"  
  
"No, I am. I never got the chance to see your portfolio, Mr. Boriskaya. I feel you might have some potencial, and I'm usually never wrong. Tell you what: come by, tomorrow at five, here. Bring your portfolio - you have a second chance."  
  
"You mean it?!"  
  
"I never kid around, Mr. Borinskaya," the man winked as he shook Gaiev's hand, "I have a feeling I've seen you before and that's the same feeling that's telling me that I shouldn't let you get away. So, tomorrow it is - five o'clock."  
  
"Yes sir... Yes sir!!!" Gaiev's smile was a wide one, looking more nervous than ever. Jacob took a picture of Gaiev's face.  
  
"Now, that's what I call - happiness..."  
  
After eleven and Gaiev opened the door. Ryo was waiting inside, arms crossed in front of him, sitting on the sofa. Slowly, almost not making noise, Gaiev closed the door and leaned on it, sighing at the clouds of rain that he perceived in the air. Ryo was silently looking at his lover, hoping for words to come out of his mouth; he didn't have the courage to speak, not after this afternoon. He stood up and walked away towards the bedroom.  
  
"What? You're just going to walk away?" Gaiev asked tensely. Ryo turned around and he stood there in the middle of the room.  
  
"I'm sorry - for what I've said and what I did, Gaiev I- I'm really sorry..." his expression was of a man who is hoping for mercy but deep down inside knowing he's not going to get it. Gaiev walked slowly towards him, taking Ryo's hands between his own and kissing it softly, looking deeply in to Ryo's eyes, "Sorry..."  
  
"Well, next time you start acting like a jealous prick I am going to kick your bloddy arss so 'ard you won't be able to sit down for a month, got it luv?" Gaiev smiled, kissing Ryo's hand again. Ryo chuckled and felt embarrassed by the words.  
  
"Got it," he said, and as soon as he said it Gaiev pulled him close for a hug, taking Ryo by surprise upon the suddenty of the actions.  
  
"I don't want to fight, ever. I'm yours, luv; don't ever forget that..."  
  
"I'm sorry... I - " but Gaiev's lips silenced him long enough to feel his cheeks burn and his entire body floating. Yeah he was definately the only one who could make him feel like this.  
  
"Want to 'elp me pick-up my best shit?" Gaiev said against Ryo's lips. He nodded - of course - and they both walked in to the bedroom, Gaiev telling him excitedly about his encounter with Mr. Freitz and his invitation to the park the next day. Soon enough, the bed was covered in photos, negatives and other stuff that Gaiev had taken out of the trunk. Open a bottle of wine and there you have them, Gaiev telling Ryo about each and every one of the pictures, and Ryo just delighted to have the one who made him feel completely happy close to him, kissing him from time to time, and hearing his voice: Ryo's favorite song.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------  
  
Note: Yippitie yappitie.  
  
DanielBlair_5@hotmail.com 


	29. Not one Damn Flower

Russian Blue  
  
Author's notes: Superbowl Sunday! Again, cheering for the Panthers!!! SHEAH!!!! Listening to "Oh Sheila" and remembering my naughty days as a teenager in the 80's. The 80's were the place to be if you wanted to rock. But then again, I was a teen in the mid 80's, early 90's... he! Ok. Have a happy day.  
  
Disclaimer: Fake! Belongs to Sanami Matoh and her people. The song is called "Ni una maldita florecita" (Not one damn little flower) by Christina y los Subterráneos  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------  
  
Gaiev couldn't be happier. He was in the art school, he was working, he had Ryo. It was as if all the bad things that had happened in his life was nothing more than an old story, one that couldn't repeat itself. He gave one last drag to his cigarette before throwing it away in the middle of the night. It was half pass three in the morning, and somehow he wasn't sleepy. Ok, he was a nervous wreck – his best friend, his brother, Micka, was going to land the next day.  
  
"You're going to catch a cold or something," he heard Ryo say as he sat right next to him. True, it was cold, but not blistering cold as it usually got around winter time, "What are you doing up anyway?"  
  
"Can't sleep. Too much stuff going on in my mind."  
  
"Micka, right?"  
  
"Yeah. And I don't even know why. I mean, true, it's been almost seven years since I've last seen 'im face to face, but the last time I talked to 'im over the phone it seemed like no time 'ad gone by at all. It's just weird."  
  
"You're afraid he won't like me?" Ryo teased, snuggling close to Gaiev, who gave a soft smirk and snuggled back.  
  
"Well, 'e's not the one fucking you, luv – so I couldn't care less if 'e likes you or not..."  
  
"Such profanity!" Ryo gave him a playful slap and they both laughed before kissing, "It'll be fine," he reassured his worried lover, "You'll see. Everything will be fine..."  
  
[The day that I was happy  
  
no one played the violin  
  
not one damned little flower  
  
nor a rainbow over me...]  
  
The airport was as packed as a can of tuna. It was as if all the trips where (scheduled) to arrive at the same hour, the same day. Gaiev held a little cardboard sign that read "Miajil Piotr Ivánova" in big russian letters. All of a sudden, he got tackled from behind and both him and Micka fell to the floor, Micka in a barril of laughs, Gaiev in a barril of pain.  
  
"Gaiev, you dirty slut!!!" Micka laguhed as he hugged his best friend tightly, both of them still on the floor, "So long! So good to see you!!"  
  
"Micka... you fat bastard... you... can't... breathe..." Gaiev gasped, turning blue all of a sudden.  
  
"Oh, sorry, sorry," Micka got up and helped Gaiev to do the same, "Forgive me, the excitement got the best of me..."  
  
He hand't changed much in all these years. He was still the blond, freckled, blue-eyed guy he'd been best friends forever. Taller than Gaiev, Micka had the body of a person who doesn't nesseserally exercise yet he didn't need to; he was wearing a black coat and a fluffy hat that got in the way when it was time to tackle the best friend.  
  
"Please tell me that's not a dead animal," Gaiev sounded miserable when Micka picked up his hat.  
  
"This? Naah! It's dead – fake – animal. Anya gave it to me last christmas. Anya – my now ex-girlfriend"  
  
"Shall we go pick your bags?"  
  
"Didn't bring any," Micka shrugged his shoulders and pointed to a suitcase and a back pack, "Got all I need right here. But if you would be so kind to guide me through the malls and shopping centers of New York it would be much appreciated..."  
  
"Never change," Gaiev shook his head in phoney disaproval, "You're still the same kid I left back in Moscow..."  
  
"And you're not! Look at you! You've shrunk like ten kilos since I last saw you, you're so skinny!! Do you eat!?"  
  
"Yes, I do. Com'on... I have the car outside..."  
  
"Where's lover-boy?" Micka looked around.  
  
"He's got a shift today, he'll be working the third one too. So, you'll get to meet him tomorrow... but he sends his greetings... and told me to ask you again to stay at out place..."  
  
"No can't do," Micka shook his head, "You know my policy: hotel = pretty girls. And I intend to meet good american skin while I'm here."  
  
"You twisted, sick individual..."  
  
"Yeah" he sighed, "I try..."  
  
They got inside the car and drove to the closest mall. Micka got to buy almost his entire wardrove and they both enjoyed just talking and making eachother company. It was like they never parted, Gaiev thought. Micka still was the same guy, with the same twisted sence of humer, the same twisted smile. On the other hand, Micka tought all the opposite of Gaiev: he'd changed, a lot. Of course, he had good reasons to, but still, Micka felt the oceans between them, even though he pretended not to. Gaiev had lost that sparkle in the eyes, that smile, that vibe he used to have before everything went down the way it did. He didn't blame him or anything like that but still – still, he half-wished he had his old best friend back, even if it was only for a little while.  
  
"My father died a couple of years ago," Micka said over lunch after Gaiev asked him about his family, "He died of cancer, you know smoking to him was like an arm or a leg..."  
  
"Yeah, I remember..."  
  
"Still, on his dying bed, he calls me over, right? And as I lean closer to hear what he has to say, he asks me, "Micka, tell me the truth: was Gaiev your lover?" What could I do?" they both laughed, "I had to tell him the truth!"  
  
"You didn't..."  
  
"Yes! I told him, "Yes, father. Me and Gaiev were lovers..." – You want to know what the odd thing about it? After I told him, he smiled and died in peace..."  
  
"You will rot in hell for that..." Gaiev smiled, "Your father is looking down on you now and going, 'My son is the freaking father of lies'..."  
  
"At least I'm the topic of conversation when he gets together with all of his dead friends... keeping his dead life interesting, don't you think? I'm making you proud pappa!!" he screamed looking to the cealing and they both laughed. Slowly, the laughter came to a silence, "I'm worried about you," Micka said trying to find Gaiev's eyes, who eluded him as much as possible, "From the moment I saw you I knew something wasn't right here. You mind telling me?"  
  
"You're being paranoid," Gaiev laughed.  
  
"Look at me in the eye and tell me that again"  
  
"You are being paranoid, Micka," Gaiev said looking at Micka's eyes.  
  
"I'll believe you – for now..."  
  
"Where are you staying?"  
  
"I dunno... know of any good hotels?" Micka asked looking at his plate then he turned to watch Gaiev, who had this strange look on his face, "I'm sorry... I didn't mean it like that, man..."  
  
"I know... don't worry... I'm thinking that The Palace is a good one. The rooms are nice, the bar is loaded and the beds are terrific," he smiled, "Hey! If you're not going to get the good advice of an ex-whore then who?"  
  
"You're right..."  
  
[The day that I was happy  
  
I never thought it could be like this  
  
And since no one warned me  
  
I didn't realice it and I fell asleep...]  
  
Gaiev arrived home later that evening and the machine already had around 15 messages and from the first one he felt his soul sink in to an abyss he didn't know it existed untill he heard those words...  
  
"Ryo? Ryo, are you there? This is Drake man, listen: Berkely is pissed, you haven't arrived yet – call as soon as you get this, ok?"  
  
"Hey Ryo, get your ass down to the precinct now!!!"  
  
"Hello? Ryo, man, is Drake. Com'on, you're starting to worry me. Call..."  
  
"Gaiev, this is Bill. Gaiev, Ryo hasn't been around the precinct, you know something? We're trying to contact his cell phone but no answer. Call me if you know anything..."  
  
"Yo' Gaiev! This is Bikky. Man. They're looking for Ryo all over the place, where is he? I swear if something happened to him because of you I'll kick your ass!!"  
  
"Hey there, sukka! Too bad you're not home yet. Guess who we ran into? He's a fisty one! We'll see to it that he's not so fisty if you don't get your ass down to the Raven... One hour. Be there."  
  
By the time the message had ended, Gaiev had already called Berkeley and ran to the door, where he stopped and looked at the clock. The message and the clock where three hours apart.  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------- Notes from Author: Love come quick! Love come in a hurry... Valentine's day... Curse to all thee who celebrate it in freedom!!  
  
Yes... I am bitter... :6  
  
DanielBlair_5@hotmail.com 


	30. Have you Ever Seen The Rain?

Russian Blue  
  
Author's notes: 80 reviews!!! WOW!!! Thank you so much people!! I am all happy and cheery!!! Almost want to cry. Ok. I am not going to cry because that would only bring massive headache and puffy eyes and I don't want to give the wrong impression at my job tomorrow (I am working at a veterinary clinic now, yeeey!!! ^.^) Chapter 30. I should do a special presentation... ha!! You wait and see!!!  
  
Disclaimer: Fake! Belongs to Sanami Matoh and her people. The song is called "Have you Even Seen the Rain?" by Creedence Clearwater Revival.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------  
  
[Someone told me long ago  
  
There's a calm before the storm  
  
I know! It's been coming for some time...]  
  
The house was filled with cops, looking for a clue, searching every inch of the premises. One of their own was missing and God help them – even the Devil couldn't hide Ryo.  
  
"Again, where were you?" Berkeley asked, unconvinced by Gaiev's words, who felt completely useless by this point.  
  
"I've told you, (I was with) my friend, Micka!!" he exclaimed, half in Russian, half in English. Drake was trying to calm him down but he was beyond that point. There was a commotion at the front door when Micka walked by, not caring if several cops had strict orders not to let anyone outside of the family in.  
  
"Sorry I'm late," Micka said a bit out of breath.  
  
"Who the fuck is this?" Berkeley asked seemingly upset. Micka pulled out a business card, his eyes blazing fire at the comish.  
  
"Miajil Piotr Ivánova, the best friend and lawyer of this man, stop harrassing my client or else your ass will be so up to the hill with paperwork that your grandchildren's children will be still filling it out... officer..."  
  
"Micka..." Gaiev pulled Micka's arm down, trying to calm him down. Micka was like a protective Rottweiler now, "Heel..."  
  
"It's nice to know you have such friends," Berkeley smiled and walked out of the room, yet he wasn't all that happy. Gaiev sighed and hid his face between his hands, his desperation and anxiety growing by every passing second.  
  
"(What happened?)" Micka asked in Russian.  
  
"Ryo's been kidnapped," Gaiev answered in English, then he added, "(I'm suspecting that they think that I had something to do with it...)"  
  
"(Why?)"  
  
"(Because of my morbid personality? How the hell should I know, Micka!!)"  
  
"(Wow! Barking at the best friend here... not good...)"  
  
The phone rang. All in alert and stand-by. Gaiev was motioned to answer when the tracing team was ready. He picked up the receiver and spoke, "Hello?"  
  
"Yes, is a Gaiev Borishnika there?"  
  
"Speaking..."  
  
"Yeah... I'm calling from County Hospital..."  
  
He took a breath. Ryo was alive, a the hospital, but still, alive...  
  
He hung up shortly after and gave Berkeley a dirty look, "I'm going to the hospital. Hope to see you there..."  
  
"Wow, you can't leave, you're under custody..."  
  
"What?" both him and Micka said, arching their brow, then, as if his life depended on it, Gaiev turned to Micka and whispered "(Please, go and tell me how is he... go with Drake to the hospital, get me some news about Ryo...)"  
  
"(I can't leave you alone with this pig!)" Micka protested.  
  
"(Micka, GO!)"  
  
"(Alright, alright! Sheesh!)"  
  
Gaiev moved towards Berkeley, "Let's go then," he said walking by pass him. Berkeley took a look at Micka and left behind Gaiev.  
  
"Raspizdyay kolhoznii*" Micka muttered in an undertone; he then turned to face Drake, who blinked a couple of time as if wondering what to do next. Micka smiled, "Let us go to the hospital.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Bikky and Carol were still waiting for the doctor's news. Bikky couldn't stop cracking his nuckles, muttering to himself what Carol could only assume where cussing words towards Gaiev. She knew Bikky all too well: on the way over, Bikky was furious, yelling and blabbering on and on about Gaiev's relationship with the mafia – the Russian mafia, and that he had only been bad news to Ryo since the beginning, and that if anything happened to Ryo, he swore Gaiev would face a slow and painful death himself.  
  
Carol looked up when she heard steps. It was Drake, acompanied by another man who was not a doctor o though he could be. He had messy blond hair and deep baby blue eyes, dressed in a very executive suit and a loose tie. Diana was there too, along with other cops who where keeping an eye on things.  
  
"Hello," Drake greeted, "What's the word?"  
  
"He's in the OR right now," Diana said silently, "Doctors say that his hand was banged-up pretty badly... other than that..."  
  
"Excuse me," Carol said, intruding, "Hi, hello there, who is this?"  
  
"Oh! Forgive my rudeness. This is..."  
  
"Micka," said the blond taking one of Carol's hands and kissing it gently, "Pleasure to meet you..."  
  
"Ca-Carol... I'm... "  
  
"She's my fiancée," Bikky pulled her towards him, looking at Micka with a 'hands off!' look in his eyes.  
  
"Oh! You must be Bikky, Ryo's son, am I correct?" Micka said with a smile. Bikky and Carol frowned.  
  
"Shea... who told you?"  
  
"I'm Micka – Micka..."  
  
"Oooh!" Carol's eyes widen, "You're Gaiev's friend, right?!"  
  
"Right..."  
  
"Where is that fag!?" Bikky spatted out.  
  
"Bikky!"  
  
"The 'fag' in question is at the precinct," Micka was serene in the outside yet inside his insides started boiling against the attitude this blond... 'kid' was taking against his friend, "Apparently they think he had something to do with it – buch of rubbish if you ask me: he was with me all day. Even picked me up from the airport... n' stuff..."  
  
"Sheah, good excuse," Bikky muttered.  
  
"Mr. Maclean?" the doctor asked. They all turned their attention towards the man in the operation gown.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Ryo's eyes opened slowly at the beeping sound next to him. His head was pounding like chinese torture, and the soft light emanating from the lamps only hurted his eyes as if he'd been inside a dark cave for centuries. By the silence in the room, he could tell it had to be late at night – very, very late at night. He turned over to his other side only to take a look at Dee, who was sitting on the chair next to him, looking relieved.  
  
"Where am I?" Ryo asked softly, forcing a smile at the sight of Dee's grateful face, even though he wasn't sure why he was looking so grateful in the first place.  
  
"The hospital, bud," he replied, touching the edges of Ryo's face.  
  
"The hospital?" Ryo frowned.  
  
"Yeah. They found you in an alley, three days ago, you don't remember?"  
  
Ryo was about to shake his head but then, it came to him like a waterfall of events, painful events. His eyes filled up with tears as his voice became shoaked, "Three?" he asked, shaking. Dee nodded as he tighten the grip of his hand.  
  
"Ryo... hey, Ryo... calm down... Hey..." he stroke Ryo's hair with kidness, "It's alright. Everything will be alright..."  
  
"Where's Gaiev?" he asked, wanting to get up. Dee said nothing and Ryo became alarmed, tears already rolling down his face, "Oh my god... Gaiev... GAIEV!!"  
  
He woke up. The doctor was there, and so where other nurses. Broken hand, two broken ribs, several injuries... Ryo recalled every little detail and he told everything to Berkeley and Drake, who handeled the investigation. Yet no one seemed to be wanting to tell him the whereabouts of Gaiev, as if it was a taboo subject or something and that was the thing that ticked Ryo off mostly.  
  
"Where's Gaiev?" he asked Carol, and her face went sightly pale.  
  
"I – Bikky's at school. He'll be over a little later on, you know. He's been very worried about you and all..."  
  
"For the love of God, Carol – I was kidnapped, beaten, tortured and my hand is a complete mess, if not useless now. They didn't speak much English but I could hear them speak his name, tell me where the hell is he??" Ryo sounded upset. She didn't have the courage to look up and Ryo suddenly felt he couldn't breathe, "He – He's alright, right?" he said with a voice filled with mixed emotions. Carol shook her head and it was his worse nightmare all over, "Carol, tell me what happened... TELL ME!!!" he screamed. She was taken aback by his reaction.  
  
"I don't know – Nobody knows actually. He – he just... he just dissapeared... after..."  
  
"After what?"  
  
Carol just couldn't bring herself to tell him, but there was nothing more than agony in those eyes...  
  
"After _what_ Carol?" Ryo's voice was tight. His eyes released a tear that rolled down his face.  
  
"He's gone, Ryo," Carol looked up at Ryo, "He's just – gone..."  
  
[I wanna know  
  
have you ever seen the rain?  
  
Coming down on a sunny day...]  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Oh Lord! Listening to LODI right now. Aaaah! That song only makes me want to have a good boose, turn off the lights at night and listen... OR listen to this song while driving in the middle of the night, in a highway somewhere... Yeah...  
  
Thank you all for the wonderful reviews. Next Chapter? Part one of the series finale. 'Nuff said.  
  
DanielBlair_5@hotmail.com  
  
Translator  
  
* Raspizdyay Kolhoznii = you stupid Redneck 


	31. Sex, Shame and Tears

Russian Blue  
  
Author's notes: Listening to oldies. Oldies but goodies. Chapter 31 here. Datz right, first part of the ending. Most questions answered here... He he he! Bought some of those chinese bracelets, with little chinese men hanging from the strings. They're so cute!!! .  
  
Disclaimer: Fake! Belongs to Sanami Matoh and her people. The song is called "Sexo, Pudor y Lágrimas" (Sex, Shame and Tears) by Aleks Sintek. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------

_"Womberah-direm-dah _

_womberam-direm-dah _

_womberam-direm-dah _

_womberam-baram...  
  
Womberah-direm-dah _

_womberam-direm-dah _

_womberam-direm-dah _

_womberam-baram...  
  
_

_A veces no pienso... me vuelto tan frío y no estoy _

_a veces me ausento de mis sentimientos _

_y luego sonrío, _

_recuerdo y me aferro a vivir _

_y a veces quisiera matar por tu amor _

_tan solo por un momento...  
  
¡Y es que todavía no encuentro _

_lo que en mi seria normal! _

_Para darte mucho más _

_y entregarme por completo... _

_Sexo, pudor o lágrimas... me da igual..."  
  
[Sometimes I don't think... I turn so cold and I'm not here Sometimes I go away from my feelings And then I smile, I remember and I hang on to life And sometimes I would want to kill for your love Just for a moment...  
  
The thing is that I haven't found What would be normal in me! To give you much more And give myself completely Sex, shame or tears... It's the same to me...]_  
  
The city looked as amazing from that hight as it did from the street below, were the wind probably didn't blow as hard or as cold as it did ten stories up. Micka looked down – it always amazed him how much people looked like ants from that point of view. He smiled vaguely as he threw the cigarette from there and half hoped it would land in some unsuspected old man walking by, just complaining about life and then a burning cigarette would just land on top of his wig and it go up in flames and people started to run all over and—well, you get the idea...  
  
But Micka wasn't there because of this. He was there because he knew he had to be there. He gave a smirk as soon as he layed his eyes on the shaggy figure sitting on the edge of the building, looking down on people, leaning against an air vent that curved just over, "So, how long have you been using?" he asked in Russian.  
  
"What do you mean?" the other one asked with a low and soft voice.  
  
"Don't bullshit the father of bullshit, my friend! I can smell the dust a mile away. How long has it been?"  
  
"Five... six months... not really sure..."  
  
"I thought you quit..."  
  
"Yeah, who really does?"  
  
"People do"  
  
"People lie all the time, you're a lawyer, and you should know that"  
  
"True," Micka sat next to him, on the "safe" side, "Yet I never knew you where that kind of liar, Gaiev."  
  
"I'm not."  
  
"Then what are you?"  
  
"How's Ryo?" he asked, sighing slightly, slidding his hand over his face in an effort to keep in touch with whatever was going on.  
  
"On the health bis, he's good. Doctors say that his right hand is going to be out of service for a while, they had to reconstruct it... a couple of broken ribs... a lot of bruices... but I'm thinking he must be awake by now..."  
  
"Good," Gaiev smiled, looking to the horizon, taking a drag out of his half- smoked cigarette, "That's good to hear – that he's alive, I mean..."  
  
"What did the cops say?"  
  
"Questions, same ones they made me at home. Finally Berkeley decided that it was pointless because it seems my sotry kept going on and on, the same deal over, and over... so they finally let me go..."  
  
"And you went to the hospital..."  
  
"You saw what happened..."  
  
"Yeah, I did..." Micka thought back. They had been still waiting on news about Ryo when Gaiev arrived. No one had time to stop Bikky from going at him like a Rottweiler protecting its home, and not even Gaiev expected that punch straight to the jaw that made him take a spin and right down to the floor. Almost everybody ran to stop Bikky from going at him again, Micka helping Gaiev to his feet.  
  
"You stay away from him!!" Bikky screamed furious, "It's your damned fault Ryo's hurt!! Yours!! Stay away from Ryo, you fag!!!"  
  
"Bikky, stop it!" Carol intervened, but her voice seemed worthless to Bikky's rage.  
  
"He was better off not knowing you! He was better off not being around you!!"  
  
"Bikky..." Gaiev wanted to say something, but Bikky cut him off, "He's only with you because you look so much like Dee, but you're nothing like him, you fag!!! Stay the fuck away from him!!!"  
  
It was as if someone had dumped a bucket of liquid nitrogen over his head. Gaiev shoved Micka out of his side and ran out, not listening to Micka's pleads of stopping not even listening to what Carol said afterwards. He just ran. He ran outside, he ran as fast as he could go, to nowhere in particular. Hours later he found himself at the entrance of The Raven, panting and sweating, even if it was cold as heck outside. With a second's hessitation, he walked in.  
  
"So, how much did it cost?" Micka asked in a very casual sort of way. Gaiev shrugged his shoulders.  
  
"Ten... It wasn't the good stuff, just, you know, to get by..."  
  
"So it has come to this? Com'on Gaiev! I thought that at least you would be a decent enough druggie, not some loser who is happy with just snorting out baby powder! Sheesh!"  
  
"Sorry, Mother..." there was a tint of sarchcasm in Gaiev's voice.  
  
They where just sitting in complete silence, making each other strange and unusual company. Micka took out another cigarette and lighten it up, savoring the sweet taste of that first drag, looking at the burning edge for a while, "Your life is like this cigarette," he said thoughtfully, "It's burning way out of control for a while... and yet you seem to be adicted to this pain... You might think that they've won, but they haven't if you're still here."  
  
Gaiev smiled, ironic and selfish, he thought, that was life lately. He looked at the night covering the city below and felt backward. This whole ordeal felt strange to him. He looked back at Micka, "Do you think Bikky was right? About Ryo being around me because I look like his ex-lover, I mean?"  
  
"Do you?"  
  
Gaiev smirked ironically, "I'm, like, the exact replica...I think that the only thing that tells us apart is the fact that we come from different genetic pools..."  
  
"Well... would you be? I mean, if you where Ryo?"  
  
Silence. Gaiev turned to the city again and Micka felt a void inside his gut. This was not good. "What are you planning to do?" Micka's insides felt the worse twisting they've felt in years. Gaiev took a drag out of the cigarette he took out of Micka's mouth and leaned back, his face to the sky, "Gaiev?"  
  
"The right thing, Micka..." he said with a silent tone in his voice, a tone Micka didn't like one bit. He sighed, suddenly wishing he was a psychic or something like that so he could read Gaiev's mind. He looked over at his friend, who was lost inside the temples of the night, his eyes lost in unseen territory.  
  
"Am I going to be sorry later?" he asked softly. He didn't really wanted to say these words, he just felt like saying them and he didn't know why. Gaiev gave a smirk as a reply.  
  
"Depends," he said looking down at what was left of the cigarette, "If your view on things is as I once knew it, then no – you won't be sorry. I do have something to ask you, though..."  
  
"Anything"  
  
"I want you to take care of some business for me, okay? I want you – to take care of some things later, okay?" Gaiev's lips gave him a smile. Micka sighed and nodded. He would do anything for this man; anything at all.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------  
  
_"Womberah-direm-dah _

_womberam-direm-dah _

_womberam-direm-dah _

_womberam-baram  
  
womberah-direm-dah _

_womberam-direm-dah _

_womberam-direm-dah _

_womberam-baram..."_  
  
Ryo was kind of happy he was getting out of the hospital that day. Kind of: he wanted to get out so he could look for Gaiev; the sheer knowledge of his absence was driving him mad and desperate. He was usually very calm, very nice, very positive, but lately he'd been every nurse's worst nightmare. A hell-patient, if you wish to put words to whatever he was feeling. The ride home was a long one and as soon as he saw the door open he just wanted to knock the hell everyone away and run inside to take a bath and go out to look for Gaiev, his insides burning with the sheer thought of Gaiev being in some sort of danger. Yet the inside showed a completely different story: the table was set, balloons all over the place and a big-ass banner that read "WELCOME BACK!!" in big wide red letters.  
  
Oh, and, Gaiev was there.  
  
"Welcome back, love!" he hugged him tightly. Not only was Ryo shocked, but Carol, Bikky and Drake were too, all of them blinking at this sight. Drake was there, looking calm. Gaiev kissed Ryo slightly on the lips, "Missed you lots!" he said.  
  
"What-who? What's going on here? Gaiev...!" Ryo sounded upset, parting from Gaiev's grasp a couple of steps, "What the hell?! Where in hell were you??!!"  
  
"With Micka," Gaiev's natural response was, "I'm sorry I didn't go t' the 'ospital, bu' some of your family members," he gave Bikky a dirty look, "didn't think it was appropriate for me to be there. I wanted t' respect their wishes as best as I could, bu' it's been 'ell for me, my love... I made pasta!"  
  
Pasta? He was going to fix everything with pasta?! Ryo's brain was spinning. So much scattered information, all over the place. He looked at Bikky with wondering eyes. Was Gaiev telling the truth? By the way Bikky's eyes tried to hide from Ryo's gaze, he figured that at least part of it was true. No time to ponder about it. Next thing Ryo knew was that he was sitting along with their guests on the dinner table, eating and drinking, talking about the hospital, about how Ryo was feeling and Ryo was simply answering to whatever the extent of his best manners would allow him to. It was just too much. He wanted to tell everyone to leave him and Gaiev alone for a while. He wanted to blame Gaiev for being so miserable for the last days – weeks, he wanted to tell him off, to scream at him, to make him miserable for all the hours he'd been miserable without knowing a single thing about his whereabouts. No. That wasn't it. He wanted to kiss him, he wanted to touch him, to cry on his shoulders, to make him feel like the most important thing in his life; he wanted God to know how thankful he was that Gaiev was alright. He wanted to make love to him, slowly, tenderly. He wanted Gaiev to make love to him.  
  
_"Me quieres ver grande, _

_a pesar de lo débil que soy _

_y si toco hasta el fondo _

_me sacas de nuevo... _

_Por eso me quedo, _

_me aferro y te quiero a morir, _

_por eso aquí adentro tú estas todo el tiempo... _

_Viviendo del sufrimiento...  
  
¡Y es que todavía no encuentro _

_lo que en mi seria normal! _

_Para darte mucho más _

_y entregarme por completo... _

_Sexo, pudor o lágrimas... me da igual..."  
  
[You want to see me grand even though I am so weak and if I touch rock bottom you pull me out again... that's why I stay, I hang on and I love you to death, That's why inside me You're there all the time... Living out of pain...  
  
The thing is that I haven't found What would be normal in me! To give you much more And give myself completely Sex, shame or tears... It's the same to me...]  
_  
Drake had already left by the time Bikky started to clean the table and the rest of the group gathered around the living room. Ryo's arm was carefully bandaged and his face was still recovering from the beating. In other words, he kind of looked like crap, yet nobody made any comments about this. He was carefully placed on the sofa by Gaiev, pillows on his back to make him the more comfortable possible.  
  
"I guess I should go," he heard Gaiev say all of a sudden. Go? Go where? His eyes where speaking volumes where his voice was too clogged-up to do so. Gaiev smiled sweetly, "Don't worry love. I'm just going to pick up some stuff over at Micka's. I'll be back in an 'our or so. 'e's leaving tomorrow mornin', so I pretty much have t' do this..." he then kissed Ryo fully on the lips.  
  
"I'll be waiting for you," he heard Ryo's voice say. He nodded before leaving them to be. As soon as the door was locked behind him, Ryo gave a threatening look over to Bikky, "What exactly happened between you two?"  
  
"Com'on Ryo!" Bikky snapped back, "The guy is nothing more than bad news the moment you met him!! He's gonna get you killed!!"  
  
"That is not your decision to make!" Ryo growled as he was starting to get up with some help from Carol; help he immediately refused.  
  
"I'm not going to let him hurt you again!" Bikky's eyes caught fire.  
  
"I think I'm old enough to stop having a sitter, Bikky," Ryo shouted as he walked over to the bedroom, "He's my lover, he means the world to me!!"  
  
"He's bad news!! He's going to get you – or Carol – killed!!" Bikky shouted louder as Ryo began walking.  
  
"He's not – Bikky, Dee's not going to get anyone killed!" Ryo shouted out as he turned before he reached the entrance. He realized what he'd said even before he said it. Isn't strange, that when you least want to accept something it somehow crawls out of you in the most painful moments? Bikky's eyes showed Ryo the shock he had towards himself, but it was Carol's voice that made him react.  
  
"Dee? Ryo, are --- are you telling me that you're with Gaiev... because he looks like... Dee?" her voice had a slight tremble.  
  
No. That wasn't it. He loved Gaiev... he loved him because he was Gaiev, not because of his resemblance with Dee. Time had erased Dee from his heart and placed Gaiev in his place, to love and to – to love!  
  
Then why was it so hard to say that now?  
  
"Ryo," Carol spoke again, "Answer me..."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------  
  
_"Womberah-direm-dah womberam-direm-dah womberam-direm-dah womberam-baram..."_  
  
Micka looked over at his friend with a worried grin on his face as Gaiev finished packing some stuff and placed it gently inside the old trunk, locking it afterwards. "There!" he sighed with a satisfied grin, "It's all taken care of now. Are you sure Alexeyena is not part of this?" he turned to face Micka, who shook his head softly.  
  
"Not a word. She's over in Canada working out some of the company's transactions, she won't be around to see the – (ahem!) fireworks"  
  
"Excellent! And how about the other thing I wanted you to do?"  
  
"It's all been taken care of. Dorian Reeve will be out by tomorrow at noon..."  
  
"Excellent... now, Micka... return to the homeland... I'll call you when things get better..."  
  
"I don't see how they will get better, Gaiev," Micka sounded worried. Gaiev smiled at him.  
  
"Trust me. They will..."  
  
Desperately, Micka wanted to believe him.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
_"Womberah-direm-dah womberam-direm-dah womberam-direm-dah womberam-baram..."  
_  
Next morning came and went. No sign of Gaiev. Ryo got hysterical. He immediately called the precinct and begged Drake to look in to it yet the feeling was sinking deeper and deeper. By noon, that feeling got even worse when Drake called him up to tell him all about Dorian's sudden release.  
  
"It came up like a magic trick," Drake said, "He got his wonderful new lawyer from out of town and just like that, he was out the door by noon today... Berkeley was shouting all over the place, as if we had something to do with it..."  
  
"Do you think he's behind Gaiev's sudden disappearance?" Ryo asked, afraid of the answer.  
  
"Could be, I mean, Gaiev was practically responsible for Dorian being in jail, you know? You want me to dig in to that?"  
  
"I'll come over..."  
  
"Ryo, please; if Berkeley sees you here, he'll have your ass and not in a good way!!"  
  
"I have to find him, Drake... He left last night, and he hasn't come back since... I have to find him..." his voice started to trail off as thoughts of a dead Dee filled his mind, and started to wonder what if Gaiev was headed towards the same destiny. He felt a void inside that suffocated him like nothing else before it – or after it – and decided that he would find Gaiev, even if Berkeley had his ass... in any way possible...  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------  
  
Dorian climbed down of the taxi cab and smiled at the entrance of the Grand Palace Hotel. The cab driver had been instructed to take him there, no questions asked. Dorian was still wondering about his sudden release, about the presence of that nice-looking lawyer who'd made it all possible.  
  
"A very important client wanted me to help you out, sir," the lawyer had spoken in perfect Russian. Dorian smiled. So, the family never forgets, hum? He just never thought the actions would take such short notice. He was thankful to whoever it was who was giving him such nice accommodations as his belongings had been taken over by the state. He was all smiles when the doors slid open at the penthouse suite, the sounds of waterfalls crawling over the walls. He could see the helicopter landing site across the room, beyond the glass sliding doors. It was nice. He even made a little dance to celebrate his sudden good luck, and to top it off he decided to take a risk and call for room service.  
  
"Yes? This is the penthouse suite. Yes, I would like to order some of your best wine..."  
  
"Why not make it champagne?" a very familiar voice came over from the bedroom entrance. Dorian looked up, in shock as Gaiev walked slowly over to him, a bottle of champagne and two glasses in his hands and wearing nothing more than a tank top and boxers, "I took the liberty to ask for the service ahead, I hope you don't mind..."  
  
Dorian smiled. He hung up the phone and stood up, taken aback by what his eyes where witnessing. Gaiev could sum up the presence of Dorian in one word: attitude, "Or don't you like champagne, darling?" he asked, pouring some of it in to the glass, offering it to Dorian shortly after. Dorian raised an eyebrow as he took the glass from Gaiev's hands and watched as Gaiev gave the bottle a big drink before pouring some of the champagne in to his own glass, "What?" the black-haired man asked.  
  
"What's going on here? I thought you where dead..." Dorian said in a dangerous voice, smiling viciously as he walked slowly towards Gaiev, who didn't make an effort to move away, on the contrary: he looked directly in to Dorian's eyes and smiled. It seemed as if he was laced with poison, perhaps like some kind of snake, sly and clever, and if you let it it'll bite.  
  
"Dead? Not likely. An' nothing's going on 'ere – not yet anyway...I jus' wanted to spend some time with my former master, is tha' bad?" he said, almost innocently, stepping closer to Dorian until he was practically inches away from him, "I see my lawyer is a damn good one..."  
  
"It was you, was it?" Dorian seemed surprised by it, "You send that lawyer over... set me free... why?" and before Gaiev could speak, Dorian had already thrown the glass away and was now taken Gaiev painfully by the wrists, pulling him even closer to his body making Gaiev moan softly as the action took place, "Why should I forget you where the rat who send me there in the first place?"  
  
"I don't see 'ow you could," Gaiev's voice was a tad out of breath, looking down at Dorian's lips, "Then again I got you out, didn't I? I made sure th' family knew who Ryo was so 'e was sent t' th' 'ospital, didn't I? An' now I want you... I want you t' fuck me... make me feel the same... make it all better... I want it... please?"  
  
Dorian smiled. He kissed Gaiev so roughly his lips barely had time to adjust to the opposite tenderness they where used to with Ryo. Dorian's grasp was still tight as he pushed Gaiev over to the sofa, biting and pulling on those tender lips as Gaiev moaned softly at the feel of pain circulating his body. They fell on top of the sofa and then to the floor, where Dorian asked, "Do you have any?" Gaiev shook his head, breathing heavily, "Good... good sukka..."  
  
"Yes... I am a good sukka..." Gaiev said and received a hard slap across the face.  
  
"I thought I told you never to speak, sukka..." Dorian said before returning to his kissing, pinning Gaiev's hands over his head and getting nothing but positive responses from Gaiev's body.  
  
_"Sexo pudor y lagrimas me da igual..."  
  
[Sex, shame and tears... it's all the same to me...]  
_  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------  
  
Note from author: Started a new job. Sorry for the delay!!! I promise to deliver the goods, yes??? My keyboard is all screwy. It's a Spanish keyboard. Got to get used to it... ñyaaaa....  
  
Fake No. 6 ROCKS!!! O  
  
DanielBlair5hotmail.com


	32. Firefly

Russian Blue  
  
Notes from Autor: As I'm listening to a very cool song, I am reminded why I despise winamp... anyway, I hope you're enjoying this. Anyway (again) I hope that this fic leaves you people wanting for more... and more!!! ( Things are going great at the new job... tomorrow I am going manga and clothes shopping because God knows, I need both.  
  
Disclaimer: Fake belongs to Sanami Matoh and her people. Other characters belong to moi. Today's song is called "Firefly" by Vanessa Mae (Instrumental)  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------  
  
He slowly opened his eyes and felt the soft breath of his lover touching his skin. He smiled. It was a feeling he'd missed for quite a while now, this feeling of belonging, of being part of something extraordinary. Soft blue eyes opened and smiled when they got a glipse of his own narrow eyes.  
  
"Are you sure?" a voice said. He nodded. He needed to do this. For his own sake...  
  
... for Ryo's safety...  
  
A final kiss and the dream was over. He was back in that room, feeling nauseous with the cheap perfume aroma that intoxicated the air. He looked to his side: he couldn't more his arms much as the bondage work Dorian made was unlike any other. Bastard knew what he was doing. He sighed and tried to relax, thinking about his next move; just a matter of time... and patience.  
  
Drake was not surprised to see Ryo earlier than expected, yet the expression on Ryo's face was of a dead man. He sat in front of Drake, letting a soft moan of pain run through his lips.  
  
"Are you sure you're supposed to be here? I mean, don't you have another week or so?" Drake asked. Ryo shook his head.  
  
"I need to find Gaiev," he said. Drake blinked a couple of times as Ryo continued to talk, "He said he needed to go to his friend's hotel to pick up a couple of things but he never came back, and then when I called the hotel, his friend had already left... and no one has seen him... Drake, I need to find him..." Drake could tell Ryo was making super-human attempts to keep it cool. His voice was drowning in unseen tears and his eyes seemed to have been crying a lot lately. He sighed as he gave Ryo a file.  
  
"I didn't want you to see this, but given the circumstances..." he said, studying every single one of Ryo's expressions, "As I've told you yesterday, Dorian got out... here's the file..."  
  
"Dorian!" Ryo gasped as he flipped through the reports.  
  
"He got a very impressive lawyer, got him out in less than 72 hours... maybe that's a clue or something... we should tell Berkeley about this, I mean, Gaiev was the one who helped bring them down, maybe there's a connection..."  
  
"Maybe!?" Ryo shouted out frantically, standing and almost running to the door. He was stopped by Drake, "We need to move out now!! Gaiev could be dead!! He could be agonizing as we just sit around..."  
  
"Agreed, but move to where exactly, Ryo?"  
  
Good question.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------  
  
Bikky was less than amused when he opened the door and saw Gaiev there.  
  
"What do you want?" he asked in a very deep voice.  
  
"Can I come in? I need to talk t' you..."  
  
"No. Whatever you have to say you can say it just fine here... what do you want?"  
  
"Fine. It won't take long anyway. I jus' wanted t' tell you that you won't 'ave to worry 'bout Ryo getting 'urt because of me anymore. I'll be leaving town soon... and I wanted you t' give this to Ryo for me..." he said, giving Bikky a sealed envelope that Bikky took and looked at it strangely, "Don't worry, it's not Anthrax or anything like that..."  
  
Bikky's eyes spitted fire to Gaiev, "Is that all?" he asked. Gaiev nodded.  
  
"Thank you..." he said, turning his back and walking away. Bikky took a step out, "Good!" he yelled out loud, "Ryo is better off without you! He might be in love with you because you look like Dee, but guess what? You're nothing like Dee!! NOTHING!!"  
  
"Of course I'm not," Gaiev said silently, "I'm nothing like Dee. 'e must 'ave been a great guy if Ryo was able to love 'im as deeply as 'e did... does... whatever... look, jus' give 'im that, okay? I promise I'll be out of both of your lives by tomorrow morning..."  
  
"I sure hope so," Bikky smiled bitterly.  
  
Gaiev disappeared behind the elevator doors. Then, he was gone before Bikky got the chance to see him out the door.  
  
Carol was surprised to see Gaiev behind the elevator door, "Gaiev!" she gasped and he smiled.  
  
"'iya' Carol!" he greeted with a kiss, "You going 'ome now?"  
  
"Sheaah... You vanished... Ryo's been looking for you like crazy! What are you doing? Why are you doing this to him?"  
  
"I have my reasons, sweet Carol... When are you do?"  
  
"In a moth... but that's not the point!! You're hurting Ryo... he doesn't deserve this from you..."  
  
"I've been getting tha' a lot lately," he sighed, "But don't worry. I'll soon be with Ryo forever and ever... I'm 'eading 'ome right now, as a matter of fact..."  
  
"Gaiev... whatever it is, you know Ryo loves you, don't you?" he asked in a sweet voice. Gaiev smirked and shook his head softly, "No, dearest one," he said in a very serene voice, "'e doesn't love me... 'e loves _the idea_ of me, if that makes any sense..."  
  
"Gaiev, you know that's not true!"  
  
"It is love, it is. Let's stop pretending it's not and face the facts, alright? 'e loves the idea of 'aving 'is former lover back to life... 'e loves the idea of 'aving this... this Dee person back to the realm of the living, even if 'e 'as to call him by a different name, and I think we both deserve something better than that, don't you agree?"  
  
"Are you going to... break-up with him?"  
  
"It's a way to put it, yes... but don't worry... I'll never leave 'is side..." he gave her a soft kiss on the forehead and headed out, getting a cab before Carol could say anything. She immediately took out her cell phone and dialed up the numbers to get Ryo on the other line.  
  
Damn! Don't you just hate it when that pesky little voice on the other end says "We're sorry but the number you're trying to reach is out of order"... god! You almost want to kill that lady who lent her voice so you could hear that message.  
  
She only hoped that by the time she got home, Ryo's cell phone was on-line again. As soon as she walked through the door, she saw Bikky hanging up. "Who was that?" she asked.  
  
"Ryo," Bikky said, "Gaiev was here a couple of minutes ago – I thought he oughta' know..."  
  
Carol smiled and kissed her fiancée.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------  
  
Ryo was shocked to hear Drake's voice on the other end of the phone. He'd received Bikky's phone call at the precinct telling him that Gaiev had been there and was now heading home (because according to Bikky that was where Gaiev was headed as well) and now he had to pull over to hear details about the body finding at that hotel... not just any body...  
  
"It's Dorian, Ryo. Somebody went all Jack the ripper on his ass because he's been cut up pretty bad... I feel almost sorry for the guy... almost..."  
  
"Any clues?" Ryo asked, frightened. None. Apparently it had been a hit of some sorts. Ryo didn't buy it: Drake was a lousy liar... Something deep inside told him Gaiev had something to do with this and if he wasn't mistaken, then the question would be what was Gaiev doing with Dorian in that hotel room? Why didn't Gaiev told him Dorian had gotten out the night they met? And all these questions came to a halt when he saw Gaiev, sitting on the front door, smoking a cigarette. The car came to a stop and Ryo almost ran to him, willing to kill him in that same instant if he didn't get a straight answer. He slapped the cigarette out of Gaiev's mouth as he screamed, "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!"  
  
Gaiev said nothing. He got up and smiled at Ryo. Then, without resistance in Ryo's behalf, he led his lover inside, closing the door shortly after they where both inside. "No fears, luv," Gaiev said softly once inside, looking deeply in to Ryo's eyes, melting Ryo's wrath in a second once his lips touched those of his lover. And it suddenly didn't matter anymore: strange how murder and mystery can be forgotten with a simple kiss, with a touch, with a whisper.  
  
"Wait!" Ryo was out of breath when he separated from Gaiev's lips and realized why he was so upset, "Hold on a minute here! You still haven't answered my question! What the hell is going on with you, Gaiev?! You just go, leave, no note, no phone call, no nothing?!"  
  
"I 'ad t' take care of some business before Micka left," was Gaiev's natural response, twirling his fingers in Ryo's hair, his eyes fixated on Ryo's lips, his eyes darkened with lust for the man standing in front of him, "And now it's all been taken care of...I can stay with you forever, my love..."  
  
"Dorian was found dead in a hotel room, is that the business you refer to?"  
  
"No... bu' thanks for the info," Gaiev laughed softly, "I 'ad to take care of some family papers while Micka was 'ere so 'e could take them back to Moscow and start the transactions from there... I 'ad no idea this 'ad 'appened to dear old Dorian..."  
  
Ryo looked in to Gaiev's eyes. He wanted to believe him but his mind, his heart, his entire insides where screaming he was lying. "I wanted to come 'ome early," Gaiev continued to say, trailing soft kisses around Ryo's neck, "bu' you know 'ow things with Micka are: 'e starts talking like there's no tomorrow and then..."  
  
"Then it's been a day and still I haven't heard from you..." Ryo's voice was bitter. Gaiev smiled sweetly as he cupped Ryo's face, "Why?"  
  
"I wanted to make things right, for you... for both of us... and now they are... as I've said before, now, I'll be with you forever..."  
  
He leaned in for a kiss and Ryo responded to that kiss and without realizing it, he was lead in to the bedroom, where he was carefully placed on top of the bed, kissing and kissing, more and more, feverish passion that wanted to explode at the single most delicate touch that they could possibly master over their bodies. Ryo moaned deliciously as Gaiev started to lick and kiss seductively on his neck, careful not to harm his beloved one, "I want you, Ryo..." he whispered lasciviously in to Ryo's ear, nibbling on it ever so often, "I want to make love to you... I want to stay with you forever... I... ti ochen' nuzhna mne... lyublyu tebya vsem sertsem, vsey dushoyu, Ryo..."  
  
And somehow their lovemaking was sweeter this time, softer, tender; it was intense when they both reached the pinnacle, the edge of existence, crying out each other's name in unison, in rhythm with each other's movements, their souls in complete sync with one another. And it felt like forever was at the reach of their fingertips when stars came down and showered them both in ecstasy. Ryo knew they belonged like that, together, embracing each other and feeling each other's breaths as sleep took over after exhaustion; soft kisses placed on warm, sweaty flesh, kisses that meant everything in every language possible. Eyes that spoke volumes of love in every single sparkle they gave Ryo as a promise of eternal devotion. And Ryo felt complete surrounded by this elixir; he felt entirely whole with Gaiev by his side...  
  
"I want to fly with you..." he whispered to Gaiev, kissing him softly on the lips, "I want to be here, always, and never leave your side..."  
  
Gaiev kissed him back and smiled, "Never, love... this is a promise I'll keep..."  
  
He got up, making Ryo wonder what was going on. He walked over by the window and hunched down to a bag he had on the floor, searching for something – a bit hard under the twilight moon coming down through the curtain. Ryo smiled when he saw Gaiev stand up, but his eyes widened in shock when Gaiev turned around, with a sweet smile on his lips, tender look in his eyes, and a gun on his hand.  
  
"I love you, Ryo" he said before that horrid sound penetrated the air, erasing everything in a split of a second...  
  
... At long last... solace...  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------  
  
Notes: Please don't kill me... ^___^  
  
The song is actually played in Sailor Moon. Firefly is the Sailor Saturn sad little violin music. I thought it was a nice touch to it... soon, my friends, I shall place the entire soundtrack on line so you can listen to it...  
  
DanielBlair_5@hotmail.com  
  
Translator... "Ti ochen' nuzhna mne" – I need you so much "Lyublyu tebya vsem sertsem, vsey dushoyu" – I love you with all my heart, with all my soul 


	33. Cold one coming on

Silence...  
  
Why is it all so quiet?  
  
...........................................Why are you gone?  
  
Why did you do this to me?  
  
..............................I thought you loved me...  
  
... I thought...  
  
.... I thought...  
  
................................. I thought you would never leave me.................  
  
.......you promised...........  
  
.................................you would stay with me forever..............  
  
-----'----,-- (@ RUSSIAN BLUE @)--,----'-----  
Finale, Part 1  
  
-- Cold one coming on --  
  
Rain kept falling down for an unknown reason because there where no clouds in the sky. But it was okay. The rain melted his tears away and it made the pain easier to deal with. Patience. Everyone he'd know had told him to have patience and time would erase everything. Really? Doubt so. He felt so empty inside.  
  
The sound still penetrated his ears.  
  
The blood...  
  
... the smell of gun powder...  
  
... Gaiev's eyes....  
  
His last words...  
  
"I love you, Ryo"  
  
.... Love... yeah....  
  
Nothing last forever, as the song says...  
  
Driving home gets longer every day  
I found new things to do along the way  
A bar room ain't no place to run and hide  
From the memories of a love that said good-bye  
  
He gave a deep sigh and left the bouquet of flowers on top of the grave that read "Dee Laytener" then turned to face the other one, where he'd dropped another similar bouquet a couple of minutes ago. "Gaiev Borisnikayta" it said... or he thought it did, he wasn't sure as the letter where written in Russian and he knew closer to nothing about it. He would like to imagine that the epitaph read something like "Loved brother, good friend" or "He was loved"... but somehow his mind kept reading "blew his brains out in front of me after making love", a very mean thing to think, even if it was true. He looked up, keeping his eyes open in hopes that the rain could erase his memory by entering his cornea. No such luck.  
  
Lucky people who have everything in their lives. What do you have Ryo? Nothing. I have nothing. I have no one to go home to. The two people I ever loved are dead. My son and my daughter-in-law have their own child now... I have nothing. I am left alone. Why do they leave?  
  
Do you make them leave, God? Are you jealous that you have no one who loves you so much up in heaven and that's why you want them by your side? You took Dee away, shamelessly – you took him away without warning, just like that. A snap of the old godly-like fingers and it was done. And Gaiev; how come you didn't let Gaiev know that I was there for him? Why couldn't you make him see another exit? You just drove him to a path no one could predict, no one could set good. You drove him to insanity, drove him to believe that there was no other way out of it, that he was worthless, that I wouldn't miss him. Honestly, you must be laughing in your little couch, you sick freak...  
  
So equal. Even the graves are identical. Cold. Stone. Engraved. Holding together pieces of life, of love. My life. My love. How much can a box hold?  
  
I am making no sense.  
  
I wonder if it was me who was dead... if I was the one deep down that piece of dirt...  
  
... would anybody miss me?  
  
... would Dee have carried on without me?  
  
... would Gaiev met Dee?  
  
... would I be happier?  
  
... would the pain still exist?  
  
God! Would the pain still exist?!  
  
Gaiev!! Gaiev!! You shit!! You promised! You promised you would stay with me forever! You promised that you would love me and that we would be together! That everything would be alright! Well, it's not! It's not alright! We are not together! You DIED!! You shot yourself in our home, in our bed!! You shot yourself so that my eyes could see!! YOU FUCK!!  
  
I HATE YOU!!  
  
I HATE YOU!!  
  
.... God.... I love you...  
  
... why couldn't you see that?... why couldn't I see that?.... why must it be too late for everything?... why can't the rain take me away?... why can't the rain take away everything... everything we did?... everything we said?... everything we touched?... all those nights we made love?... all those promises we made?...  
  
.... Why did you made me fall in love with you?? Why did you made me dependant of your existence if you where going to go away afterward?? Why did you made me see through your eyes if you where going to close them forever?? ......  
  
(Nothing lasts forever...even cold November rain...)  
  
Home. An empty house can't be called a home, can it? And it was right here where you took this piece of metal and end it all... can I do the same?  
  
A gun....  
  
Is it so simple? Is it really that simple?  
  
Look!! It is!! I can just take this gun and point it at my head and pull the trigger!! It's really simple!! The pain will go away in a flash!! No more tears!! No more pain!! No more emptiness!! It can all go away just like that!!  
  
Look at me God!!  
  
I SAID LOOK AT ME!!  
  
See? It's really simple!! Take the gun, shoot the bullet and another one of your creations leaves this earth!! So simple!! I can play God and end my misery!! I can play God too!! Why should I stay behind? Why should I be the one who stays to feel the hole inside my soul!? Why should I not join those I loved?! Dee! Gaiev! You just wait for me and see!!  
  
................ Why? ................  
  
Look... the door....  
  
Bikky!  
  
Makes you wanna start thinking about drinking!  
If I don't find a way to ease my mind  
And leave all this behind  
I'm gonna go crazy!  
Without you, baby!  
  
"Ryo?"  
  
Ryo turned around. He didn't noticed that he'd walked in to the house and he'd left the door unlocked. Carol stood in the doorway, holding her child in her arms, crying softly as Bikky had taken him by the arm and was looking at him with anguish eyes, "Ryo, please... put down the gun... please? Don't do this Ryo..."  
  
His son was crying. Ryo threw himself over Bikky's shoulders, crying loudly. The gun hit the floor with a soft thump as Ryo's grip became lose.  
  
"Oh God! Why?!" he sobbed over and over as Bikky held him tightly, trying to soothe him as best he could. His eyes found those of Carol's, who closed the door behind her and had now kneeled next to them, the baby still sleeping in the carrier Bikky had dragged when they walked in. she threw her arms around them both, her own cries being silenced by Ryo's sobbin.  
  
Outside, it had stopped raining all together and the moon was starting to shine brighter than it ever had.  
  
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Disclaimer: Fake belongs to Sanami Matoh and her people. Other characters included in this fic belong to Yuvia. The song here is called "Cold one Coming on" and it's sung by Montgomery Gentry.  
  
DanielBlair_5@hotmail.com 


	34. Come Away with Me

**-----'----,-- ( RUSSIAN BLUE )--,----'-----  
Finale, Part 2  
Come away with me  
(Norah Jones)**

****

****

Slowly, he opened his eyes and felt the soft presence of deep green eyes looking at him with love and tenderness. Dee's hand was soothing him, scrambling his chestnut hair as his lips drew a soft smile, "It's okay", he said, "Are you okay?"  
  
Ryo stared at him for a couple of minutes. There they where, in their old bed, the sunlight beaming softly across the curtains that flew with the mellow wind blowing them apart. There was nothing more than silence in the room, as Ryo's eyes started to water, touching Dee's worried face, "What's wrong?" Dee asked.  
  
"It was all a dream?" Ryo spoke in a whisper, "Was it all a dream?"  
  
"Dream?" Dee asked.  
  
"You died. You died and then I – you died. And I was alone and sad, and then I went to England... and I met... this guy... who looked exactly like you... and I fell in love with him... and... and he was a prostitute... and then he shot himself... in front of me... and I was alone again... Oh, Dee!" he snuggled closer to his lover, "Dee! Tell me it was all a dream! Tell me it was all a horrible, horrible dream! Tell me that you're not dead, that I'm not alone, that everything is alright... please? Dee?"  
  
Dee smiled sweetly, "I'm sorry," he said trailing Ryo's anguished face with his fingertips, "I wish I could tell you that... but the truth is that I am dead..."  
  
"No... it can't..."  
  
"Ryo... you arrived to London yesterday... you've been sleeping for hours on end... your subconscious mind had to make up something weird and painful for you to wake up," Dee sounded like his old badger self again, but when he got no response from Ryo his voice changed to that tender-loving tone, "It'll be alright, Ryo... You'll see... You'll meet someone, that I know. And I want you to be happy... don't say no to me, Ryo..." he added when Ryo started to shake his head slowly, involuntary tears starting to stream down his face as his eyes where locked in to Dee's, "I want you to be happy, do you understand? I want you to get up, open your eyes, live. Live life to the fullest, my dearest one... and I'll be happy, watching over you... always with you..."  
  
They kissed. Ryo felt like his life was being taken with a single breath, his hands grasping to Dee's body like it was a life-saving moment. "I love you, Dee..." he said, his voice quivering.  
  
"It's time to move on, Ryo..."  
  
He was awake. All of a sudden he was awake, alone, in a London hotel. He hadn't even unpacked yet, let alone met someone. He didn't even stop to think when he was already standing in front of the desk, handing over the key. The receptionist blinked a couple of times, surprised by these actions.  
  
"But Sir... you – you just checked-in yesterday... a whole week's reservation..."  
  
Ryo smiled politely, "I need to go home," he said, "I – I can't stay here..."  
  
It is strange, the void one feels when one wakes up from such a realistic dream. Yet Ryo was sort of happy that he came home and found an un-pregnant Carol, a happy Bikky and that old apartment of his, still intact. He wanted to keep it like this.  
  
"I thought you where staying the whole week?" Bikky said as Ryo started to unpack.  
  
"I couldn't stay. I had the strangest dream," Ryo meditated, but then broke it off and said, "I missed home..."  
  
"Are... are you okay?" Carol asked, worried. Ryo nodded, "I'll be okay..." he assured her, "It's just going to take a little while..."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -  
  
Ryo sighed. A ton of paperwork was already done and another tone already waiting patiently for his attention on top of his desk. Police work never ends, he thought to himself as he started filling up some of the files.  
  
Murders, homicide, rape. It was just another day at the 27th precinct. Ryo's partner, Drake, had been whining all day, bitching and crying about the lousy pay and how his girlfriend was not going to be happy, him getting off late and all, oops! Sorry, Ryo, I didn't mean to remind you of Dee...  
  
"It's okay, really. I'm okay. I'm just... tired, I guess..."  
  
"Hey! Are you doing anything this Saturday?" Drake asked. Ryo shook his head as Drake handed him a couple of tickets, "It's a benefit thing down at the Photographic Gallery. I would go, but I got assigned to the third one that day..."  
  
"No shit... Thanks..." Ryo took the tickets. Three. Bikky, Carol and himself would have a nice time.  
  
Finally! Something to look forward to!  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"The Photographic Gallery of the Independent Arts welcomes world-renown artist Alexéievich Borinskaya and his new photographic series, Russia in Blue..." It was like walking in to another world once they stepped inside the gallery. People in tux, women in fancy dresses, talking and giggling over the champagne poured in to the tall glassed, bubbling and getting in to your nose to tickle you kind of drink. The photos where amazing, Ryo thought to himself as he began to walk away from Carol and Bikky without noticing it. He felt a sense of nostalgia as he saw the dim lighting in Moscow on a cloudy day. His glass was empty and the table where the champagne was wasn't far from his position; he could see the small band that played soft jazz in the background, and the girl in black dress singing sensually next to the piano. People where sitting on tables scattered around the place, yes, it was a banquet, a small petite detail his friend Drake forgot to mention.  
  
Bikky and Carol where dancing in the small dance floor and Ryo felt a little envious specially since a couple of male companions where dancing as well. Then, there was a strange shiver run up and down his spine as he turned around to glare at the young photographer whose work was being honored that day. Eyes meeting in crushing contact...  
  
... They say that when you meet the love of your life... time stops...  
  
Ryo turned to drink nervously from his glass. He turned back. The artist was gone. Good. Good. No need to be all moody all of a sudden, right? It wasn't possible... It wasn't even close to being possible.  
  
This guy looked like...  
  
"Umm... Hello..."  
  
Ryo almost spitted out the champagne and the young man took a step back in surprise by Ryo's reaction, "Oh... s-sorry I startled you...I just..."  
  
They looked in to each other's eyes again. He looked like Dee... but with brownish-red hair and whiter skin... taller too... skinnier... smelling nice...  
  
"You – I... well... I saw you coming in..." he said in a marked English accent, feeling completely ashamed of himself and even turning in to a soft shade of pink as he spoke, "... and well... I – I know this is going to sound terribly odd... yet... I – I know I 'ad a dream about you the other night... I know! I know it sounds weird!" he giggled nervously when he caught a glimpse of Ryo's surprised face, "I am a bit odd, my friend Micka keeps telling me I'm a walking circus monkey... But I swear it's true... your name is Ryo, right?"  
  
"Gaiev?" Ryo whispered. The other one smiled in amusement.  
  
"Oh my God!" he laughed, "You sound just like in my dreams!"  
  
"You're... a photographer?" Ryo said without really taking note of what he was saying. Gaiev nodded, "An artist. First time in America, actually. But isn't it strange? I mean, I've dreamt with a lot of people before, but never actually got to meet one in my dreams first and then... and then meeting them in person and realizing just how... wonderful their eyes are in real life..."  
  
Ryo blushed deeply and looked down, feeling completely unarmed by this man's gaze. Then, a soft touch in his chin made him lift his head back up.  
  
"Gaiev Alexéievich Borinskaya, at your service..."  
  
"I know..." Ryo whispered completely lost in Gaiev's aroma, his eyes staring bluntly at Gaiev's lips, feeling the need to kiss them and being kissed by them in return "I've dreamt about you too... what are the odds, hum?"  
  
Gaiev smiled, "Want to dance?" he asked and Ryo nodded, letting himself being led to the dance floor as a new song started to play.  
  
_Come away with me in the night  
Come away with me  
And I will write you a song  
  
Come away with me on a bus  
Come away where they can't tempt us with their lies  
  
I want to walk with you  
On a cloudy day  
In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high  
So won't you try to come...  
  
Come away with me and we'll kiss  
On a mountaintop  
Come away with me  
And I'll never stop loving you  
_  
"Ya znal, chto naydu tebya..." Gaiev whispered and Ryo knew exactly what that meant. Gaiev leaned over for a kiss, and it was as if no one else existed in the entire room, a room that started spinning in Ryo's head ad he found himself kissing this... stranger? Could he be called a stranger?  
  
Or a dream come true maybe?  
  
_ And I want to wake up with the rain  
Falling on a tin roof  
While I'm safe there in your arms  
So all I ask for you  
To come away with me in the night  
Come away with me  
_  
Maybe...

"And if dreams where meant to last forever..." Ryo whispered softly, "let it be a second in your arms..."

The End  
  
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Ending a new story. Second fanfic I finish (first one was the Sakura Cardcaptors one in Spanish. Started a second part for it a year ago... not gonna happen...) and I am happy and proud of finishing it. Started as a crazy idea in my head... glad you liked it... I hope...  
  
And so, it ends. I want to thank all of you who had been reading along these lines, waiting patiently as I un-screwed my head and my computer to get this job done. Ha! I bet you didn't expect this final twist, did you? Yes. I am the master of my own domain... Well, to let you know, I was inspired by Brad Pitt's ass in Troy to make this chapter happen. Not true. Ha ha. Half of it. Anyway, I want to thank the wonderful artist whose music has inspired me and kept me awake throughout all these nights of working. I would also like to thank the inventors of wine, because it too was a constant companion in the making of Russian Blue (Hello, my name is Rainy, and I have a problem ) Thank yous go out to the guy who invented Ramen (let's face it, it HAD to be a guy; a chubby lonely guy who had waaay too much time in his hands) and to the person who invented Tic-tacs... and to those wacky elves who live in a tree and make such yummy cookies!! To Sanami Matoh, for creating such wonderful characters (got the FINAL Fake manga today... sob sob) and to other mangakas who have created such wonderful mangas and that soon enough I shall be doing a fanfic about them (Ha ha ha). Thank you to all my loyal readers, whom I shall never get tired of sucking up to because I want you to keep reading my stories (another one on the way, just have to get my act together, okay?) To my friends... okay, maybe not all of them. Just two. Okay, so they are more than friends to me. First, to my mistress, the one who had her whip ready to go at the first sight of me not writing, Angie: lyublyu tebya vsem sertsem, vsey dushoyu. Secondly, to Tenshi, my mirror-image life who is more than a friend: you are my sister and my inspiration to keep fighting no matter how sucky the odds are. I love you, my dearest friend, and remember that I am here, no matter what happens.  
  
And with this, I say to you... at this particular time, somewhere, someplace, a chubby guy is touching his belly...  
  
Y para todos ustedes los parlantes de habla hispana... los adoro. Recuerden que cuando todo el resto falla, siempre se puede uno divertir con explosivos...  
  
Ja né!  
  
Send your comments, threats, donations and other significant thoughts to the following e-mail (and expect a response from me... sorry for the bad English grammar!! I'll work at it more, I promise!!)  
  
DanielBlair5hotmail.com 


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